Tag Archives: Small steps

Self analysis, question 32

Today feels like the right day to continue with the self analysis questions and today’s question is “Do you face squarely the circumstances which make you unhappy, or sidestep the responsibility?”. And I don’t like this question as I have the feeling that I am indeed sidestepping the responsibility for the circumstances that make me unhappy. As yes, I am mostly still very unhappy, even though tonight I felt okay, probably because I made some decision I did not like to make related to my DoctorsConnect project. And the strange thing is the decision makes me kind of feel relieved, even though I don’t really like all of the consequences that come with it, but at least I have the feeling now that I can move on where until today I felt stuck with one of the team members not performing.

So yes, it seems that facing the circumstances that make you unhappy (and dealing with them) helps make one feel better, as I am feeling a lot better. Still, there are quite some circumstances I don’t want to face, kind of avoid. And I am avoiding them because I don’t see any solution, at least not a solution that fits my goals and dreams. Still, the situation doesn’t get any better, so somehow I have the feeling I am doing something wrong.

And yes, again the word responsibility, a word that I don’t fully understand as often I keep hanging in blame, blaming the Universe or God for the bad circumstances I feel I am in.

So no, I don’t face the circumstances that make me unhappy squarely and yes, i guess I am sidestepping the responsibility (for the circumstances). And I always want solutions, but maybe I should just stick with the analysis for now, the admission that I don’t feel responsible for my circumstances or have all kinds of excuses to avoid responsibility for them.

Back home

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Paradise location I just arrived home, or actually a few hours ago, so it is much easier now to write my daily posts and send my daily inspirational quote email. And the last few days, last week I have thought a lot about posting daily here or not. And more often than not I didn’t post, as it was quite a lot of hassle with very bad internet on my smart phone and an internet cafe that was just a little too far away, or just not there as yesterday and the day before yesterday most of the day.

And it made me think a lot about doing things ‘whatever it takes’, as I could have done a lot more effort to indeed do my daily posts and send the daily inspirational quote. I could have put more load in my smart phone and take some more time to find better spots for internet connection or more time to really write a post. Or I could have asked friends with different cellphones, smart phones and tablets to let me use their devices. Or indeed walk or drive to an internet cafe or a location with a lot better internet.

But I didn’t, at least most of the time for writing my posts. And the main reason is that after more than two years of hard work,of discipline, of writing here virtually every day and sending an inspirational quote by e-mail virtually every day the number of readers and users has hardly increased after my first efforts to build some e-mail list from my own contacts, even though it has grown on its own for most of the time now. But very slowly, with maybe one person per month or so for the last few months.

And I know there are more ways, better ways to build audience. But until now I have hardly used that, as I believed (wanted?) the site to grow on its own through its content, through the things I write only, or at least mainly. And it didn’t.

And of course here come the Principles of Success in sight, as they may give the direction. But I have been persistent and stuck to my decision to write every day (and to let the audience grow through the content). And I desire more users, more readers, more listeners, more people to help, more people to inspire. And I took action, as I did quite a lot of things, like writing every day, but also building some awesome WordPress plugins.

But no, I have no Master Mind. And I don’t really have a plan (I think). And I did not really do anything autosuggestion.

And I realize I don’t really remember all Principles of Success right now, so it may be a good exercise to check this site against all Principles of Success and not only the ones that are relatively easy for me. As that is e.g. true for persistence.

But not today, as I think I have done enough for today. And I am not sure if Napoleon Hill puts enough emphasis on relaxation and rest and maybe flexibility. As those are also very important I believe.

Finding weaknesses

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I was very down this morning, mainly triggered by an e-mail I received yesterday, an e-mail with an attachment I was too scared to open. And with in mind that with that kind of state of mind I wouldn’t go anywhere I just decided to wait, do nothing, based on the ideas of the Law of Attraction. But as a human is not built for doing nothing finally I decided to play the mp3 version of the CD about guided breathing from Allan Sweeney (not sure if the CD on that page is the same as my mp3 file) I once found. And normally I follow the instructions on that CD, but this time I mainly bobbed along just listening to it as I know it has a calming effect on me.

And amazingly, from my earlier state of mind, listening to the CD calmed me quite a bit, even so much that after that I started reading again in Think and Grow Rich, something that often helps me get going again. And I ended up at the end of the last chapter, the chapter about the Six Ghosts of Fear, as that is what I am working on right now. And reading that I was thinking about the results of the self analysis I have been working on for the last weeks here in public. As I understand the purpose of the self analysis, the self analysis questions is to find weaknesses and cure them. And that is something I didn’t really work on until now I think. And it is something about controlling your mind and I still didn’t master that.

But still, how to get from a negative mindset to a positive? And how to get from negative circumstances to positive circumstances? And how to shield your mind from negative influences, either by yourself or by others?

