Author Archives: Guus

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Today was a very exciting day for me, but right now I have no clue what to write here. And there were some subjects I wanted to write about, but my mind is just empty. And yes, I am starting to believe that Napoleon Hill really created something with his book Think and Grow Rich as I did not only started reading from that book about one and a half year ago, but I am also trying to apply many of the principles described in it. And yes, I am somehow mixing it with the teaching of Abraham Hicks, so it’s not only the ideas of Napoleon Hill I’m applying.

But related to Napoleon Hill recently I am starting to see that somehow I have been learning how to protect myself from negative influences. And about my fear about losing (my) love. As my partner is very down and angry (with me) for a few weeks now, but I am starting to see that it is not about me, but about him. And that indeed I can stay positive and do things and somehow be happy and enjoy life, even though of course it still affects me, a lot. And before, when he had one of those moods I was very much affected, couldn’t move very well myself. But right now I stay focused on my own goals and try to keep my vibrations positive. And no, believe me, it’s not easy, as love, my love, romantic love, my partner is the most important in my life. And for that reason it also hurts me, a lot. But going down with him only brings me down, brings us down together. So better stay focused on the positive, on the love, on the dreams. As that may be the only thing to pull him up, pull him out, pull us up, pull us out.

Camera

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It is still strange to me that no one seems to have seen my need for a camera as indicated somewhere on the top right of the content area of this site. Or maybe people have seen it, but don’t understand what it means, what it would mean to receive a camera based on a request that I posted on this site, even on every page.

And yes, maybe it just sound like a demand, like I am just demanding for someone to give me a camera. And maybe I do, maybe that’s also what you read or feel in between the lines of my request. But there must be a million unused camera’s out there with a resolution of around 3 megapixel that are not being used anymore because many people are now using their phone or tablet to make pictures. As that was my idea, that my request wouldn’t cost anything to the person giving it to me as the camera I’m looking for would just be obsolete, lying somewhere in a closet, not being used anymore.

And yes, of course if you are in another country or something sending it may cost a lot, so I can imagine you wouldn’t want to spend for it. But again, you might like or might want to support this site, this project, or even me.

And maybe you wonder why I don’t buy one myself. Or why I don’t have one myself. Well, the first reason is that I don’t want to spend for it as I don’t have so much money at the moment. And another reason is to see if people are willing to give something in return, give something to me because I created this site, this project, spend a little time every day to write a post. As until now not much came to me from this project, although sometimes I get an e-mail from someone who liked the quote I sent. And that type of thing is very important to me, that keeps me going, as until now this project has been quite a lonely business.

And maybe I can tell you also why I don’t have a camera at the moment. As I kind of had four camera’s in my life. The first one I got when I was a teenager. An Olympus Trip 35. And I was very happy with it and used it for a long time, but unfortunately it was stolen. And the second was a Fuji, not sure what was the type, but I also had that for quite a while, although I didn’t like it so much, even though it was very flat, so very convenient to bring. The third was the first digital camera, and my partner and me bought it for our company, for Active Discovery Designs. I don’t remember the brand or type though, but I liked it very much. Unfortunately that camera was broken by my partner when he was very angry. And in the mean time my partner had given away my second camera to family or friends. The fourth camera was not mine, but was given to my partner as a present from my parents. That was a Canon Powershot S5 IS

Canon Powershot S5 IS

And the last was was lent by my partner to the family and it came back broken. Those things happen often in The Philippines and I still don’t always know how to deal with that, although I understand the people who used it would not be able to replace it or have it repaired. And yes, it has been brought to a shop for repair, but it was not repaired properly. Also that often happens in The Philippines. And mostly it’s just not followed up, so you just end up with a broken camera. Or something else broken.

So well, I am still very hesitant to ask something, demand something. And when I put my request in this site quite a while ago I felt a bit awkward, as indeed, it felt like demanding. And it seems that I was somehow right, that I somehow didn’t find the right way to ask something. As no, I don’t believe in demanding, but maybe I should do that a bit more. As I believe I deserve more, much more than what I have now..

But you may understand from above story that it was not really my fault that I don’t have a camera anymore. Although indeed somehow I have figured out that I am at least partly responsible. But I still don’t fully understand how that works. It seems you can’t control other people, so if they give away things or break things, there is not so much you can do about it, especially if they don’t have the means to replace or repair it.

