Tag Archives: Goals

If I had known what I know now when I was eighteen

Yes, that has been in my mind for a while, if I had known before what I know now, like if I had known everything I know when I was eighteen I’m quite sure I would be rich by now and have a better relationship and all the things I want or would have wanted.

The weird thing is that i could still have it as I’m only fifty years old and presuming I can still easily reach eighty or more I have plenty of time to get all the things I want or wanted. But somehow something changed in the meanwhile, especially something like there are some things i don’t want to give up on, mainly some commitments I made.

So logically the whole thing doesn’t add up as there are many things I don’t have right now and I want and I just don’t want to go for it the same way I would have gone for it when I was eighteen.

And I wanted this post to be something inspiring, like something ‘you can have anything you want’ for people who are eighteen now, but it seems much more interesting for now to analyze a bit more what’s going on or what has happened to me that even though I kind of know now that I can have anything I want, still, I just don’t want it, even though I’m starting to believe more and more that I can still have it. But I want it in a different way, not in the way I would have wanted it when I was eighteen.

So what’s my message to young people now. I think the main thing is something like ‘be patient’, don’t grab things as they come along. It seems when you are young you tend to grab things if they are good enough, or at least I did. So it could be personal, but somehow I have the feeling it’s not, somehow I have the feeling it applies to many people what i am experiencing, what I am talking about now.

So what do I not want to give up. Well, mainly my relationship. I am very committed to my relationship, even though I know it’s not the best in the world. But as of the moment my plan is to make it the best relationship in the world and not changing partner, which rationally would probably be much easier, much more preferable. But I don’t want to. I chose for this person and I believe in ‘for better or for worse’, I believe in a lifetime relationship. And yes, this may be personal. So looking back, what would I have done differently? I guess I would have not let myself guide by my emotions so much, like being in love and go for it, again, as rationally that’s not the wisest thing to do. And while writing and thinking the main thing I think is that I don’t want to give up on me, on myself, on my belief that a relationship is for life. I guess because somehow has been and still is the biggest value in my life.

So advice for young people: just give it a little more time, or a lot more time. You have a lot more time than you think and taking time to find the right partner I think now is a much better way than giving in to the longing for love, sex, relationship, partnership.

So what else would I have done differently? Well, I guess I would have planned my life a bit better. Same thing, in certain situations, in certain periods in my life I was defeated, felt I had nothing left. So I grabbed the first thing that was available to get out of that unwanted situation. I think with what I know now I again would have given it a bit more time. Or would not have given up anyhow, would have turned the situation around, no matter how bad it felt or was. And recently and at the moment I’m actually doing that. I didn’t give up so easily what I thought I lost and it seems I’m succeeding in what I wanted, what I want right now, by just not giving up.

So going back to begin rich, yes I believe that I would have been rich by now, really rich if I had known what i know now when I started my career. Again, same thing, I would have been more patient, would have planned better, would have listened to myself better than listening to my parents and the people around me about what i was supposed to do with my life, with my working life, with my career. And yes, I know now i”m quite slow with those things, was and am quite naive. But looking back I should have taken some more time do ‘do nothing’, check what I really wanted, learn more on how to get rich (through work), really focus and plan.

So where does that knowledge come from I have now and didn’t have back then. Well, mainly from the ideas in Think and Grow Rich I guess. And it must come from much more, but it all kind of felt into place with Think and Grow Rich, or actually finding myself in the same situation almost a year ago from ten, or now eleven years ago. And I didn’t want to repeat that. I wanted better.

So indeed, I guess it’s something like really wanting something. And for me it was that I wanted my relationship to work this time, no matter what. I wanted it better, perfect, no matter what. And that brought me where I am now, from a completely hopeless situation where I had lost everything to a situation where I have perspective again, including these ‘impossible’ things I don’t want to talk too much about as they are quite private. So I can confirm to never ever give up, no matter how bad the situation is. If you really want something it’s possible.

