Tag Archives: Planning

Being flexible

It was not really easy to skip my posts and the sending of my daily quote and the update of my gratitude diary yesterday. Or maybe it was, as I just did it, especially keeping myself from sending the daily quote yesterday, which I could have relatively easily done. And behind it is still fear I think, fear of letting go of the routine of ‘planning the work and working the plan‘. But somehow I have the feeling that I am overdoing things, that I am too rigid in following my plan, my daily to-do list. And what triggered me thinking that was a remark a few weeks ago of a friend of mine, something like that he would leave me behind, let me alone if I really wanted to push through with meeting someone who skipped a meeting we had planned because he was sick. And yes, that was the first time or one of the first times that I really didn’t make my daily planning, really could not check an item on my list as ‘done’. And no, I don’t think it hurt me in my discipline really, maybe even the opposite, although I’m not fully sure. As somehow I continued making my daily plan and doing the things I planned for the day, maybe even more conscious than before. Actually it made me think a lot about being rigid or flexible and somehow it gave me more options, more choices.

And yes, somehow it still makes me scared that I am now able to indeed decide NOT to finish my daily to-do list. As I did yesterday, as I had decided to attend a funeral, meaning I left Wednesday end of the afternoon and returned today, Friday morning, as I had to travel for around eight hours to the city where the family lives,where I spent most of yesterday attending the funeral, including preparations and aftermath.

So maybe it did or does take courage NOT to do things, like not to send my daily quote yesterday and not to write my posts and not to update my gratitude diary. And yes, it still makes me feel a bit scared, as I no have given myself the option to NOT finish my daily to-do list.

But even while scared, scared of falling back to not doing things anyhow, no matter whether I planned them or not, somehow I have the feeling I gained some flexibility, lost some of my rigid thinking by indeed allowing me to be flexible, even where the cost is NOT doing the things I planned, so not working the plan.

But it made me more human, as being a human being you can’t control everything. And you certainly need to take the time to be with family, friends, to share a loss like the death of a loved one.

Somthing changed, somehow

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Something changed, somehow. And I’m not fully sure if it will bring me happiness, but probably (some) success. As today I was sick and somehow still went to work and finished my daily to-do list. And even some more things. So somehow the habit I developed related to planning and discipline seems to be very strong.

And don’t get me wrong, I didn’t even force myself. On the contrary actually, as I took quite some breaks and at a certain moment just stopped. And at a certain moment I even felt like I had a lot of time left today, kind of unusual, as normally I often feel I don’t have time enough on a day, even if I didn’t plan so many things, like also today.

And no, I was not really ill, as to have to stay in bed, but just have a cold or something. So I could do the things I had planned for today. And the strange thing is that after Friday, when I missed my planning, which was a big deal for me, I missed another item on my planning on Saturday. A small item, that I kind of did half, but nonetheless, I missed it. And it worried me a bit, but somehow when I found out and also today I feel that I have a lot more confidence, confidence that I won’t let go anymore of this system of planning and discipline.

And even more strange is that today I even improved my planning further, like putting my pile of papers in a folder, where I was amazed that I finished my little goals that I had planned for June 14, 2014 or so already finished.

And no, I am still not really happy, there are still some major things in my life that I would like to see changed before I can feel really happy (again). But somehow these things I learned over the last one and a half year make that I feel that I have more control over my life. And yes, that even gave me some more happiness today.

But I think the main thing I gained was a lot of self confidence. And that was probably the main thing lacking in my life.

And don’t forget these things didn’t come easy. It all started with the deepest down in my life and from there started with ‘just’ making the bed. But the last I did every day, ever since. And that’s what me often keeps me going if I am down. So
please start small.

Failure?

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So today was my first real failure with my planning. Or should I call it defeat? As I had made a mistake planning a meeting with someone and didn’t put something like ‘maybe’ or ‘if pushes through’. And it looked all so good, as I was in continuous contact with the person who had set up the meeting and we even met, waiting for the third person, the person it was all about. And in the end it turned out he had become ill and had gone to the hospital, to his doctor. So I made a remark to my partner that maybe we should go there, as I had made this part of my planning and did not fail for the last few weeks or even months doing the things I had planned for the day. And then the comment I got in return kind of hit me, as he kind of looked at me as if I were crazy, trying to push something through when someone was just ill. So at that moment I kind of decided to back down and just accepted that this meeting was not going to happen. And accepting that I had really failed today, something I had been very scared of for the last few weeks, months.

