Author Archives: Guus

Self analysis question 46

I am still very tired and not really in the mood to write anything, so I could either write a very short post like this or still continue with the self analysis questions. And I just decided on the last and today’s question is “What connection, if any, do you see between the people with whom you associate most closely, and any unhappiness you may experience?”.

And yes, the first thing that comes into my mind is that the person I associate with most closely, my partner, may be the cause of my unhappiness. And yes, I guess you would ask why I (still) allow that. And I often ask that to myself of course. And I have no real answer to that. Or actually I have a lot, but I don’t want to share that here. What I do want to share is that I am still not sure if this whole thing has anything to do with my partner (doubt?!). And I could share that it has something to do with the definite purpose I chose.

And I am thinking of other people I associate closely and I don’t really see any cause for unhappiness there, although I found that talking with my mam often upset me. But I think I am in the process of changing that.

And now I really feel tired and not really able to write anything sensible here. So I guess the best thing is to rest and sleep, even though there are some things I still want to finish before sleeping.

Self analysis question 45

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Ah, the self analysis question of today is one I don’t like to answer. As it is the question “If you believe that ‘birds of a feather flock together’, what have you learned about yourself by studying the friends whom you attract?”. But maybe this ‘trying to avoid’ means there is something important going on here, so maybe I am onto something if I answer this question carefully and analyze the answer.

And the reason that I don’t like this question is that I don’t have any friends, or at least that is how it appears to me. So when I answer the question I would have to answer that I don’t attract people as friends.

However, on second thought the question starts with something else. It start with whether I believe in the saying that birds of a feather flock together. And I am not sure if I believe in that. Or actually I don’t, as I think I believe more in the idea of ‘opposites attract’. As e.g. my partner is, or appears to be, the complete opposite of me. Although I believe that is also not true, as we may be more similar than I think as he is also pretty introvert and doesn’t have many real friends. And yes, he is very sociable and I am not, so he has many friends and I have not. But knowing him he probably also doesn’t have many or even any who really know him, whom he really shares everything with.

And I am not sure how to continue right now, as I am thinking about things like “what is a friend”? And to me a friend is someone you can share anything with, and I used to know people like that. And yes, I still know them, but I didn’t stay in touch as that is not easy from The Philippines and without money (to travel and visit them). As it is not easy to stay in touch through e-mail and Skype and such, even though of course modern technology has made it much easier to stay in touch with people far away. But meeting in person and meeting regularly is still different.

And yes, it worries(?!) me that I don’t seem to have any friends, as I believe friends are very important. And I have been thinking about this for quite a while and also have been trying to do something about it, but until now I have not really succeeded finding new friends.

Ah, and this is a tough one, this question, this post, as indeed there are some major issues here I may want or need to address. And yes, I guess it also goes back to my codependency, not able to share or show emotions or ask for help.

So let’s call it quits for today as I am also very tired and need some rest. But I may have something here to work on, some weakness to address I guess.

Self analysis question 44

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I decided to go back to the self analysis questions after some intermezzo with some other stuff. An intermezzo mainly because of our sick dog that was at the vet and that cost me a lot of time and energy. And this also may point to some weaknesses of mine: being quite emotional and only being able to focus on one thing most of the time, like focusing as if there is nothing else.

But let’s finish this online self analysis and today’s self analysis question is “Do you feel it your duty to share other people’s worries? If so, why?”.

And of course I have seen this question many times before, but until now I don’t fully get what it means, or what the answer would mean.

And the first thing that comes into my mind is that I don’t feel it my duty to share other people’s worries as everybody has his or her own life with his or her own worries. And no, I don’t think it is our duty to take over other people’s worries.

However, I do feel it my duty to understand other people and try to help them if possible. As in the end I guess we are here to help each other.

But no, still no real feeling related to this question, or it’s answer.

So today I think I’ll pass.

Paralyzed

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Yesterday I realized that for the last week or so I have been paralyzed with work, with the stuff needed to be done to achieve success. And the good news was that at least I really realized it, so I can do something about it. And it came to my mind that also Think and Grow Rich recognizes that you can be paralyzed. And in my mind is that the solution is to just start with something very small. Like with physically being paralyzed you could try with starting to move a finger, or even a part of your finger (no offense meant to people who are really paralyzed). And for me is just to restart my daily planning again, writing daily things I am going to do, something I couldn’t really get started for the last few weeks or maybe even months. And the good thing in life is also that you can just start again, all over again, no matter where you are or how stuck you feel.

So yesterday I started to write some little things for today. Just the things I had already planned in my head. And I added something for tomorrow, something very small and something with a lot of added maybes and such, but I added something work.

And the main thing I guess that made it feel different from earlier when I restarted the planning, like a few days ago I added some leaves of paper for additional days, is that I am really committed again to start it, restart it. So something I changed my mindset, my outlook.

And yes, I believe more and more also that you can’t force these things. There is something like Infinite Intelligence or God that needs to inspire you. Or something they call the Law of Attraction. Or something like desire.

So yes, please, do start, do start wiggling your finger or toe or whatever small body part when your body doesn’t feel like moving. But do start small and only do it when you feel inspired, as without inspiration or desire, no matter how much you want something and no matter how much action you put into something, it will only have effect when there is some positive force behind it.

The power of habit

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Ulla in recovery. Yesterday I skipped writing here and sending an inspirational quote, and with good reason I believe, as I was pretty tired and next to that ended up in the emergency room of a hospital because I had an asthma attack in the middle of the night and came home pretty late and pretty much affected by that.

And today I promised myself the rest of the day off after getting more clarity on the situation of our sick dog Ulla, something I was pretty much affected by most of the week.

But for quite a while I realize that I have developed a pretty strong habit of writing here every day and that no matter that I got a bit more flexible, to say it in a nice way, with it, it is pretty hard to skip as I have a pretty strong urge to do it, no matter how late or no matter how busy or tired I am.

So also today only a short post, but it is a post and I also sent the first batch of the daily inspirational quote and will send the second batch later also.

So yes, there is something to developing habits. They are hard to break (whether positive or negative, but I believe my daily writing here is a positive).