And I think I need some more time and space to work on this further, to convert this into a more readable article for young people, or for people like me one year ago, or for people like me right now.

As related to the last the question is of course how to get from where I am now to that situation I had in mind when I was eighteen. How would I do that now? Rationally I’m quite sure that’s possible, however there are some more hurdles than when I was eighteen, or at least I feel some more hurdles, mainly commitments I made to other people, but looking further of course they are commitments to myself. And there are some things that seem harder. One main thing is how to meet the right people. That has always been an issue for me, but living in the place where I live now that seems quite impossible. And again, while writing that it’s not true. Yes, it would be easier to meet the right people in places like New York, the western world, but the city where i live now has still half a million inhabitants or so and the capital with 12 million people or many more is only one and a half hours flight away and there are many flights every day. And i don’t want to move, but I’m certainly willing to travel and I’m starting to realize that many people, business people, don’t like that and would be happy if I do that for them.

But still, I know what I want now, much, much better than before, much, much better than in any period in my life. I just don’t know exactly where to start, how to make the right connections.

So still something to learn, still something to think about.

But for you, if you are eighteen or anywhere between eighty and forty or so, just be a bit more patient, don’t grab the first thing that passes by and looks a bit or a lot like the thing you are looking for, the thing you really want. Just think it over and be careful with emotions, especially emotions like falling in love, maybe not only with another person but also with a job or a business or whatever else you are sensitive about.

So I guess that’s also what I still have to tell myself right now, just be patient and take a bit more time until I’m very sure that the thing that passes by is really the thing I want, not only now, but also ten or twenty years from now.

The Power of the Master Mind

Wow, today I started to feel the Power of the Master Mind as described by Napoleon Hill. As you may know the Master Mind principle, so more simple, ‘teamwork’, is one of my biggest weaknesses. So realizing that after my(?!) last formal team meeting on May 7, 2013 there was finally a team meeting today was really progress for me.

So yes, I guess this is my learning process. I am an idea guy and have many and great ideas. And I am very intelligent and a fast learner. But other people have other interests and other priorities and involving them in a project like this as i want is not easy or even ‘impossible’, at least short term. They also don’t have the background in this project, don’t have the feel, the connection with it as I have. And I’m asking also something ‘impossible’ as I want them to do a lot of work while not paying them as I don’t have the money to pay them. If I had I would probably do, so one of my options is even to find an investor for my project. But then, what project? The project Inspiration for Success that is intended to build “The best website to inspire people (for success)”? Or my sample project to make myself successful, make me earn one million dollar?

And of course the last is very egoistic also, even though I want my team members also earn one million dollars each. However, what i am starting to notice is that it is very hard to do ‘anything’ positive to people if you are really in need yourself. And yes, I am in need of quite some things and that makes it very hard to ‘be’ something for other people. So yes, I can understand that mostly or only successful people can be inspiring, share their story. Why would you follow me, with my business down the drain, no money left and quite alone without many friends?

So yes, I need success, you need success if you want to inspire people, guide people, lead people. So yes, I need my sample project to succeed, at least partly, so I don’t need to worry about money, about what I will eat next month or where i will live. As ‘living’ and ‘eating’ are very important for people and indeed, I never knew how important, so I’m very happy with the lesson, feeling like having nothing left. But I don’t want to stay there as it’s very humiliating and indeed, makes unhappy in the sense that “Money certainly does not make one happy, but no money certainly brings unhappiness”.

And yes, why wouldn’t I be traveling again, enjoy life? Do the things I want to do? Just for fun? Who wouldn’t want to? Who doesn’t deserve that? Indeed, I’m starting to believe more and more that life is to be enjoyed, that life is not supposed to be ‘suffering’. And yes, suffering brought me a lot of insight, I have learned much more from suffering than from happiness. But I’m also tired, tired from having no money, from not even be able to go to the beach, from not being able to treat the dogs well with their skin diseases, not being able to visit friends and family. So yes, I can imagine a little bit now what it must be to have children in this kind of situation. It must be heartbreaking if you can’t feed your children, can’t send them to school or just take care of them as you would like to, as they deserve.

