Author Archives: Guus

Sick or excuse

Well, yesterday I skipped, not only my blogs, my daily quote and my gratitude page, but I also missed my planning.

And yes, I could have done it. But in the end I didn’t, because I felt sick and exhausted. And spent most of the day in bed.

And i was a bit in doubt, as i am quite well on the way being very disciplined finishing my planning for the day. And this was even the second day in weeks now that I decided NOT to do (all) the things I planned for the day.

So I could have done it, and i guess that’s what some (successful?) people would have done. But it didn’t feel really good to do it as I really felt sick, tired, exhausted. But especially it didn’t feel inspired, inspiring.

And that’s what i miss a bit, or actually a lot. Or something like ‘the most’. Doing things in an inspired way, doing things as Abraham Hicks describes. Doing things in a way described related to the Law of Attraction.

And thinking further, this is exactly also what Napoleon Hill calls desire, desiring things, achieving things in an inspired way.

And i know I have missed this for quite a long time. And it’s kind of bothering me. And I’m not sure what to do about is, to ‘relight my fire’. And I wrote about it before, that I didn’t feel the desire (anymore).

And yes, I am working on it, reading stuff related to that. And every now and then reading my desire document again, yes aloud.

So somehow, yes, I’m getting closer. As I feel myself getting stronger. And more confident. And more capable of ‘learning’ those things, the things like planning and discipline.

So yes, somehow Think and Grow Rich brought me something. And it seems that kind of applying all of those principles, everything in the book, brings you closer. But I often wonder if so called ‘successful people’ don’t have these things more by nature. And why I have to struggle so hard. And why I’m still ‘not there’.

But time will tell. And yes, I’m getting stronger, more confident. And recently even more money came in. So somehow it works, somehow it’s starting to work.

So be confident. And persistent. And keep believing.

No matter what.

Applause

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I just saw the news conference of the prime minister of Malaysia making a statement about where Malaysian Airlines Flight 370 ended up. And I was very emotional just before the statement, when of course the news people made the story bigger and bigger and built some kind of climax. But my emotions were not of sadness or something, but of admiration, in the first place for the Malaysians, who in the last few weeks were confronted with something big, something that has never happened before, something that nobody could have prepared for, something that would already be big for a large Western country and somehow managed to handle all of this, handled all of this in a very professional way. And while thinking now my emotions were also emotions of sadness, as the Malaysians have been criticized so much. And I truly believe they didn’t and don’t deserve any criticism as I think they handled this whole situation very well, especially checking and rechecking facts before making statements while at the same time internally changing their investigation as the last few days we saw their search move to the area they made a statement about today.

And also applause for all those people involved in this search, where I have the feeling something like this has never been done before. So many countries and institutions in some kind of worldwide search for something lost. And for the people coordinating all this, presumably, again, the Malaysians. How in heavens name would someone be able to set up some kind of project team to organize this type of search in a month, let alone in days or weeks.

Well, nothing much more to say right now but:

Applause for the Malaysians.

IFS Tools

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One of my biggest dreams for this website was to create tools for people looking for success using the Principles of Success, so I did and create some: one for working on your definite purpose and one to check where you are on each of the Principles of Success.

So just login or sign up and check what this can do on your road to success.

Guilty

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I still feel guilty,especially about my financial situation and that I can’t stop my partner from spending money we don’t have, that should go back to where it came from. But somehow it doesn’t make sense, as looking back I wouldn’t know how I should have done it differently. And I didn’t make myself, at least that’s what I believe. So how can I be guilty? Something like how can a dog be guilty or how can a stone be guilty. Or even a molecule. So somehow we humans are different from anything else, although somehow dogs, animals can feel guilty as far as I know. And thinking further, guilt seems to be something like violating rights of others. As that’s what dog-guilt is about I guess. As I presume a dog only feels guilty towards humans, when he or she does something against the rules of humans, of the higher species, the higher power.

And thinking further again, guilt seems to be something like violating the rules of the group. So in that respect it is about the survival of the group. And I guess that’s what human guilt is also all about, the guilt we are taught to feel when violating the rules.

But then were does conscience come in? Is there also something like violating your own rules? But again, thinking about dogs and stones, does that make any sense?

And going back to my financial stuff, am I still doing harm? Yes, I live in a big house and I allow my partner to overspend, spend money that I borrowed, that I am responsible for. But the consequences of leaving the house are unimaginable. And I wouldn’t really know how that would improve things, although of course if the house my debts could be paid off and I would be clean towards my debtors. And I want to stay with my partner. And I know somehow he is blackmailing me and controlling me with anger, with violence.

But the basic problem is still income, other people willing to pay me, somehow, or pay me for what I do, for work I do. And somehow there are too many of ‘me’, too many people, too much capacity to do the things other people need, other people are willing to pay for.

