Tag Archives: Emotion

Fake it

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I know I often put my (bad) moods here. And somehow I know I “shouldn’t” do that as basically Inspiration for Success is business. And business is business and should serve customers, regardless of, yes, of what? And yes, I want to inspire people, inspire you. For success or something. Or maybe happiness. But should I fake my moods? I’m not sure, as to me that would feel like being dishonest. And while writing this I remember my promise that I want to achieve my success in the open. And be open about what’s happening to me. But yes, it’s not very inspiring sometimes, or even often, my daily posts. Even though I normally try to make something inspiring or good out of it at the end, give some kind advice or thought or so.

So yesterday I was watching America’s next top model and was watching the feedback, the criticism of the jury to the candidates, especially one candidate. And it seemed that this candidate just had had a bad day or something. So here performance had not been that good. And the advice was that in that kind of situation she should just fake it. And it kind of hit me, as the jury had a point, especially related to success, success in business. As I notice more and more that if you want to reach the top in business, you really need to be good, no not good, perfect.

And it can be done. As every (Hollywood type) movie appears perfect to me. As are high quality dance shows, where everybody is in sync. And I realize more and more that that is just about practice and being good. And there are no second chances. It just has to be good, even though of course I know many things are edited. But yes, being a dancer, you wouldn’t want to hold up the whole group by not performing ‘perfect’. And if course it’s OK things go wrong every now and then and that you make mistakes. But in the end, the result needs to be perfect. As it can be perfect as many performers, magazines, movies and products show.

But there is a weird paradox here, as in the same America’s next top model we always here about some people, some photo’s there is no emotion. And that is NOT considered good. So could you fake emotion? I don’t think so. And somehow you shouldn’t. But maybe that’s where teamwork comes in, like show you emotion to the team and the team will help you create the perfect result no matter what. Or could you really fake it? I’m a bit confused now.

And somehow I know the answer, as a performance or product could and should indeed be perfect. Something like you really want it, desire it. And on the other hand it should be mixed with emotion, your real emotion, your real state of being, whether happy or sad. And yes, I know that can be done, as no matter my emotional state, if I’m in flow I can still do nice work, produce something, produce something nice, forget about everything.

And I’m sure you can also, so again, it’s all about state of mind, finding the right state of mind.

 

For the kind and the sensitive

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Pinky Gaudiano“One of the longest posts I will ever do.. And the most real too…. Everyone will go through some hard times at some point. Life isn’t easy. Just something to think about…Did you know the people that are the strongest are usually the most sensitive? Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated? Did you know the ones who take care of others all the time are usually the ones who need it the most? Did you know the three hardest things to say are I love you, I’m sorry, and help me? Sometimes just because a person looks happy, you have to look past their smile and see how much pain they may be in. To all my friends who are going through some issues right now–Let’s start an intention avalanche. We all need positive intentions right now. If I don’t see your name, I’ll understand. May I ask my friends wherever you might be, to kindly copy and paste this status for one hour to give a moment of support to all those who have family problems, health struggles, job issues, worries of any kind and just need to know that someone cares. Do it for all of us, for nobody is immune. I hope to see this on the walls of all my friends just for moral support. I know some will!! I did it for a friend and you can too. You have to COPY & PASTE this, NO SHARING.” – Pinky Gaudiano

Infinite Intelligence

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The last days, weeks, maybe months I have been starting to follow my inner feelings a bit more, something like following Infinite Intelligence a bit more. And it takes me away from all those pressuring things I feel and felt from what everybody, what the world has taught me over the years, since I’m in this world.

And it seems that whenever I do that, follow my inner feelings, the more I do that, no matter how weird or ‘bad’ it seems, things are falling more into place, things go smoother in the end.

Like often I just move around, sit or lie down somewhere or grab a book or some other text or something when I feel ‘bad’ and want to feel better, want to do something ‘good’, feel ‘good’. And mostly, if I just follow my gut feel, I end up with something useful, with something that I just need at that moment.

And there is still this ‘have to’ feeling, that has been with me so long and that has been so bad for me. Like the last few weeks, months, my daily schedule has moved from ‘normal day times’ to something like ‘noon’ to ‘long after midnight’ and I consider it bad. And I’m not happy with it. But I don’t know what to do with it, how to change it back, back to normal.

