Tag Archives: Small steps

Evasive?

I often use indirect or evasive communication to avoid conflict or confrontation. So I want to learn better use direct and straightforward communication to resolve conflicts and deal appropriately with confrontations. That was something presented to me today and it seems to fit me, seems to fit my behavior. But something else I was confronted with was that I often act in ways that invite others to reject, shame, or express anger toward them. So I am looking to act in ways that encourage loving and healthy responses from others.

So just now I was confronted with a situation where I didn’t know what to do, how to behave. As I felt provoked by someone close to me, so finally I decided just to leave, but while reading the above it might have been evasive communication. But ‘confrontation’ in this type of situation with this person mostly just ends in anger, so I didn’t and don’t know what to do, even though I think that I might have done a little bit better than in the past.

And I still don’t know what I am doing or not doing that seem to make other people, well, not sure what to day. Do I make them feel insecure or something? But maybe I am just going too fast, as I just started learning about these things where people like me or with my type of behavior are being helped and supported by doing better.

So yes, let’s just relax and start with step one.

Home safe

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It seems I still miss the passion or determination part of things as right now I just feel tired and want to stop, enjoy, go to bed and not write here, especially as Id don’t have or feel any inspiration about writing an inspiring post here.

And still, while thinking about the above, re-reading the above paragraph, this is not fully true. As somehow I still want to write inspiring stuff, still want Inspiration for Success the thing I had in mind when I started it. But somehow I don’t know how, somehow I don’t know how to get through this dip.

So what is the main issue here and, maybe more important, how to deal with it. I think the main issue here is something like running a marathon, at least that is the sample that comes in my mind. And I am in the middle and have long forgotten how it all started and why I wanted to run it and a finish line is nowhere in sight. And maybe more important, I seem to have lost the idea of where the finish line even is. And on the way I lost my team and also my supporters are nowhere to be seen or heard. So pretty lonely out here, even though somehow I feel the need to continue, even though I have lost all sight and all feeling about where this is going.

So is this what Seth Godin calls The Dip? And yes, I bought the book, read the book, but I can’t find it at the moment, even though it came in my mind quite a lot of times recently. And I know it says something about not quitting when you feel like quitting. But I don’t feel like quitting, I just feel like this is somehow going nowhere, even though I know deep down that it is going somewhere as e.g. the number of visits go up constantly a bit and the number of pages goes up constantly and, contrary to the Dutch site, seem to be all being indexed by Google. So I am making progress and it is going somewhere, except I’m not sure if it is going where I wanted it to go and how I wanted it to go.

And yes, maybe that is where the answer is, that I kind of lost contact with the original goal or goals of the site. Like inspiring people for success. Or more exactly, giving people a real life success coach, whether in person or in the form of (the content of) this site.

And next to these goals also giving some kind of real time report of my road to success, writing while I am not yet successful so people who are in a similar situation as I am at the time of writing an item, would be given hope or inspiration to continue on their road to success. But the problem is that I didn’t really achieve the success or successes I am looking for, things like fame and money and things like that, the goals I intended to write about and the goals I still intend to achieve.

And yes, I achieved quite some successes, like writing every day, like making my bed every day, like sending a daily inspirational quote every day, like changing my attitude, my mindset into a more positive attitude and mindset. But the ‘I am there’, the ‘this is what it was all about’ is still not there and even nowhere to be seen. And one of my major concerns or weaknesses, I still do this all alone, still do this again alone. As I tried to create a team, a Master Mind group, as I considered that one of my biggest weaknesses, something like team building, being a team leader, being a team member, working in a team. And I still didn’t solve that, at least not in this site, with this project. and also not in my main business, my web development and internet marketing business.

And I still feel tired and some kind of lost, like most of my life, like during most of my career, even though I have learned a lot and even though I know many answers. But until now just living a joyful life has not become reality, the basic thing I think I have been looking for all my life. And I know it can be done as I see some people, or maybe even most people, do that. Just live their life, without the amount of suffering I feel.

And strange, while writing this somehow I feel answers are coming closer, success is coming closer. As somehow I changed something, the last two years. As I know I gained an awful lot of self confidence for example. And this writing has given me an awful lot of analyzing power. As e.g. while writing this post I can somehow feel all the stuff I wrote before and somehow learn from it, learn from my experience in a better way than if I hadn’t written it down here, in public, in this site/blog.

So is this an inspiring post? I am not sure. But it does bring me closer to the thing or the things I have been looking for, searching for all my life. And yes, indeed, things like holidays without worries, things like feeling rich, being rich, yes, with money. Things like having an expensive car like the Pajero I have in mind, and being able to drive it without worry. And having parties in the house an being able to just invite guests without having to ask them to pay.

