Tag Archives: Success

Fake it

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I know I often put my (bad) moods here. And somehow I know I “shouldn’t” do that as basically Inspiration for Success is business. And business is business and should serve customers, regardless of, yes, of what? And yes, I want to inspire people, inspire you. For success or something. Or maybe happiness. But should I fake my moods? I’m not sure, as to me that would feel like being dishonest. And while writing this I remember my promise that I want to achieve my success in the open. And be open about what’s happening to me. But yes, it’s not very inspiring sometimes, or even often, my daily posts. Even though I normally try to make something inspiring or good out of it at the end, give some kind advice or thought or so.

So yesterday I was watching America’s next top model and was watching the feedback, the criticism of the jury to the candidates, especially one candidate. And it seemed that this candidate just had had a bad day or something. So here performance had not been that good. And the advice was that in that kind of situation she should just fake it. And it kind of hit me, as the jury had a point, especially related to success, success in business. As I notice more and more that if you want to reach the top in business, you really need to be good, no not good, perfect.

And it can be done. As every (Hollywood type) movie appears perfect to me. As are high quality dance shows, where everybody is in sync. And I realize more and more that that is just about practice and being good. And there are no second chances. It just has to be good, even though of course I know many things are edited. But yes, being a dancer, you wouldn’t want to hold up the whole group by not performing ‘perfect’. And if course it’s OK things go wrong every now and then and that you make mistakes. But in the end, the result needs to be perfect. As it can be perfect as many performers, magazines, movies and products show.

But there is a weird paradox here, as in the same America’s next top model we always here about some people, some photo’s there is no emotion. And that is NOT considered good. So could you fake emotion? I don’t think so. And somehow you shouldn’t. But maybe that’s where teamwork comes in, like show you emotion to the team and the team will help you create the perfect result no matter what. Or could you really fake it? I’m a bit confused now.

And somehow I know the answer, as a performance or product could and should indeed be perfect. Something like you really want it, desire it. And on the other hand it should be mixed with emotion, your real emotion, your real state of being, whether happy or sad. And yes, I know that can be done, as no matter my emotional state, if I’m in flow I can still do nice work, produce something, produce something nice, forget about everything.

And I’m sure you can also, so again, it’s all about state of mind, finding the right state of mind.

Courage

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I wanted to write about a bad movie I watched tonight. About how much courage, and yes, i guess persistence it takes to have such a movie, any movie made.

But just now, just before writing this post I got a very negative “I don’t want to receive any messages anymore” from a family member. And it hurt a lot, it still hurts right now. Because yes, I just added e-mail addresses to the mailing list for my daily quote. Just to ‘get started’. And of course I know that’s not done. Of course I know that’s kind of spamming. But I thought I had to start somewhere. As I know a site like this, a project like this takes time to attract visitors, takes time for the right people to find it, takes time for people signing up for the daily quote and other things we have in mind. And I just tried to speed up the process a bit. Anyhow, it doesn’t matter what are or were my reasons to add people to the mailing list.

But what hurt me today was that the message sounded so negative. With three exclamation marks at the end. And the person sending it must know the messages come from me, from my project, as the message was in Dutch, while the site and the quotes are in English. So what hurt me was that this person has received my daily quotes for months now. And didn’t complain or asked to be unsubscribed, where at the end of the message there is a line that just indicates to reply if you don’t want the messages anymore. And if I, if we receive such a message, and we received quite some, we immediately mark the e-mail address as ‘unsubscribed’.

So yes, they often say that what a person says to you says more about the person than about you. So this person, this family member has possibly been irritated with my messages, with my behavior, with my situation for a long time or something. Or he or she has or had some issues himself or herself. Or the quote of today hit something or something like that.

But it still hurt, getting a message with such a negative tone after having sent, having received so many daily quotes and some newsletters. Especially from a family member, where I fully felt abandoned by that side of the family last year, when I didn’t know what to do or where to go anymore and considered killing myself.

So yes, I have already been deciding to leave the family behind, to let go. To let go of my mam who I tried to call every week, but who, for the last half year or year or so never called me, even after I told her a few weeks ago that I miss her calling me (not sure if someone told her about this post, but amazingly she called the day after I wrote this post). Especially as she always says her children are the most important, well, ‘things’ in her life. But it doesn’t show. And let go of my sister, who asked me to not contact her anymore, not send SMS, not call, not send e-mail, nothing. Just because I made a mistake, where the mistake was a similar one to i guess the one she made quite some time ago.

