Tag Archives: The Other and I

Everybody is normal

I just found on the internet someone telling about being bipolar. And I read about him having been confined in some kind of institution. And while reading the Wikipedia article on bipolar disorder I recognize things of myself. E.g. I guess most people might think my ideas about this website and my goals with it are out of the ordinary. And I guess they are. And knowing me and reading my posts you may read about me being desperate sometimes. Also people have considered me having Asperger Syndrome or something. And yes, as far as I know many people consider me as being introvert, another box being put in. And yes, I am gay, another thing people may like or not like, but again, yes, it puts me in a box.

But what is this, that ‘we’ put each other in boxes. What is this that ‘we’ try to ‘cure’ everybody who has treats that are out of the ordinary. Or at least somehow ‘mark’ people with certain treats and have some positive or negative opinion related to it, e.g. if someone is gay.

And I don’t have all the answers, as someone killing people because he has some ‘disorder’ I wouldn’t know what to do with except indeed probably locking him or her up in a place where he or she can do no harm to other people. And one of the major treats someone can have I don’t have any clue of how to deal with is someone being pedophile. As I guess for most people the sexual urge is one of the biggest drivers in life, one of the highest needs to fulfill. And being gay I know that sexual orientation is just something you ‘have’, at least for me it’s just a feeling, it’s just something that’s part of me and that feels like being unchangeable, feels like just ‘being part of me’, feels like it belongs to me.

So somehow I have thought a lot about being a pedophile. I presume when you are a pedophile you just also have their sexual orientation, just like me or you. So of course you would want, need to express that as I presume it’s the same type of urge most people have and if not met it would cause a lot of problems, at least it does for me. But yes, I agree, having sex with children in a way a pedophile would need does not fit my ideas of what is appropriate, what ‘should be’ as I indeed believe children should not experience sex in that way. But where does that put a pedophile? In my opinion in quite an impossible situation as he or she cannot express his or her sexual feelings in an appropriate way, although as far as I know there are also situations or cultures that would allow the behavior, the grown ups having sex with children.

Anyhow, that’s not really what I wanted to write about, about pedophiles, but for a long time already I have in mind to raise some understanding, sympathy, empathy for people being pedophile. Because their situation must be awful, making it virtually impossible to live a proper life.

So what did I want to write about? Well, I’m not a psychologist or something, but it seems that we try to put more and more ‘marks’ on people, like how they differ from the average Joe. And if it has some kind of inconvenience for society or other people we often want to ‘treat them’, cure them. But why? And who decides what’s normal and what’s abnormal. And why would we want to treat them or mark them as ‘abnormal’. As one of the first things I learned in biology class, as far as I remember our biology teacher even started the whole subject with it: everybody is abnormal, as everybody is different. That’s how we are built. That’s how the world was built.

So let’s be careful putting each other in boxes, in trying to change each other. Let’s first see what’s really there and appreciate it, in the other, the other person. And also constantly monitor the line between ‘normal’ and ‘abnormal’, where in the last case I mean when to decide when to ‘treat’ people or in the worst case lock them up. As in the end everybody is normal, as being different is part of being normal, being human.

Leadership

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So I had this idea. And I know an awful lot about some things. And I have a lot of experience with some things. And I started this website. And I envisioned and envision how it should be. And then I knew i needed a Master Mind, which I also wanted to be a team and a board for Inspiration for Success. So I found five people, or some people found each other. Or whatever.

And as it is online an we don’t know each other all personally it is not easy to move. Maybe simple, but not easy. And we don’t have money. And most team members don’t have time, at least no time for this project, meaning to me, with what I know, don’t give priority to the project. And I can imagine. As they don’t have the picture as I have it in mind. And they have their own ideas. And somehow I’m trying to do something democracy, but that doesn’t work. And i know dictatorship also doesn’t work, or at least I don’t want it.

But still, the origin was my dream, my idea. And somehow it appealed to the team members. And somehow they also want to make it work, be part of it.