But somehow nothing really happened. Or actually a lot of good things happened. As another remark of the person with me was that if I would be so stubborn to push through with this, he would not entertain me anymore, as he considered it very bad to bother this person being ill just because of my planning. And I think he was right, even though I felt tempted to indeed push through and see this person, even for just one minute, just to make my point, just to prove to myself that I can indeed “plan the work and work the plan”. And of course I could have, but at that moment I decided to not push through and accept failure, which should have been a big thing, but actually wasn’t. And I was a bit amazed with that, as this has been a moment I have dreaded for quite a while. And behind it was just fear, fear to fall back to not finishing things I had planned, fear to go back to being unsuccessful. And right now I know also that that is not going to happen, right now I know that I am going to continue on this road toward leadership and success. And right now I am actually getting very emotional, as somehow it seems, it feels, deep inside, that I have decided to this time not give up. And that this small failure, that is not even a real failure, but just temporary defeat as the meeting will probably push through tomorrow, does not count, not at all.

So thank you Michael, for all the things you said today, about my little stupid childish ‘failure’ that wasn’t even a real failure. And especially for reminding me that I am human, and that humans make mistakes, are sometimes defeated and can also even fully fail.

Late and planning and discipline

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It is strange to see how somehow my behavior changed with planning and discipline. As it is very late right now and I even forgot one of the items on my list today. Unfortunately it was not a big thing so I just finished it in a few minutes.

And the weirdest change is that I don’t question anymore whether I’m going to do things or not. If I planned it as a real to-do item without any maybe or something, I’ll just do it. And staying at a party tonight was in that way also a deliberate choice. I just balanced enjoying at the party against still writing this post tonight, sending my daily quote and updating my Dutch blog right now, after this.

And yes, sometimes I will just minimize things, like just writing a short post here. Or indeed if it is very late or if I get the feeling I planned too many days on a day I will also shorten the time I planned, or the effort. And sometimes, very sometimes even do things ‘in the spirit’ and not really as I think I ‘should’ do them. But the last is very rare.

So yes, something has changed, somehow. Somehow I have developed a habit of finishing things. And I’m still not sure if I’m really happy with it or if it really will bring me success, but something changed and somehow it feels good.

Plan the work and work the plan

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Wow, today was some day. As I managed to achieve two important things:

Create the very first initial version of the IFS Tools.
Plan a very minimal goal.

And it seems I just finished both, although they were kind of combined. But this being combined was not really intentional. And I am a bit confused right now, as I don’t have a feeling of having achieved something, having achieved something big. And I wrote about that before, as it seems that these kinds of achievements, achievements that require a lot of planning and effort and work, feel like kind of an anticlimax when you finally have achieved them. As I actually just feel tired right now, and even a bit confused. And that’s also what I often see when people achieve an important sports goal, like winning a race. When climbing the, well, whatever the name of the thing is they’re climbing on, they look also mostly just tired, or indeed, maybe also confused. As what I am seeing and experiencing more is that achieving something big just goes in small steps. And I wanted to write today’s post about how I planned for today to achieve a goal, as I want to learn to plan goals, not just activities. And I wanted to start small, so I chose a goal that I thought was very small, the goal of installing the first mini-version of the IFS Tools in this site. As that goal I thought was already practically reached as I had a working version on my local development system. So I planned the last steps, the last activities in detail to achieve the, I thought, very small goal for today: make sure people can register and save and update their definite purpose in https://www.inspiration-for-success.com/. But it was not as easy as I thought, as I am not yet very good with planning activities to make sure I can achieve a certain goal, a certain result. And things often take much more time and effort than I think, so also today. And I tend to deviate from the planning, just do it ‘my own way’, on the fly. But yes, as far as I know I made it. And it’s not perfect and the added value for you I guess is very limited. But I have the technical foundation now and I hope I can extend it very soon to useful tools to help you achieve success, to inspire you.

And no, I don’t feel like celebrating. But somehow I know this is a big day!

And just checking now, and it seems there is still something not okay. Not sure what to do now. Well, I did, as I didn’t reach my goal, the things I planned for today, so no option but to fix, which I did!