And one more thing, and that is that I indeed often would like to add more photo’s to this site. And I would like to share more photo’s on Facebook, as it seems that’s what people like.

So no, it seems I still don’t know how to ask for things in a nice way. And it may be I have been demanding for this camera. But yes, it would be nice if someone gave me one, gave me something like the third or fourth camera I mentioned.

Resting

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Well, somehow today was some kind of resting day. And I didn’t even really plan it, but yesterday or so I saw I had nothing really planned for today (and the next few days). So I added some little items for today yesterday, but just some small stuff, so basically I could do or not do what I wanted to do, without the pressure I still feel with my daily to-do list. And yes, I am still proud of my daily to-do list, as this time, unlike many times before in my life, I know I’m going to do the things that are on it. So it is somehow a different feeling, although until now I can’t really relate it to my definite purpose and other goals yet, making it a bit dull, a bit boring, not exciting like knowing where I am going.

But I still believe it is a step, or actually it are many steps, the things I started and learned since about one and a half year, or almost two years ago now.

And I hope one day I can share that it helped me to achieve real success, to achieve my definite purpose and to achieve some other goals I have in mind. As that indeed might be more convincing than hearing all those things from someone who is not really successful yet. Or am I?

What a day!

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Wow, what a day was today. And the day started very bad as i felt very bad when I woke up. And I was kind of scared, scared for the things that I had planned for today. And of course feeling bad made me stay in bed for a while, as usual, as I mostly wake up with a very bad feeling, feeling very bad. And of course that made it worse, made me feel guilty an more anxious, as I know part of the day the electricity is off, also in the city, so it might be off at the lawyer I needed for what I had planned for today. And I didn’t really know another lawyer to do what i wanted to be done, so it had to be this one, preferably. And of course my fear became reality, as the moment I arrived at the lawyer the electricity was off. So he couldn’t check and print the draft statement that I had made and wanted to have notarized.

But that was unimportant, looking back. And you may guess, again today i did all the things i had planned to do, including having this statement finished and notarized and sent. And looking back it wasn’t that bad, and somehow, even though I was late, I had built in quite some safety nets, but maybe more important, I was and am somehow determined to finish the things I am planning for a day. And yes, I am still careful how to plan and state those things, as I want to really make it a habit to finish the things i have planned for a day. And I’m becoming pretty good at it, as today proofs.

And somehow it’s the determination, the knowing that I am going to do something, the knowing that i am going to finish something, that makes it work. As today, despite my bad feeling and my feeling somehow not to want to do what I had planned to do, didn’t stop me. i left the house, yes late, but i left the house on the way to do the things I wanted to do, had planned to do. And no, I didn’t do them efficiently, as it took me part of the morning and most of the afternoon to just finish, print and send two letters. But i did it, and the weird thing was that when I was finished, when the second letter was on the way, I felt very satisfied. And another weird thing was that it hadn’t even taken as much time as I thought it would, even though there were many hurdles like the electricity not working at the lawyer when I arrived there the first time. An another weird thing was that I wasn’t affected that much when I arrived and my biggest fear had become reality. I just got the information and found another way to get done what i wanted to have done. And just continued on my quest on finishing what I wanted to finish, no matter what, like finishing my draft and printing the final product somewhere else. And when I came back the electricity was already back, earlier than expected. So I could have just stayed and have my document finished at the lawyer, which was my original plan. And that’s another weird thing I experienced today, as while being on the way to finish my letters and the document, I just kept thinking about alternatives, like finding another lawyer or finding another way to print, or getting the information I still needed to finish the document.

As I was just determined to finish what I wanted to finish, no matter what!

And yes, that also is still boosting my confidence, my self confidence. As with every day I finish what I planned to do, I feel stronger.

And remember, this is also something i believe you can learn if you want. As most of my life, looking back, I have not been a good planner and certainly not a good finisher. But now I am, even though it is still limited to not so many things on a day and not so risky things. But that’s exactly the point, as most of my life I think i wanted too many things, planned too many things. And that is not very encouraging, if you plan things and you don’t finish them. But now I do and I am proud of what i achieved today. And that is a very good feeling.

So what I want to emphasize is to start small, like I did almost two years ago with just planning to make the bed every day. And that’s a five minute job, but at the time even that was hard for me to finish. But that’s where i started and that’s also what i did, make the bed, every day. And slowly I added some other small things, like just buying something or finishing a small job, either work or private. And I just planned it for the day itself, or maybe the next day, but no further in the future. And i slowly extended that, and at first, when I didn’t manage things, when it was too much, I just planned less. But making the bed I did, every day. And that was what I held on to.