So the challenge right now is to combine all those ideas and expectations and dreams into something that would inspire everybody in the team. Because there is work to be done, but i only want it done from inspiration, not even from motivation. So how do other leaders do that/

More planning and decisions

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From the beginning of this site the idea was part of my ‘giving’ to achieve the success I’m looking for fully in the open, so this project, the building of the website Inspiration for Success and starting the project Inspiration for Success would be a live, real life, example of achieving success following the principles of success as described by Napoleon Hill. And somehow achieving the success I’m looking for, like receiving one million dollar, does indeed come with the type of things Napoleon Hill describes in his book Think and Grow Rich.

But the whole thing is starting to make sense, as e.g. except from the start I missed a lot of the desire, which as far as I can figure out goes back that I somehow lost the belief of earning or getting (or receiving) any significant amount of money. And main reason why I’m not where I want to be related to all kinds of goals and results I described has obviously to do with planning, especially proper planning, making flawless plans. As far as I can figure out also I may be too much of a dreamer and not realistic enough in goals and especially plans related to these goals, so my team does not believe where we are going and how we are going there and that we will get there.

I consider a major achievement though applying the principle of the Master Mind, where I tended to mix team and Master Mind. And as far as I can figure out now a Master Mind is something else than a team or a board as I had and have in mind for Inspiration for Success. What I experience now is that the team mainly acts as a Master Mind, in this case especially giving feedback on things I want where they consider it often unrealistic. And the Master Mind is bigger, as today I received an e-mail from a ‘hidden’ Master Mind team member that I didn’t like. But what was said in it was probably true and is valuable feedback, so certainly ‘Master Mind’ feedback. The Master Mind in my case often puts me back to reality, to being realistic, even though Napoleon Hill also kind of confirms that if you really want something extraordinary, something new, you may want to stick to it, no matter what. However, of course reality check, especially on plans seems to be important, especially if you’re a dreamer like me.

Persistence also seems to be something else than I thought as I think I am more stubborn than persistent. And according to Napoleon HIll, mentioning Henry Ford, there is nothing really wrong with being stubborn, but I guess it’s useful to at least know the difference and find a way how to convert stubbornness into persistence. In my case I found out patience is an important keyword quite some time ago and it is being confirmed by the team.

So why did I call this post ‘more planning and decisions’. Well, the project definitely needs better planning as basically there is no real practical plan. And there are some decisions I did not make yet, like how to deal with my daily post related to creating proper, researched, well written content. At least two team members keep reminding me of the need for better content and they are right. However, i also don’t want to give up on my daily post, which somehow is important to me. At first for SEO, like becoming displayed as news, but also as it is kind of the basis, the origin of the site.

However, I’m not sure if the team means i should stop with my daily post as I doubt that would really harm the site. The issue may be that I could better focus my time on quality content than a ‘daily post’ just for the sake of a daily post. Well, just ask i guess.

My desire document

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A very important date in my desire document was September 10, 2013. Maybe the most important day of my life, at least it was when I wrote the initial version of the document which must have been September 10, 2012. And the date passed with not much feeling of success, which was kind of an anti-climax. But maybe it was the same thing a sportsman feels when he passes the finish and just knows that he made it, that he could have made it, and is just tired of the game he played. Because somehow I made my goal, a goal that was impossible at the time of writing. So I don’t feel too excited about having achieved my goal, at least in the spirit of the goal although I reached the goal litterally as I wrote it. So a big success, but there are too many things in my life that I desire to be different from what it is now, so I guess, I know I don’t sound excited right now. But what i wanted to share is that I am starting to see the power of a desire document and that I am starting to believe that I can indeed achieve all the things that i wrote there in the spirit of the Principles of Success.

So several things in my mind and the first is that I want to write my personal desire document for this project. And going back to the origin of the project I have to write it myself and it has to be mine, it has to be a personal desire document. And i am struggling now with my leadership role. As I kind of don’t want it, even though one of my desires is to stand in the spotlight. And somehow I always wanted to stand in the spotlight and I think never really stood, but I am starting to realize what price I, you have to pay when you are standing in the spotlight. So I am also starting to understand more of the problems leaders are dealing with. It looks so nice being famous and being rich and yes, I still want to be that, both. And it’s becoming a real desire now. But I’m also starting to see that there is a price to pay, a price that may be bigger than I thought, bigger than I expected. And so yes, a leader also deserves ‘more of the pie’ than the followers. I can see and feel that more now, even though that’s not really what I want anymore, having more than others, which I also always wanted and what may have blocked my way to riches, to abundance.