But my ‘not moving’ all goes back to some deep unhappiness, some deep feeling of unfulfillment, some feeling of ‘wrong’ that I can’t, couldn’t get hold of. And I know it has everything to do with ‘not being me’, not accepting or appreciating who I am, following others too much.

And slowly I’m letting go of that. Slowly I’m accepting that this is who I am, that what I feel is the right thing, that if I feel like lying down it’s often, or maybe always the right thing to do. That it’s not plainly ‘laziness’ as my partner often calls it.

So this morning again, when I was later again than I thought, but at least a little earlier than yesterday, I got this impulse of getting the ‘next day’ of the “thirty day program of Abraham Hicks“, at the moment meaning I’m just getting the next or what feels like “the next” from my pile of papers.

And I found this (from the teachings of Abraham Hicks):

“Only by seeing examples of others who appreciate and approve of and like themselves, can anyone be inspired to self-appreciation. Unfortunately, there are few such examples around.

You would recognize one another who truly appreciates him[her]self by noting these characteristics:

They are genuinely happy. Not offering insincere smiles but the warm and genuine smile that comes from the eyes as well as the heart. They are one who appreciates you, seeing things in you that you would like to see in you, pointing out to you things that you, perhaps, have never seen about yourself…

SELF-APPRECIATION IS ESSENTIAL TO JOYFUL LIFE EXPERIENCE.”

and this:

Allowing Others The Same Freedom:

“Once you understand the power of thought, you will joyously experience your own freedom to express and to be as you are – while you will be willing to allow all others the same freedom. As more of you reach this state of being, it will be a time of peace and a time of contentment and a time of wondrous joy upon your Planet Earth.

The Law of Attraction and the Law of Creation are universal. They apply to all dimensions and to all experience, physical and Non-physical. And just as they apply to your individual creating, to that creating that does not involve others, such as the maintenance of perfect health – they also appy to what you create, through the form of agreements, one with another.”

And especially the first part struck me, as that seems the core of what I have been looking for. Seeing examples of others, feeling inspired by others.

And again, that’s what this whole site is about, that’s what I want to give to the world.

So for me the answer for today seems to be that I first need to appreciate and approve of myself before I can inspire others.

And the same of course would apply to you.

And I just found a page on Psychology Today that may be interesting to read more about this: love yourself.

Basic needs

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Today I couldn’t really get going and I couldn’t really figure out why, as actually things are getting better, at least business wise. I got some new requests and some small orders. And while thinking, kind of roaming around restless, lying down again, reading a ‘day’ from the 30 day program of Abraham Hicks I realized that my main issue is that my basic needs are not met, I mean the basic needs according to Maslov’s hiearchy o f needs, like food and water, which I thought was the lowest level. And I thought the second was sex, but according to the image I just found it’s a bit different than I thought.

Maslov's hierarchy of needs.

And reading a bit further I see the model is also disputed, which of course is kind of logical, as it’s just a scientific hypothesis. Some more information can be found on Fundamental Human Needs.

So while writing I realize there are many theories around, so maybe let’s just analyze my personal needs and the feelings around it. And what’s the result. And preferably of course some kind of a solution, as I don’t feel OK, I don’t feel happy and that’s been going on for quite a while, looking back even most of my life.

So let’s think, what’s bothering me most. I guess what’s bothering me most is that I depend on others for many of my needs where I can’t find ways to make others fulfill those needs.

And the most frustrating thing behind that is that I have been trying all my life to fulfill the needs of others while I can’t even find ways to fulfill my own needs. And somehow this all goes back to something like my belief of lacking something like ‘people skills’. As that’s what people have been telling me all my life and that’s what I’ve been experiencing all my life. And the biggest issue with that is that i don’t have a way out, don’t see a way out. Because those ‘people skills’ you either have or you don’t. And I’ve been trying to fake them all my life, trying to ‘do what is right’ towards people in order to meet ‘the worlds needs’ as that’s what seems to be required to get what you want, fulfill your needs. And until now I didn’t manage, things even got worse, slowly but surely. And there comes in some other belief, something else what people say, and that’s that I need to ‘change’.

And rationally this all doesn’t make sense. And somehow I think this all is also the tragedy of being human, of human life.

But somehow I still believe there must be some way out, there must be a way to live a happy, fulfilling life where I am happy and where my environment is happy with me and I am happy with my environment.

