Tag Archives: Higher Power

Self analysis, question 19

I just pressed ‘New Post’ to create this post and suddenly felt very tired. And I have no clue why, even though I had a pretty heavy meeting tonight, but normally that doesn’t make me feel tired like right now. So I wonder if it has anything to do with the self analysis question for today: “Have you learned how to ‘down your troubles’ by being too busy to be annoyed by them?”. And the answer is no, as I often feel down and then can’t find any way to get moving (again) even though I know that mostly if I do something that I can do ‘fully’ I will feel better or just forget about everything.

So yes, I know being busy can down your troubles, make you forget your troubles, but when I feel down, which is quite often, mostly in the morning, I just can’t find the energy to get out of bed or get moving to ‘down my troubles’.

And this is very interesting as rationally I know that normally when I start moving I will feel better. But somehow that is not enough, somehow there is ‘something’ that still stops me in those moments, in those moods.

And yes, I often wonder what that something is and until now I didn’t find an answer to that, even though I know it has something to do with that I don’t believe things will be better, as they have been bad for so long.

And this brings me to the ideas around the “Law of Attraction“, the ideas that you first need to feel good, somehow need to be inspired, feel inspired to make anything good happen. And that brings me to the fact that related to that feeling better I often find myself in some negative downward spiral as I kind of try to push myself to feeling better, which of course only produces more feeling bad. And that makes me feel guilty, which makes me even feel worse.

And that brings me again to ideas like something outside of me, something like Infinite Intelligence needs to come to help. But also there I didn’t find a way yet to leave things to Infinite Intelligence or my Higher Power, at least mostly not, even though I try.

But yes, while writing I feel I am making progress. As I see and understand more and more that I am just a very small ‘something’ in a very large Universe. And yes, somehow I am also larger than that same Universe…

Self analysis: question 2

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I couldn’t really get going the last few days, including today, so I guess the best way to get out of that is just continuing with what I started last week, answering the self analysis questions from the last chapter of Think and Grow Rich.

But before going to that, the second question, there are still things in my mind, like why am I not moving, why do I, well, feel bad? And ‘they’ say it is all in you, in me, but it feels like some external force has taken over, that I am not supposed to do anything, that I am supposed to rest or something. So strange, and kind of contradictory, what is happening and what I am writing about, as I thought it all starts with me, with you, with desire and autosuggestion and such. But maybe this self analysis, this second question, will give more clarity, so let’s just go to that.

And the second question is “Do you find fault with other people at the slightest provocation?”. And I guess answering that, thinking about that may indeed give some answers. As I notice more and more that I blame other people and circumstances for the situation I am in, that I (still) act like a victim, that I still feel helpless, helpless in getting what I want, helpless in getting what I want in life, helpless getting what I want from life.

So yes, I often find fault with other people. Or maybe even always. Not sure if that is related to provocation or something, but I guess there must be something to that, otherwise Napoleon Hill wouldn’t have included that in the question.

I am turning that around by the way, the fault finding, as I see more and more that what other people do or want or think has nothing to do with me. So why would I feel provoked with anything someone else says or does or thinks?

And not sure what else to write, to answer related to this question, except maybe that I am thinking a lot about things like who I am and what I am doing here on this earth, in this life and if there is indeed some kind of Higher Power I have to answer to. But while writing the last immediately the question arises why I have been given the power of choice, or don’t I have a real choice? Yes, I have, as I could sell the house and immediately solve my financial problems, but I choose not to, as I believe things will be better, as I believe somehow I can turn everything around and stay here and enjoy and let other people enjoy.

But it has been too long, and I kind of gave up, although I am still doing things to make ‘it’ work, to get what I want. But I also didn’t give up, as I am still moving, still getting up, standing up, after falling down again.

But yeah, maybe the answer is indeed in some Higher Power, in Infinite Intelligence.

Writing inspiring

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My mind is still with a recent post of Leo Babauta. And about how Alden Tan writes. And Marc and Angel. And many more famous bloggers. As they all seem to write in a way I recognize, and obviously many people recognize. And as they seem to have a large audience. And yes, their stuff is often, mostly, inspirational. And I believe my stuff is mostly not. And I don’t have a lot of followers, hardly any, I guess.

And yes, I realize most of them started quite a while ago, when it was much easier to get a blog started. As there weren’t so many yet. And yes, I know they have a different focus, mostly spend a lot of time on their blogs, their sites, where for me it’s just a sideline. And yes, they want to be writers, where I don’t think I want to be, although of course with my everyday writing I am.

So I am often wondering how ‘they’ can convert their bad experiences, their mishaps, their ‘what life throws at them’ in some kind of positive message. As I have difficulty with that. As I often just don’t feel good. So it doesn’t feel good to only tell half my story, just the nice stuff. And until now I didn’t find any real solution to be more happy, to do better. So it seems I just end up in complaining how bad life is or how bad I feel. And indeed, I guess that’s not very inspiring to read.

So yes, I also often wonder how ‘they’ have felt when their traffic went down, when things didn’t seem to move. And what they did, like if they were able to write about that, about how bad they felt.

And then again, I am starting to ask myself how real all those positive stories, those positive quotes are. And if it is really true if you can ‘get there’ with determination or hard work. Or something else. And I am starting to realize that it is all much more personal than what you just find on the internet. As I know in my case that ‘hard work’ didn’t work, until now, even though I also did some test where I found that my feeling about working hard does not match ‘reality’. And I am starting to believe that indeed if God or Infinite Intelligence or your Higher Power, or whatever name you have for that which is bigger than us, does not cooperate, does not want something for you, you can do whatever you want, follow all the advice of all people in the world, whether successful or not, but it won’t happen.

So maybe indeed, before you do anything, first pray, or meditate, find calmness. But yes, that is indeed, also, what I find everywhere, in all advice. So maybe that’s the common thing, maybe that’s the common start.