Anyhow, today felt like the time to make a desire document related to my desire to have one million dollars through this project. As recently I also went back to the origins of the project which was basically what someone called ‘a get rich quick scheme’. And I guess he was right. And I am very thankful for him saying that to me. As he made me realize what I was doing and I guess it was not really what I wanted. So yes, all adversity carries within it the seed of a greater benefit. I am also seeing the truth of that now, as if this person had not made that remark to me the project would not have been where it is now.

So let’s get to work and take the leadership role by writing my first draft of the desire project for my short term monetary goal with this project. And it may still be a ‘get rich quick’ desire. But I don’t care anymore. As I am also starting to see that there is nothing wrong in wanting something, no matter what other people say. And also the origin of the project and things like ‘the world likes success’ even needs me to be rich. As that’s what success means to me related to this project. That is also the success as described in Think and Grow Rich.

And yes, I keep kind of apologizing for wanting a lot of money. As I am still kind of thinking like the people on the way to poverty. But I want out of it and yes, I also want you out of it. And indeed, me being rich doesn’t harm anybody, doesn’t harm you. On the contrary. Money grows on trees and we have been taught the wrong things for quite some time. The world is abundant, just look around you. And somehow we’re blocking that with all our fears and negative ideas about money.

And I would like to share more of this process of mine, where my current thinking comes from. But maybe it’s just a process and maybe that’s why the call it The Secret.

And keep in mind, about willing to give. I am giving away part of my privacy here. I am willing to state bluntly that I want one million dollars through this project, meaning from you, the people who I am trying to serve. But I’m starting to believe that’s ok, if you’re doing it the right way. But again, that’s about what probably all the rich people know and you and I don’t (yet) as we’re not rich. And if you are rich you will probably not reading this post, but if you are I’m also very happy to see your comments about what I am writing here.

Giving what you have

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Well, it seems that I’m still trying to give what I don’t have. And of course that doesn’t work. So how do I give what I do have and that would make other people happy? Maybe the most important thing I don’t understand is what I have, what I have to give. And related to that I’m trying to give what I need, what i want. But still, what I’m reading is that you have to give before you can get or receive. So maybe I just don’t understand that or misinterpret that.

I had some experiences though with giving something very small that made people very happy and giving very big things that don’t make people happy. Like what’s easy for my is difficult for other people. And while writing this I realize that there is some sentence in Think and Grow Rich that is just about that. Something like don’t measure things by your own standards.

So for me it’s pretty easy to write a post like this. Or do almost anything with computers. Or do things with networking and routers. Or drive a car. Or building custom made websites for which over the years I, together with staff, built a pretty amazing web development framework for.

And what I need and want is my partner loving me like I like to love him, have money to buy a car and invite people and travel and, well, i guess that’s about it. I don’t need so much. Ah, and yes, just have some money or a ticket to visit my mam, visit some customers in The Netherlands and maybe meet or find some business partners in The Netherlands. So the last may be easy for other people, people who might find it difficult to deal with computers and websites. Or drive a car or something. Or being loved, being hugged.

So how to make that happen? How to find the people that need what you have and easily can give and can give what you need or want? Ah, yes, that’s maybe where the money comes in. That’s why they invented money.

So maybe I’ll just look for people who need or want my services and have some money to pay for that. Maybe it’s that easy, although then you end up with sales and marketing and that’s just phrases, words I don’t like. Even though I know I can be pretty good in sales. At least if I believe in the product.

Well, inspiring, this post? Not really sure, but I guess it’s better than most of the complaining crap I often write.

So if you need a good search engine friendly website or some web application or your computer fixed up, at least the software part, just let me know.