So what about the movie I saw tonight, the bad movie. And it was the move Dragon Wolf. And why was it bad? Well, it appeared to be some kind of fighting movie and I don’t like fighting movies. But my partner does, so he bought it, brought it tonight. So i decided to join watching it to create some quality time together, just sit together on the couch and watch a movie, as both of us had been doing our own things during the day and had hardly seen each other.

And just after it started it appeared to be even worse than I expected, as the actors didn’t say their lines in a natural way and the whole thing just appeared to have been written and played very ‘cheap’.

Anyhow, as I still intended to have some quality time with my partner, at least be together after having been separate for most of the day, I decided to continue watching it, even after my partner already indicated that he (also) didn’t like the movie and even considered watching something else.

But while watching this bad movie, bad script, bad acting, cheap production, etc., etc. I started to realize that any movie, even this ‘bad’ movie, has been made using the Principles of Success as described by Napoleon Hill. And that any movie, including this movie, can be considered a success just because it has been made and published. You see, I realized that also this movie started with a thought, a thought from someone who wanted to make this movie. And somehow he or she managed to create a team to make this movie, write the script, organize the making of it, creating all the stuff that is needed to make a movie, hired the actors, found a budget to produce it, etc., etc. So with knowing what i know now there must have been quite some patience, persistence, heart breaks, defeat, etc., etc. involved in the making of this movie. And it was made and produced and published.

So yes, slowly I started to realize that no matter how ‘bad’ I considered this movie to be, at least the making of it, the publishing of it could be considered as a major success. And while writing this it may even be more difficult to make a bad movie with unknown actors and inexperienced directors and production staff than it is to make a nice Hollywood type movie on a large budget with all the people and resources that would be available for such a thing.

Back to the Future I And i also realized, not only today, but for quite some time already, that e.g. the first movies of Steven Spielberg were not that good, at least not to current standards. As I happen to like the Back to the Future trilogy and looking at them now those actors are not that good. Or the whole thing was also made on a budget that was just not enough or something. Or some key people, maybe even Steven Spielberg himself, were not that experienced yet.

So yes, while watching this movie I at least admired the courage and everything else this person, or Master Mind group, had been able to achieve.

And the story I guess was not that bad after all, even though I still don’t fully understand it.

So yes, let’s applaud for all those people having the courage to do something, make something happen, even though the result is not that perfect. At least they tried and made it. And you and I sometimes don’t.

Comparison

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Jealous

I notice more and more that I am jealous on many people, especially famous and rich people, and recently even something like on anybody who has a job or some kind of (decent) income. And as I often read to not compare yourself with others and as jealousy is considered a negative emotion I am thinking about those things a lot.

And one of the things I was thinking is how happy those rich and/or famous people actually are. And how often they are happy or considered successful. And indeed, if I would want to change with them.

But most I am thinking about especially actors that my image of them is certainly not true and that there are probably only a few actors who are really successful most of their lives. And people may be successful or happy with their (acting) job or with their business success, but often I also read about their problems in relationship and/or problems with their children and such.

And being really famous probably means you need security 24/7, even if you don’t have a job. And of course actors jobs are temporary, as movies are relatively short term projects and TV series mostly don’t last for more than a few years or seasons.

So I was thinking to make this more real and make a list of people who I consider are successful and/;or people I’m jealous with. And then maybe do some research and try to figure out if they are really more happy than I am.

And I was just shocked finding some, probably based on research, figure that you can only influence happiness for only 40% yourself and that the remaining 60% is defined by character or circumstances. Something to look into I guess, because I thought happiness (and success) was just a choice, relatively independent on character or circumstances.

