Tag Archives: Feeling

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Well, so today one of our internet connections was restored. And it was done by someone I know and who works for Globe. And he did and had done quite some effort and it seemed he had bypassed some procedures and stuff. And the weird thing is that after we had checked if it was all working, as officially it was not really supposed to work, I felt relieved and didn’t feel anything anymore about all the good intentions I had about improving the world and large companies and such. As my problem was solved and I could just continue as usual. So yes, I was very happy, but it was also a very weird feeling that I had nothing to do anymore as my problem was solved. So gone were all those sleepless nights, all those visits to internet cafes, all those things I couldn’t do properly for customers as I had no proper internet access.

But then I said to myself I shouldn’t give up. As what happened here the last few weeks was exactly what I think should not happen with anybody dealing with a large organization. And it was weird as I had planned to start my draft letter to the CEO of Smart, my second letter as I did not get any serious answer to my first. And as I think that what happened to me should not happen to anybody. And as I think organizations, also large organizations, should serve humans and not the other way around.

Added February 23, 2014:

Just found some more, so maybe no wonder my letter was not answered: poor service Philippine Internet Service Providers. But I won’t give up and a second letter is in the making, to Globe and to Smart. As I think things in The Philippines should improve. Please let me know if you want to help or support my cause to improve things in The Philippines, even though recently thoughts come up to indeed leave, as things seem to be really, really bad here compared to the rest of the world. But leaving would mean giving up, so no, I won’t. I’ll go on trying to improve things.

But weird, as my problem was solved also my intention, my feelings related to improve the world seem to have gone. So yes, there is a reason for those things, for the things that happen to us, the negative things, the challenges.

As it makes us move.

Thank you Universe, thank you, for giving me those problems the last few weeks. And for giving me this feeling right now. So I know better what to do and not to do. So I can analyze why I do things and don’t do things. And why others do things and don’t do things.

Thank you.

Inspiring post

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Lately I’m a bit lost and confused. And when I am I often kind of stop doing things. And to get out of that often I write down things, make some schedule or to-do list. Or since I know about segment intending, I write down the next segments. Or segments for the day. And I even consider making monthly or yearly or lifetime segments. And doing that today, trying to make my day a bit more useful, feel a bit better, I created a segment IFS. And in this segment I am writing the English post for IFS. And I want to accomplish to write an inspiring post. And i want to feel that I wrote something useful.

So that’s why I titled this post “Inspiring post”. And so this is what the segment looks like:

Segment IFS.

In this segment I am writing the English post for IFS.

I want to accomplish to write an inspiring post.

I want to feel that I wrote something useful.

And the weird thing with this segment intending is that mostly, or maybe even always, I find afterwards that I indeed accomplished what I wanted to accomplish and feel like I wanted to feel. But writing it down so plainly now doesn’t make it easier, although maybe it is just inspiring what I am writing down here as this is really something that works and gives you some grip on your life, on your feelings when you are lost or don’t know what to do or are overwhelmed or so.

And I’m not sure about you, but I find myself often wanting to do too many things in a day. Like right now I would love to continue with the tools side of inspiration for Success, of this site, but I already planned quite a lot of things and one of the main things I planned for today is also some relaxation time. Some time tonight I want to just stop and feel free, feeling like I did the things I wanted to do, did the things that I am supposed to do from a spiritual point of view. As often I beat myself up so hard for where i stand, for who I am, for what I did or didn’t do.

And that just doesn’t make sense, as i’m just a human being doing his best, just like you. And somehow human beings have limitations they can’t bypass, even if they feel the want or need to. And somehow they are built to want that, act like that, bypassing their own limits.

And yes, that’s how humans are built, that probably even the purpose of human beings, passing limits and boundaries that realistically cannot be bypassed. But they did, and indeed prove day after day that something like impossible doesn’t exist.

Which makes me think of the quote “They didn’t know it was impossible, so they did it.”, a quote.attributed to Mark Twain.

Persistence again

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Happy Sun Well, today was about persistence again as it seemed that everything that could go wrong did go wrong, even until fifteen minutes ago.

And I am still wondering if this is what all successful people seem to say, that you just need to go on until you’re there, no matter what.

So right now I am kind of asking myself if I’m successful. And somehow I am, as I am writing this post which is something I wanted to do today. And I just worked a little on the tools page, the part of the site that is going to give value to the site in the form of some kind of service. And I did do some work today, also something I planned. And in the mean time my biggest desire, my greatest dream, the impossible thing that I wanted to happen seems to start happening. So yes, somehow I am successful.

But some part of the success is still missing and I have no clue how to get there. And that is still the financial success I am looking for. And that type of success has different stages, where as of the moment somehow my biggest issue is that I have debts that don’t suit me and that I never expected to have. And somehow I just had some kind of discussion about abundance with someone in Facebook where she was pointing out that abundance comes from cost cutting. But to me abundance is about things coming to you and that is quite the opposite to cutting, cutting anything.