So start small, do only one little thing, one thing you know you can do yourself, one thing you have full control over, every day.

And it’s funny, as while writing this post the electricity went off, so I didn’t finish my things for today, or actually yesterday as it was around four thirty in the morning when the electricity came back. But yes, I guess also today I’ll make it, although it was close!

And the post was a bit longer as not everything was auto saved, but I guess the last paragraph that was there was enough:

Start small, do only one little thing, one thing you know you can do yourself, one thing you have full control over, every day. Or maybe just add to slowly extend this one thing you do, you finish every day. And just go back to the previous level if it’s not enough. Just be slow, start small..

Memories

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I found some photo’s yesterday or so, photo’s of The Kranz, a Bed & Breakfast I visited long time ago. And I think I wrote about it earlier, but I’m not sure if it was in this site or in my Dutch blog. And the main photo is this one:

The Kranz terrace view. .

As somehow that is the view that lead me to The Malasag House. But while thinking, I have always liked ‘ends of the world’ and ‘highest points’, and while writing I guess many people do, although I think I have it a bit more than average.

And I still want The Malasag House to be a bit the same, full of guests, full of people, enjoying the beautiful view, the beautiful venue, meeting people or us, or not. But until now I didn’t really succeed and I still don’t know why. Or yes, I do, but I don’t know how to fix it, as it has to do with my relationship. And the weird thing is my partner is the one who is sociable, apparently caring for people. And he loves gardening and keeping the house in order, making the house nice, for guests. But somehow he doesn’t want paying guests, want people to pay, meaning we don’t have enough money, not even to maintain the place. And yes, of course I would also like, love to invite people for free, give them everything they want, everything they need, as we did before, when we still had money. But as of the moment we can’t, so why not find another way, why not just ask for some contribution? I’m quite sure people would be willing to help, willing to help to let The Malasag House shine. But somehow my partner doesn’t want to, is too embarrassed or something. And of course I need to honor that feeling, but in my feeling everybody loses, as now we can’t share the house, share a nice, beautifully maintained resort type house. A house worth sharing, a house worth keeping, a house worth maintaining. And I still didn’t find a way to deal with this except ‘work, work, work’, meaning everybody, including my partner, say and think, complain ‘he is always working’, which is true.

So this brought me back to my previous partner, the partner I was with when visiting The Kranz. And he always also experience me working. And complained about it. And yes, I also experience I’m kind of a workaholic. But I don’t know any other way to pay the bills. Except for something like indeed sharing the house in a paid Bed & Breakfast type of way. Or winning the lottery or something.

And I don’t know how other people do this, how they pay the bills. As until now I didn’t find another way.

And yes, I’m complaining again. But wouldn’t you if you couldn’t travel anymore, didn’t have a car anymore, couldn’t maintain the dogs, couldn’t have fun with your partner going out, especially if that were things that brought you together, kept you together in the beginning?

Well, wanted to share some other photo’s with a nicer story, like me with a Cheetah. And while starting this sentence I didn’t feel like it, but while writing I’ll just put that photo here, below.

Cheetah on lap. .

And that photo was taken on the same holiday, at the Tshukudu Game Lodge, I think the best place I ever visited on a holiday, and yes, also one of the most expensive, but it was worth it, more than. And I still remember the morning walk with lions and an elephant. And the cheetah on my lap as you can see on the photo. Very impressive and kind of scary, because I remember touching the tail of one of the lions that was with us, and it was a lion’s tail, certainly not a cat’s tail, a pet’s tail. And the cheetah was a young cheetah, and it scratched me, no not bad, but again, a predator’s touch, not the scratch of a cat or a dog.

And yes, I miss that life, I miss the life where we could basically do what we wanted, having enough money to travel, maintain the house and garden, go out, visit friends, invite friends. And I don’t know where it went or why it didn’t come back yet. As I know much more now, have much more life experience, know more how to get things and stuff. But somehow it didn’t happen yet, somehow I can’t find the inspiration, can’t find the inner strength to get there, again, and this time better, this time for real.

But yes, the last was and is what this site is all about, finding success, finding inspiration to success, inspiration for success. And persistent I am, but something is missing. And I still don’t know what. But I’ll get there, I have to find out, I have to be who I really am, I have to be who I really can be.

What about you?