Tag Archives: Small steps

Baby steps

For quite a while I wanted to post again here, work on Inspiration for Success. But I just didn’t feel like it, couldn’t put myself to it. And that has been the case with many, many things. And I am still not fully sure how it all happened, but the patterns that created my life appear to be very, very deep and strong and not easy to change. And I am not  fully sure if this time I found something that can really help to change my life, improve my life, but the program of Codependents Anonymous at least has me made more aware of what is going on in my life. And made more clear what is my part and what is not. And what is my job and what is not. And somehow it is an extension of the ideas of Napoleon Hill, like e.g. the Twelve Step program mentions Higher Power where Napoleon Hill uses a similar concept and calls it Infinite Intelligence.

And it seems that without surrendering to this Higher Being nothing moves, nothing can be done. And also the ideas of Esther Hicks and ideas of many people and cultures and religious concepts seem to support, believe, that nothing can be done without God as humans understand God.

And I am struggling right now as I don’t feel like surrendering to a Higher Power, the steps 2 and 3 in Twelve Steps programs. But somehow it seems to be the only option as I can’t do it alone, can’t do it myself, whatever I am trying to achieve. And of course I can do things myself, like I created this site. But I can’t make it come alive like making people participating in building it, creating it. And I can’t make people read the stuff or use the tools I created. And I tried to force it as you can find in the site, but apparently that didn’t work. So somehow it needs the blessing and support of a Higher Power, like maybe anything we do needs.

So why did I call this post “Baby steps”? Well, it is one of the things of the Coda program, like when you are fully drained and exhausted you can just do some very little thing, just to get going. Also a concept I found in many places and you can even find it it this site. So this baby step is just creating a small post to let myself and you know that Inspiration for Success is still alive, that I didn’t forget it and still persist in making it work. But I know now I can only do that with the blessing and support of my Higher Power; and/or Infinite Intelligence or whatever name you have for that what is bigger than us, humans.

I messed up

I messed up lately with practically everything, especially with Inspiration for Success. I didn’t even send the daily quotes which I mostly manage to do, even if I am away. And I never expected this to happen, as I thought I had learned what was discipline and habit. But apparently I haven’t.

Not sure what is next, but at least I am writing again here.

Enough for today

Still hard, let’s say virtually impossible, to skip writing a post here. It appears that habits are really powerful.

However, I don’t feel like writing now as I am tired and also just don’t know what to write. So this habit is somehow useless, as I don’t see much use in this post, or at least in a post as short as I am planning to make it.

But still, in the mean time I arrived at the third paragraph and I even wrote something useful (about habits).

Question remains how to develop some more useful habits, or better habits that would bring me e.g. riches instead of poverty. As those things also must somehow be related to habit. Or at least it must be possible to develop habits for riches or turn poverty habits into riches habits.

Paralyzed

Yesterday I realized that for the last week or so I have been paralyzed with work, with the stuff needed to be done to achieve success. And the good news was that at least I really realized it, so I can do something about it. And it came to my mind that also Think and Grow Rich recognizes that you can be paralyzed. And in my mind is that the solution is to just start with something very small. Like with physically being paralyzed you could try with starting to move a finger, or even a part of your finger (no offense meant to people who are really paralyzed). And for me is just to restart my daily planning again, writing daily things I am going to do, something I couldn’t really get started for the last few weeks or maybe even months. And the good thing in life is also that you can just start again, all over again, no matter where you are or how stuck you feel.

So yesterday I started to write some little things for today. Just the things I had already planned in my head. And I added something for tomorrow, something very small and something with a lot of added maybes and such, but I added something work.

And the main thing I guess that made it feel different from earlier when I restarted the planning, like a few days ago I added some leaves of paper for additional days, is that I am really committed again to start it, restart it. So something I changed my mindset, my outlook.

And yes, I believe more and more also that you can’t force these things. There is something like Infinite Intelligence or God that needs to inspire you. Or something they call the Law of Attraction. Or something like desire.

So yes, please, do start, do start wiggling your finger or toe or whatever small body part when your body doesn’t feel like moving. But do start small and only do it when you feel inspired, as without inspiration or desire, no matter how much you want something and no matter how much action you put into something, it will only have effect when there is some positive force behind it.

 

Self analysis, question 34

Today’s question is “Can you mention three of your most damaging weaknesses? What are you doing to correct them?”. And the first thing that comes in my mind is that I can’t say no to my partner in most cases if he wants something. And then it stops. Or maybe my second weakness is eating chips, which I just did (and which makes me fat). But maybe more important is that somehow I mostly lose people, especially in business.

And all of this is very good I think, working through these questions in different ways, this time just answering them in public, writing  them down.

So let’s start with the first one, not being able to say no to my partner. Somehow that is a very hard and strange one, as I often compromise my own values just because I can’t say no. And yes, part of that is his anger, that can be very bad and that anyone would try to avoid. But that is a very bad excuse as often there is a lot more damage with my ‘not being able to say no’ than anything his anger could do. And by not saying no I am also teaching him that he can get anything he wants, which is certainly not healthy, not for me, but certainly also not for him. And also not for other people involved, as slowly more and more people are experiencing damage of my weakness of not being able to say no to my partner.

And recently I have been thinking that there may be many more people and situations I may act the same way, also causing a lot of damage.

So what am I doing to correct this first weakness? Well, at first sight nothing really, as even tonight I kind of gave in to something I don’t really want, something I might have wanted to say no to. On the other hand I am at least starting to realize that this is a very damaging weakness, so at least I am aware and kind of out of the denial phase. And that may be an important step to solve this issue, this weakness. So let’s stick with this for now, as it is still a very difficult issue for me, even though I guess most people wouldn’t understand what is going on and why I am doing what I do. And while writing I don’t even know myself why I do it, as often I just feel stupid and ‘wrong’.

But let’s at least acknowledge I am acknowledging this weakness and that that is a very important step.

My second weakness, eating, makes me very fat and somehow I hate myself for that. And still, I never really made any progress with this. Yes, for a short time, sometimes. But I never pushed through and even tonight I just bought a lot of snacks and started eating them, until right now.

So what am I doing to correct this? Well, actually nothing. I even kind of accepted my eating as something belonging to me, something to compensate for unhappiness and dissatisfaction in other areas of my life. So yes, I know where this eating habit comes from and what causes it. And while writing this I realize it has to do with my first weakness, at least the cause of that. And I don’t feel like writing about that in detail here, but let’s say it’s about the fear of loss of love of someone.

So what am I doing about it? Well, nothing really. So maybe time to at least acknowledge that it is a problem and that it causes unhappiness because I feel so fat. Would that be a step one to a solution?

So my third weakness is losing people. And that is a hard one and I have been trying(?!) to do something about that for a long time. And somehow it seems to pay off, but somehow I often still feel trapped with this, as I still often feel left alone by people, abandoned by them, them not replying to me, them not wanting to meet me.

So what am I doing about it? Well, again, at least I somehow acknowledge that I want to do something about it. And that somehow it is a weakness of me. And that it probably has to do with me not being really interested in people. And that goes back to me not being really interested in myself, me not really accepting myself.

So I am working on self-acceptance.