Famous and rich people

So let’s make the list of famous and rich people I am jealous of. For now in random order, with some comment if I know some more about them:

Leonardo DiCaprio: very famous actor, famous since relatively young age. Probably very rich. Considered a very good and successful actor. Seems to have problems in relationships.
Donald Trump: very rich and somehow famous public personality. Came from a rich family and continued his fathers business as far as I know. Has problems with relationships and has been bankrupt at least once.
Andrew Carnegie: very rich ‘sample’ of Napoleon Hill. Don’t really know something about him, especially that he was one of the tycoons when ‘America was built’.
Oprah Winfrey: very rich and famous TV personality. What is she doing different from me (and you?). Fully don’t understand why she is where she is. Her personality?
Justin Bieber: very famous singer at very young age. As far as I know he started singing, performing at very young age. I presume and as far as I know his mother ‘pushed’ (or helped?) him to get where he is now at very young age. Seems to have quite some personal problems, e.g. with girls/relationships.
Matt Damon: famous actor. As far as I know he had his struggles to become a famous actor, but as far as I know he realized his being famous at relatively young age.
Rick Harrison (Pawn Stars): seems to be quite rich from his business (that his father seems to have started) and now famous through his TV performance in Pawn Stars on History. Interesting story in Wikipedia though about Rick Harrison trying for four(!) years to get his shop in a TV show. So some dreaming and persistence involved. Or maybe even a lot. Divorced twice according to Wikipedia, so not so lucky in relationship/marriage it seems.
John Travolta: famous actor. Is older than I thought. Seems to have had quite some ups and downs in his movie career. Main issue in his life I guess is the loss of his son, where as far as I know the loss of a child is the worst thing that can happen to a human being. He also lost his first wife and seems to have (had) some marriage problems with his second wife. He owns several planes so must be quite rich.
Bill Gates: the face of Microsoft and is one of the richest people on earth. As far as I know he is more of a visionary than a business man and I feel some connection with him in also being a bit a visionary and (maybe?) technical. Still wondering how he made it so far and I didn’t even really take off. The right time, the right place and the right people? There must be more thinking of the Principles of Success. Also older than I thought.
Steve Jobs: for me especially important as he seems to thrive on being charismatic. Had his ups and downs, but as far as I know financially never as bad as I have and had. Had his ups and downs business wise though which must have hurt him badly. Struggled with cancer and finally died from it. Was older than I thought, but died relatively young.
Al Pacino: don’t know much about him. Always think his name is fake, but I’m not sure.
Jon Voight: always liked him, but weird to me that he is not so handsome. But why would an actor be? Quite some serious family problems, so happy?
Steve Buscemi: the ugliest actor I ever saw in movies. And I guess the actor I admire most, as he turned his looks into an asset playing roles that really fit his looks. I guess I takes courage to do something like that and I cannot imagine it must have been easy for him. And weird, until just now I didn’t even know his name. Bravo!

Other actors, not so impressive to me, but worth mentioning:

Tom Hanks.

Some conclusions

As indicated in the introduction I have been thinking a lot about rich and famous people recently. And I still can’t figure out why they ‘made it’ and I didn’t. I can’t imagine they’re that much better than I am or you are. They can’t be all those people who work 24/7, work hard, are persistent beyond all means, etc., etc. So what is it? Is it attitude? Is it still something like Law of Attraction? Is it indeed this ‘break’, this opportunity they saw or had? Is it this person they met? Is it the location they were? Do they have a different personality? Or is it still something like luck?

I’m still not fully sure what it is, but I’m sure they’re all not that different from you and me. So maybe persistence is still the biggest thing and I’m going to find out. With this site, this project I’m more and more determined to figure out how all those people I consider famous and successful and I’m not are where they are now. And how they stay there.

And yes, another thing I found out and see more and more. There are an awful lot of famous and rich people around. Not like ten or twenty, but hundreds or thousands or even ten thousands. And rich people there are even more. So there is room out there and it is possible to get there, also for you and me.

So what would I write?

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Leondardo DiCaprio Today’s quote made me think about what success means to me:

“Define success on your own terms, achieve it by your own rules, and build a life you’re proud to live.” – Anne Sweeney

And it brought me back to my history, where success just meant like finding a job (and I was supposed to have a good job as I’m quite intelligent) and just work and live a happy life, live the life I knew as a child and that was pretty OK with me. How different did my life go, but maybe that’s just how life goes.