So maybe, going back to how I started this post, I just have to continue going, ‘running’, like a marathon. And looking to other parts of this post, maybe I should redefine or visualize better or again where I want to go, what would be the exact end goal, what would make me happy and make me feel like I reached what I wanted to reach.

And yes, going back to you, maybe you should ask yourself what marathon you are running. And if you are still on track, if you still know where you are going, what finish you were planning to reach.

As somehow I guess we all have some kind of finish in mind that would make us happy. And maybe that finish is just much closer by than we think, as we just had forgotten how that finish looked like and where it was.

Finishing things

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This morning I decided to replace my ‘savings box‘ with another box with a cover, so I could put my not on top to avoid other people in my household (and myself) to use the money in it. And that replacement had been overdue for one or two days, as I prepared the box one or two days ago. So as I wanted to have a clean box I decided to take off the remains of a sticker that were still stuck on the box. And of course that took quite a bit more effort than I wanted or expected, so of course after one minute or so thought, well, what the heck, let’s just leave the rest of the sticker and just use the box anyhow. But somehow something inside me said that I should just finish my sticker removing process. As recently I encountered relatively quite often something about doing things right, no matter how small. And something like starting with small things.

Savings Box

And recently I am experiencing indeed how important it is to finish things, no matter what. And I knew that already, but I never really put a lot of attention to it. So looking back I presume I have left an awful lot of things ‘unfinished’, just because it was not worth the trouble or I didn’t want to spend the time on it. Or because it was ‘too difficult’. But recently I am much, much more serious on finishing things, on finishing things I started, on doing and finishing things I planned. And somehow it seems that is very important, as somehow I have slowly acquired a ‘finishing habit‘.

So this morning I decided to get the sticker material off the box, no matter what. And I did and it gave me a very good feeling. And yes, it still took more time and effort than I expected or wanted, even though in total it was maybe less than fifteen minutes. But I finished it, and somehow that felt very important.

So I can certainly recommend to start small with ‘finishing things’ and other things you want to do or feel like wanting or needing. As if you can’t finish small things, how could you expect to finish large or even huge things?

It’s okay

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The last one or two weeks I almost fully left my planning, my daily to-do list. And somehow it feels right, especially as I had not planned a lot, or at least that is what I thought.

And yes, somehow I still follow it. And yes, I will pick it up soon. But somehow I am still myself, my impulsive chaotic self that also knows what to do and not to do. And yes, I needed a break from that strict following of my planning, doing the things I planned to do every day.

And still, I have the feeling something changed, I changed. As somehow I still do the things I have planned to do. Except some things I didn’t do.

Sounds strange, but it feels right. And that’s what I learned from Abraham Hicks, that procrastination can be a very good thing. And I think it was, the last few days, weeks. And it will pass, and I will have learned, again.

Stopping?

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Somehow I am thinking about stopping writing every day, but somehow I also decided to continue to write every day. So I think the main issue is to make my posts, the things I write, interesting again, more interesting or just inspirational. As often I find myself, like now, late at night ‘having to’ write my daily posts, send the daily inspirational e-mail and update my gratitude diary. And this ‘have to’ often has nothing to do with writing for you, with the history and the purpose of this site, this blog.

So yes, while writing I know I am going to continue. As that’s just something I decided. But I have to find a way to make it more inspiring, for you as well as for me. As this is not really working, although I still believe that if I write every day for two years Google will start seeing this site as more serious. And that is also kind of the way I started to write, like ‘anything will do’ as long as it is original content and related to the site, to the subject. And in a way I still believe that is true, but I just want to do more and also enjoy it more.

But not easy with no real feedback (yet). And there may be various reasons for that, but I think still one of the reasons is that the site just doesn’t show up in Google enough yet. And another reason is that the content is just not interesting enough. And still another reason is that the tools are not good enough yet.

But yes, the longer I work on this project, the more I admire all those people, all those bloggers who write all these serious blogs. And write every day, or every week, or at least regularly. Because it is not easy to do that, even though right now I know I have developed the habit of writing every day, here and in my more personal Dutch blog. And the more I am working on the tools, or not working that much on them, the more I realize that also that is not as easy as I thought As today I had planned some small extensions, but it was late and I was only able to work very shortly on it. And I made hardly any progress, even though I worked in my normal working speed. So I also admire all those people making tools in other sites. As that often takes much, much more time and effort than one would think. As it seems it is with most things in life.

So yes, maybe I have been too hard on myself, maybe you have been too hard on yourself. As most things that appear so easy if we see other people do it, apparently effortless, come with a lot of effort and time spent. And come with developing habits. And come with persistence. And yes, I also believe things come easy, or relatively easy if you do it inspired, as Abraham Hicks teaches it. So yes, easy, kind of effortless. But not without effort and a lot of time and a lot of persistence.