And yes, thinking from reason and what everybody believes you would get richer financially by living within your means and indeed cost cutting if you are living beyond your means or want to save for the future. But thinking from the ideas of Abraham Hicks and the Law of Attraction cost cutting wouldn’t bring you anywhere, except from, indeed, cost cutting, not using stuff. And yes, also Napoleon Hill states that living beyond your means will get you in trouble, will be an issue on the road to success, on the way to financial success.

But looking at myself just working hard also doesn’t bring you anywhere in the end. I used to have some very good jobs and made quite some money, and yes, I saved a lot. And most of my life I have been very frugal and that also brought me to the point where I had quite some money in the bank. And in that period I also spent a lot, on holidays and all kinds of nice stuff.

But in the end it didn’t bring me anywhere. And looking back somehow I was going on ‘strength’, not on ‘feeling’. And from that feeling I went down. Yes, indeed, very slowly, but down I went. But recently I go more from feeling and with that it seems I am going up, no matter how frustrated I am with my financial situation. But up I went, at least emotionally and as a person.

So as of the moment I don’t know for sure what to believe, what to do, how to choose between abundance and cost cutting.

So looking forward to your thoughts.

Progress

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I just wrote in my Dutch, more personal, blog, where I also write daily and mostly that is the one I normally write latest as this site, the site of Inspiration for Success, and the related project, the related things I want to achieve in the world, with the world, for the world, are much more important to me, even though the start of this project, this site actually lies in my personal blog.

So I’m not sure what I should write about right here as my mind is a bit empty as I already wrote a lot. So maybe I should just stop here, stop now and maybe try later. Or may don’t try and just leave it like this.

So for now I’ll just wish you a happy day.

Music

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Recently I started playing music again, mainly because for a year or so now we have a sound system again after the other sound system broke down. And everything I use it I think of that I/we can’t actually afford it and that buying a 3D TV again was kind of stupid, but still, I enjoy the TV and the sound system a lot, or actually the sound system as I always liked to play music, loud music.

And recently I often play music from my student years, but also from the nineties, which I consider actually my best time as then I traveled the world and we went long weekends to Berlin and Paris and such. And somehow that was a good time, even though also then I had problems, especially during my student time I had big problems. And in my relationship, when I traveled the world, there was also some deep underlying problem that finally caused the relationship to collapse.

And playing the music brought back memories, together with just enjoying the music and some new insights like how much ‘organized effort’ is behind just one recording, behind one CD, behind a tour of a band. And how different times are now, how different I am now. And somehow I miss that time, as things were much clearer, rules were much clearer, life was much clearer. In the eighties and nineties I still had just my dreams on times getting better, getting better jobs, getting more money, things improving over time. And that was also my perception of life, that if you just did your best, if your intentions were (are?) good, that everything was just OK, everything would just be OK.

And right now I don’t know anymore. I don’t really know anymore what’s right and wrong. I don’t really know anymore what I’m supposed to do from a worldly point of view. As ‘work’ and ‘money’ or ‘wealth’ were supposed to be just a part of life, were just things you didn’t really think about, even though I had some bad experiences with work. But at that time my ideas didn’t really changed. I believed that if you just pushed through and just did your best, in terms of this site if you just followed the Principles of Success, everything would be OK, at least in the material world. But it isn’t it wasn’t. Somehow the rules changed. Somehow life is different now than at that time. And I still can’t figure out what and how and what I’m supposed to do or even could do to get those things back that I enjoyed and kind of dreamed about, still dream about.

And I have the feeling I’m complaining again as many people seem to experience with me. But that’s not my point. I’m just trying to find my way in life, just as you are trying to find your way in life and life doesn’t suit me, doesn’t fit me, as probably it doesn’t suit you, doesn’t fit you, although of the last of course I can’t be sure. As many people still somehow seem to fit in and don’t struggle as much as i do. But I’m not sure.

And my partner is always complaining that I’m talking about ‘me’. And other people also do. And what I’m reading in most articles and self help books and quotes is that you first need to focus on others, first help others. And that seems to work as most of the people writing that stuff seem to be successful, at least more successful than I am. But it just doesn’t feel right, as to me it mostly feels there is not enough coming back to me, that I’m giving and giving and giving and there is not enough coming back. That the balance is gone. So maybe indeed follow what some people in the same range of articles and blogs and quotes say, that you should also take care of yourself. Or think of what the bible state, love the other the same as you love yourself. It does not state love the other more than yourself or take care of the other more than you take care of yourself. And that’s what I often do, at least that’s how it feels to me. That I do more for others than I do for myself. And that I do more for others than they do for me, where I somehow deep inside believe there should be balance.

But while writing this I also think again about what was in my head when I started to write this article. And that was that when listening to my music tonight I realized that in that simple playing of music an awful lot of stuff is going back to me, is given to me. The effort of the writer or writers who wrote the song. The effort of the band or the singer to sing the song and play the music. The whole history of TV making, CD making, computer making, internet and whatever else is involved in playing this music from my hard disk. That all is available to me, is coming to me, coming back to me.

And that’s awesome. And at such a moment I want to give back. But then it seems nobody wants what I have to give, what I can give. And then I’m kind of back to square one in my thinking, in my guilt not being able to afford all those things. But on the other hand, it’s just there and somehow it’s given to me, no matter how and what. So better enjoy it.