So this quote of today made me think of how I would define success today. And I think I wouldn’t define it much different than when I was a child, when I grew up. And today I read this page about what ‘successful people’ do: 10 high performance habits that lead to success. And I know somehow those things are true, but it’s not the whole truth. Because I did win the morning, somewhere in my life. And I did do the hard things. And yes, maybe I didn’t embrace feedback. But I think I did learn from failures, although looking back maybe not enough. And yes, maybe I’m not good at choosing the right attitude. But I did do a lot, an awful lot of one more. And it didn’t work out mostly, so I’m very careful doing one more at the moment, or doing anything. And I think I have a purpose, although the desire might not be big enough or clear enough. And maybe I’m not recommitting every day. And yes, patience has not been my strongest side. But in the end I think I do not fear anyone.

So looking back at this I think I have not done that bad in those success habits. So I should have success. But I don’t. And looking at all kinds of other lists with similar ‘success things’ I think I’ve not done bad on those also. So what’s going on? What’s the secret? Why don’t I have what I think I should have, I’m supposed to have? Something is still missing, and there wouldn’t be so many websites and self help books and training and courses and what else if I were the only one. And it seems also that mostly ‘those who are already there’ benefit mostly of it. And good samples for me in the ‘self help industry’ are people like Esther and Jerry Hicks, Anthony Robbins, Bob Proctor, maybe Joel Osteen and there are many more. It seems they’re doing pretty OK and I guess they do. Or are they mainly keeping up an image? Or is it their personality? Do they have certain treats I don’t have, you don’t have? And the hard part is that it would be hard to ‘counter’ them. As they have made it and I have not. And somehow they have the power and I have not.

And some other successes I also don’t fully understand, where people seem to have achieved success at very young age, like Leonardo DiCaprio and Justin Bieber, although (young) people who succeed (early) in life seem to have one thing in common: having the right support from someone else, which I feel never had. But again, this is basically the reason why Inspiration for Success exists as I want to find a way to give everything that external support he or she needs.

And that’s what has been bothering me for a long time, that it’s easy to say what you should do or shouldn’t do or how to do it when you’re already ‘there’. But if you’re not there, you keep wondering what you’re doing wrong, at least I do. So yes, somehow I still intend to be ‘there’, probably through this website, this project. But as of now I’m not and I’m suffering quite a lot of ‘not being there’. And yes, somehow this is still the answer, that if I keep doing this, keep writing, keep pushing Inspiration for Success, no matter what, I’ll be ‘there’ one day.

But I’m not there yet, and that’s not always easy.

Alone

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So somehow today, and maybe some more time than I thought before, was an alone day. So I was searching for alone quotes and sent one. And I found another one for this post:

“if you wanted to do something absolutely honest, something true, it always turned out to be a thing that had to be done alone.” – Richard Yates.

So for example with this website, with the project Inspiration for Success, it still feels I’m alone, no matter there is a team. And somehow I’m not good with teams, with people, at least not in relation to projects, to achieving something (together).

And indeed, going back to Inspiration for Success, I have big ideas and big plans for this project and this website. But somehow, until now, I was not able to convey that, the whole idea to the team. And I know somehow I’m trying to do something virtually impossible, something weird, and it even changed and changes over time. And often it feels like I’m not the right person to do this, to make my ideas, my dreams come true, e.g. with this website, this project. As somehow I’m still not able to inspire or motivate people to do the work, to really actually do some more things.

And yes, maybe I’m the wrong person, maybe it’s the wrong team, maybe it’s the wrong time, maybe…

But still, something deep inside me says I should push through with this, try to get my message to the world. And I’m not even sure why or how, even though of course I also have all those voices in my head telling me what to do or not do like everybody seems to have.

So where to go from here? I have no clue actually. But maybe indeed I should use the ideas from the Law of Attraction and focus more on what I have in mind, what the end result should be. And not so much on how to get there.

And maybe this is still also the right post to tell my little story about a project I have been working on for a few days, a few weeks, and check that project against the Principles of Success. Or no, maybe indeed make that a page: sample application of the principles of success. But here I have a problem, as I don’t want to offend our Editor in Chief, who made a stand for delivering quality pages. So the link I have put may not work yet as a page has to be approved by our Editor in Chief.

So yes, somehow I’m trying to do something honest and true with Inspiration for Success. And it seems indeed that it is something I may have to do alone, somehow. As I can’t do it alone and don’t want to do it alone. But maybe indeed being the leader somehow means you are alone and you have to do it alone, even if there is a team supporting you.