So while writing I keep asking myself if I indeed should sell the house, pay off my debts and live in a cheaper place and live a cheaper lifestyle. And based on the rules I grew up with, based on the law I should do that. And even my conscience agrees with it.

But still something inside of me says that I shouldn’t do that. As it doesn’t really solve anything. And while writing this I am starting to think that it would make things worse. As it would mean somehow that I would give up, would never work again, would never do anything anymore.

Recognize anything?

Fair Usage Policy and more

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Unexpected visitors

So yesterday I was really happily surprised as at the end of the day some people of Smart were at the gate who turned out to be engineers of Smart, even though I was very suspicious hearing the word ‘Smart’. And yes, I had had some phone calls just before apparently coming from Smart, but I couldn’t really connect it to anything as I did not complain anymore recently to the customer support or something, although just around that time yesterday I tried to find a way connect to Mr. Llloyd Manaloto whose name came up quite frequently related to my search for people within Smart on the higher levels.

But as far as I remember the phone calls started earlier, so they must have been triggered by something else.

So suddenly there were three engineers from Smart at our gate, something that I believe should have happened long time ago, as especially in our location customer support and installation technicians probably would not be able to find a solution for the problems with our Smartbro internet connection.

Problem solved

And actually that’s what I wanted to start this post with: thank you sir Bryant, RE and Art for making this site visit and understanding what has been going on here and last but not least, probably having solved some problems with the radio signal.

Or problem not solved?

So yes, the problem was solved today. As last night I thought it was too late for the engineers to climb on the roof, even they were willing to spend some more time and effort to make sure I had Smart internet straight away yesterday, which was fully gone the night before. And while writing this that might have been the trigger, that without me knowing Smart is monitoring my connection and could see I had no connection anymore as it seems there is more going on within Smart than I know, probably based on my letters.

So was the problem solved? Well, in a way yes, as the radio signal did not pass the required values before and they do pass now. So don’t get me wrong, something was really solved and I’m happy with it. And it is even solved beyond expectations as right now the radio signal is within the required values.

Something doesn’t add up

But something doesn’t add up. Or actually two things don’t add up:

From 2006 to 2013 i basically didn’t have problems and a few years ago the system was even upgraded from 512Kb/s to a higher speed, I think even 2Mbit/s, but it could also be 1Mbit/s. And it seems nothing changed in the environment around the house.
The speed I have been experiencing lately is around 20Kbyte/s, with a peak a few weeks ago of 100Kbyte/s. And that’s about the same speed I am experiencing right now, although it appears to be slightly higher.

Related to the speed see below two images for the speeds I found with a speed test program while writing this post¹.

So it seems the effective speed I am experiencing right now is a little less than 512 Kbit/s. Which is far lower than the speeds I experienced after the upgrade until somewhere 2013. And the issue here is that it is quite a bit lower than it was before and also that Smart, or probably PLDT now, is selling.

What next

So what’s next?

Well, of course I am happy I have a stable PLDT/Smart internet connection again. But what still worries me, and this was also the whole starting point of e.g. the page Smart/PLDT limited unlimited, is that I have no clue where I stand with all this as somehow Smart/PLDT has changed the rules, especially apparently having applied a volume limit on existing unlimited plans. And they did it without informing me properly. And apparently I am also back to a 512Kbit/s speed where I thought I had 1Mbit/s or 2Mbit/s and also actually had.

And yes, legally I guess they are fully right and safe, although to me a volume limit is a volume limit and not fair sharing of internet bandwidth. But what they seem to have forgotten, and that is also what I was trying to convey to the Smart engineers who were here today, is that they lost my trust and, more important, someone who was really selling them, selling the Smartbro connection I had. As until last year I was a very happy customer who was recommending Smart above Globe to friends and business contacts. But right now, and the last few months, I have been complaining and complaining and complaining and am even writing about all this in a way that may very well damage Smart in the long term. And yes, they may even lose me as a customer, as the Globe connection I have right now is much faster, even though the Smart/PLDT internet infrastructure is better than the Globe infrastructure. Or I may look for something completely different, which I actually already started.

Principles of Success

So yes, this whole thing with especially Smart has taught me that Napoleon Hill is indeed right, that you first and foremost need to serve the people, serve your customers, at least if you want to be or become rich. Or stay rich looking at the sample of the Smart Fair Usage Policy.

And the sad thing is that this is all about a simple, standard internet connection that has worked for years and could have worked for years, should have worked for years, but where somehow greed (‘Fair Usage Policy‘ and apparently now a continuous speed limit) made a customer lose his trust. And it will take an awful long time to gain that trust back, although sir Bryant, RE, Art and Ronnie made a start with that yesterday and today.

To be continued.

¹Please note this is not a fully fair test as I am running some torrents who appear to have upload speeds of around 20Kb/s.