So yes, I’m still privileged, basically only having myself to take care of, but it’s no fun, certainly not.

Postponing decisions

This afternoon I was talking with some friends about Inspiration for Success and as our team is not yet complete, of course I was also checking if one or more of them were interested joining the team. So while talking we also discussed the sample goal and that I and/or the team still did not finally decided whether to go for the ‘paid site‘ option or leave open to still also add things like advertisements and such.

While talking about the Principles of Success I noticed what an enormous effect the NOT making of this decision, or other decisions, has or can have. What I did was imagining the ‘one million dollar goal’ in one corner of the room and noticed that with just focusing there it was very easy to just go there, walk slowly and get it. Leaving the other option open suddenly made the spectrum of ‘where to go’ unimaginably bigger. Instead of one place to go there was suddenly something like 90 degrees of direction where I could go as I imagined the other option somewhere 90 degrees left of the first option. So as long as I left the decision open there was a 90 degree area where I could go, making me wander, while when I put the one option in my mind I would and could just simply walk towards it.

So this makes certainly clear how important focus is, how important it is to set a very clear and specific goal. And based on my ‘walking around’ experience, adding just one option makes the spectrum of ‘where to go’ unimaginably bigger, not just two options, but a whole range of options, even outside of the 90 degree area. I just felt lost, didn’t know where to go. And this is what doubt is all about I guess.

So no, we still didn’t make the final decision yet on the sample goal, but it also implies how much effect this has on the project, including reaching the one million dollar goal.

So yes, don’t make decisions too easy, but also certainly wait too long making them as not making them seems to have much more impact than you would think at first thought.

Perseverance in achieving your personal goal.

When we come across the word Perseverance, somehow we think of it as a big word.  In fact too big to know what it is and how it can affect us in our life’s journey.

When we say persevere, it means something like being steadfast despite a difficult situation or a delay in achieving our personal goal in life. It could also mean continuance in a state of grace leading to a state of glory.

I remember watching OPRAH at one point in my life and she wisely said that to be able to reach your personal goal in life you have to close your eyes and imagine it as it happen. Make it believable that you are actually achieving it and it will happen for you.  You just have to be steadfast and have a mindset that slowly but surely your goals will be achieved in no time.

In my career, I spent half my life being a banker and / or a service provider.  But my ultimate goal is to work in a top outsourcing firm as Financial Analyst.

When opportunity knocks, I opened the door and embraced a slow pace leading to that ladder.  Knowing that in the end I could use the technical skill to my advantage when the right time comes along.  I accepted the job to a local BPO company as a Financial Analyst. Its like testing the water to know if its too deep kind-of-feeling. The job offer ranges from mediocre to impossibly low but I didn’t bother.  Thus, I spent all my energy and effort in learning this new side of accounting skill.

After a year and a half, TOP foreign BPO firms wanted to hire me as financial analyst, not just one but two or three.  I am amazed how they offer me so much in terms of compensation.  But that just me and the word perseverance.  I am about to get my job offer in no time after passing a tough interview (or series of interviews) for the last two weeks which is insanely impossible if you do not have a single hope that it is still attainable no matter how difficult your situation maybe. Just believe in yourself and be steadfast.

As they say… “Aim high and hit the mark…”

 

 

How sports can inspire and help you to be more successful

I recently published an article about my first triathlon here in the Philippines and I am quite happy about the fact that so many people enjoyed reading the post – thank you for your interest!

During the last couple of weeks and months, a few people were asking me about how I could spend so much time with my (almost) daily training; and I would always reply something like “I just got used to it” and “I need that exercise to balance my virtual life as an online marketer”. Continue reading