And I know I’m not the only one, otherwise there wouldn’t be so many ‘self help sites’, ‘self help books’, psychologists, psychiatrists, etc., etc.

And otherwise this site, this project wouldn’t even exist. But my main issue is still that I’m not happy, that I’m not successful, that even somehow still fall deeper down, although somehow something seems to have changed recently, somehow there has been some ‘shift in energy’. But not enough and right now I still feel bad. And I still don’t see a way out.

And according to my team and according to all those ‘self help guru’s’ and movies and documentaries and books I need to come with some solution here, otherwise my article is incomplete, otherwise this site, this blog won’t be successful. And I guess from a readers point of view they are right. Or not? Wouldn’t there be a crowd who would still like to read my stuff, my complaints, my problems, my philosophical thoughts, etc., etc.

And I don’t want Inspiration for Success to be just another self help site. So yes, I guess somehow I have to go my own way, somehow I have to keep writing my own style, my own stuff. As apparently all those other sites and books and whatever also don’t have all the answers.

Yes, reading those articles and the advice is useful and often makes you, makes me feel better. But the more I read this stuff I’m starting to believe that in the end the only purpose of those sites, of those books of those e-mails I get every day are only a way to keep me, to keep you ‘hooked’.

And of course that’s also what I’m doing, what I want. Of course I also want you to read my stuff, and keep reading, and in the end preferably giving something back. But over time indeed, I realized more and more that basically I want to give, not receive. Except indeed the Universe doesn’t work that way. Somehow there needs to be balance. And somehow that’s what I feel, that’s what you may feel. That there is something out of balance, that the give and receive process is out of balance.

So let’s try to balance it.

From current reality to what I want

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Well, the basic question is how to get from the current situation, where I am now, to where I want to go. Although while writing this it sounds like it doesn’t make any sense. As there is only ‘now’. And yes, somehow there is something ‘past’ and yes, somehow there is something ‘future’. But I am getting more and more confused about how it all comes together.

And yes, somehow there is no ‘coincidence’, somehow you can indeed define your own life. But somehow also there are ‘circumstances’ you don’t have (direct) control over. And somehow everybody is unique and has his or her own ‘characteristics’.

And again, going back to ‘inspiring’ I’m not fully sure how to continue this. Although somehow this site, this project is also something like my life story. Things to do or not to do. But that’s where it gets more tricky the more I read and think and write.

So we have something like ‘there is only now’. And we have something like ‘everything is energy’. And we have something like ‘we are all part of the same consciousness’. And there is something like ‘there is not time’, there is more something like a space-time continuum.

And we have something like ‘feelings’ and ’emotions’ and ‘physical reality’ and ‘choice’.

And related to all of this I like most the ideas of Abraham Hicks, who says something that everything in the Universe is looking for something like ‘a best place to be’, ‘this feels better than that’.

But again, the more I am thinking about these things I can’t make any direct relation to my life and how to go to a ‘better place’. Although the answer according the philosophy of Abraham Hicks is something like ‘just feel good and reality will follow’. But that has been a problem for me, especially the last few days, weeks. As I just felt lousy and I didn’t find a way to change that (yet), although while writing this I feel a little bit better. And that has been a bit like that all my life and is also kind of the cause of why I feel, or felt, like I felt.

And the story of my life seems to be that ‘everybody’ has been telling me that ‘I have to change’, or the last message ‘you won’t get anywhere until you change your ways’. So I tried to ‘change’, all my life. Often something like ‘doing what other people want’, especially my partner and my boss.

So when reading Think and Grow Rich that is exactly what you should NOT do, following advice from or listening to others. And in many other places, especially from people who appear ‘happy’ or ‘successful’ I read to NOT do things to please others. To be ‘myself’.

And there again I get lost, because being ‘myself’ seems to cause a lot of problems with others. As that means something like ‘I want this and someone else wants something else’. Although Abraham Hicks gives a solution for that, something like ‘allowing’, allowing yourself and allowing others.

And I think I made progress with the ‘allowing’ I think, although I’m still not fully sure how it works.

The main thing that keeps haunting me though is that other people seem to be much more successful and happy than I am. But of course there is no way to check if that is really true. And that’s the problem, but I guess also the main reason for this  site, this blog. And the reason for this post.