Maybe I should just set that as some goal in my daily planning, to write about that, do something about that. What about you?

Self analysis, question 25

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My desk I was just thinking I have a smartphone now so I can make photo’s, something I longed for for quite a while as before I regularly wrote posts where I would want to add photo’s about things I was writing about, like the view or the house or the surroundings or the water system. But since I have a camera (through this smartphone) I didn’t see any need for posting photo’s with any of the articles. Strange isn’t it? So even now I wouldn’t know what would be an appropriate photo for this article as I am still working my way through the self analysis questions, but who knows where this article goes, so maybe I’ll add something. And if not I am quite sure in the future there will be many occasions where I could add photo’s. Or maybe just make a photo of my desk right now?

And strange to see how technology evolves, as I installed Dropbox on my smartphone and allowed it to put photo’s I am making straight ‘in the cloud’. So while writing my photo’s are being copied from my smartphone to the internet to my computer, so they go a long way while the devices are just next to each other. And that makes me think about distance as recently I saw some shows on TV about the Universe. And the Universe is huge, meaning reaching anything even with the space of light is still very slow, where for humans the speed of light is unimaginably fast. So yes, in a way the distance my photo’s just traveled are very small compared to the size of the Universe, almost the same as the distance between my smartphone and my computer. Where to me the distance the photo’s traveled is enormous, as they probably traveled out of the country and back into the country, maybe even through the United States, which is fifteen thousand kilometers away.

Anyhow, that is not what I wanted to write about as I wanted to write about “Do you have a definite major purpose, and if so, what is it, and what plan have you for achieving it?”. And while reading this question I can straight away see a relation with the photo of my desk, as you may see that there are some photo’s around my desk that represent things I want to achieve. And on the window on the other side, the direction I am looking at, there are more photo’s and they are all related to my definite purpose or things I want to achieve.

So yes, I do have a definite major purpose and until now I decided to keep it to myself as I consider it something private, even though some friends may be able to guess what it is. And maybe you are able to guess what it is or could be as sometimes I make some statements about it in this site. And strange, as I always think I don’t have a plan how to achieve it, but somehow I have as there are things written in my definite purpose document I always relate to, so somehow my definite purpose is slowly being cut up in smaller peaces that are more easy to handle.

And funny, looking at the photo, as Iwa is sitting on the chair in front of them and she is the one I was thinking about when thinking about making photos with my smartphone and posting them in this site or my Dutch blog. So again, the subconscious mind or Infinite Intelligence seems to be at work here, tonight.

So what is my definite purpose about? Well, simple, about love, romantic love. And about sharing that in the world. And in order to achieve that I need money and fame. And I also found out that I just want to be rich, really rich and enjoy that. So somehow I also fitted that in. And somehow also things like giving are part of it, and being patient.

And yes, the strange thing is that since I started with that document, wrote the initial version and later refined it, somehow I am living it, somehow I am getting closer to my goals, to my definite purpose. And while writing this is that somehow Infinite Intelligence is helping me and answering one of my desires in my desire document. As one of my requests to Infinite Intelligence in that document is to help me with planning, as I consider planning one of my weaknesses.

So again, while writing this article I see my desire document unfold, come to life.

God is great! Thank you, Lord.

Forgiveness

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Forgiveness or forgiving is something I still don’t understand and it seems to be a major skill if you want to live a happy life. Ah, Wikipedia starts with something like ‘victim’, so there must be a victim if forgiveness is applicable? Ah, and it seems for forgiveness you must acknowledge wrongdoing. And mostly I don’t acknowledge wrongdoing, so maybe that’s where my problem with forgiveness. As somehow I believe everybody in the end is just good, tries to do the best thing. So if that is true, how can something be wrong?

And yes, a while ago I understood more about what is in the Our Father. As I read the version of the part “And forgive us our trespasses,as we forgive them that trespass against us”. And I realize you can’t avoid doing wrong to other beings or things. As when you just walk, you step on I guess millions of living things like bacteria and you may just kill a lot of them. And you can’t do anything else, as even when you sit or sleep you still do the same. And when you eat you virtually always eat living things, so something has to die for you to survive. So these things are not wrong in an absolute sense or for you and me, but they are certainly wrong for the being or thing you are ‘acting upon’.

So I read somewhere it is a good habit to apologize, ask for forgiveness for those type of things, even if they’re just part of life and you can’t avoid them. As you are doing ‘wrong’ to something else.

So well, even if I think nothing is ‘wrong’, I can still ask for forgiveness and yes, of course I hope I will be forgiven for those things.

Maybe that thinking is a good start for thinking about the things I am doing wrong, and realizing better how forgiveness works and why it is needed or good.