Tag Archives: Understanding

Lessons in love

“All the dreams that we were building, we never fulfilled them; could be better, should be better; lessons in love“. That was the song I just played. And I don’t know exactly why. I just like the song, the melody and never really thought about the text.

And while playing it, as my partner left around a week ago very angry and didn’t come back yet, I was wondering, am still wondering what it is that makes love, especially love in a love type relationship, so hard, at least to me, and obviously to my partner. But I know that I’m not the only one, as most relationships I know a bit more about, like the relationship of my parents, are not that easy and certainly mostly not ‘loving’.

And I thought a lot about what is happening with me, with me and my partner, with my relationship. And I can’t figure out what to do different to make it better, to make it a joyful, loving and powerful relationship. And yes, somehow I know I am pleasing my partner too much. But how can you please someone ‘too much’, especially if it is your partner, the person who is closest to you, the person you want to share your life with, the person you want to build a life together with, the person you have built a life together with.

And it feels like it’s all about my partner, that he is ‘wrong’. But observing him and listening to him he must feel the same way, as he always tells me I am wrong. So are we feeling and thinking the same, just blaming each other? And where are the good times, the times when we just met, the years after, the years we were building?

And they say you can only change yourself. But, and I wrote about that before I guess, ‘I have to change’ implies something like I’m not good enough. And again, that is the same I think about my partner, as I want him to change, so somehow I’m implying he’s not good enough.

But wait, that’s not true. I love my partner how he is, for who he is. Or not, as I’m not happy? And what is it exactly what I want? Yeah, well, have a relationship as I always had it in mind, like the sexual thing, the hugging and kissing and the warmth of holding each other at night. And the sex of course, like a few times a week, or per month if I’m not in the mood. And building something together, a house, a household, travel together, have holidays together. And I thought that’s also what he wanted, but looking back of course I never really asked him that. But we did those things together. And it was not all perfect, but we did. And we even started a business together. But then things started to go ‘wrong’, in business. And then the money was gone and we couldn’t move anymore. And then he withdrew from everything, blaming me for everything that went wrong.

And I guess I was to blame, I was responsible, especially when looking back, now, I realize more of that, of my mistakes and my responsibility in what went wrong. But I still don’t understand why I need to take all the blame. And I don’t understand why he stopped helping, supporting, finding ways, finding money, finding customers. Or maybe I do, knowing him, his character a bit more now.

So yes, maybe that is the answer, that I need to take charge, that I need to do ‘everything’. As he just can’t, just can’t seem to handle all of this, all that went wrong the last few years business wise, money wise. And even for me it was hard, it still is hard. But somehow I will keep moving, no matter what. And so maybe somehow he can’t.

But not easy, as I need so much his love, his sex. That would make things, make life so much easier for me (and for the both of us I think). But somehow he can’t, it seems, it must be.

And giving up, leaving? No, that’s no option. As I still believe in lifetime relationship in “until death do us part”, no matter what. As we both deserve a happy love and sex life, a happy relationship.

What about you?

Today

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Today was just another day. But while writing this, I realize, that a while ago I wanted a more ‘normal’ life. So at least the working for the last days has been back to ‘normal’, as I have more work at the moment than I can finish in a few days. And of course that’s a good sign. But still, I miss the budget to just go out, meet friends, have some small holiday. And somehow I believe life is supposed to be different, with more ups than I feel I have had.

But yes, it seems I’m on the right way though, even though I’m a romantic and still longing for that love and affection that I guess everybody is longing for. That would make life so much easier, and yes, actually it did for me. And yes, that’s also what Napoleon Hill states, that every successful person has this love type thing that drives him or her.

So how come we often mess up this love type thing? I still presume most people are the same like me, just looking to hold, to be held and have erotic and sexual experiences with their partner. But somehow that appears not be as easy as it sounds. Somehow emotions are standing in the way. As I don’t see that many relationships that really thrive, that really make both partners happy. And no, I somehow don’t agree with the statement that you need to be happy first yourself and that love and sex add just additional happiness, are just bonuses. I believe that people just need love (and sex) and affection. And that if those basic needs are not met, one cannot be happy, or at least it is not very easy to be happy. Of course unless one is into high level meditation and such.

So no, I don’t have all the answers. But recently I started to look more and more at my partner and started to try to understand him, even though often I’m fully lost with how he behaves and especially how he treats me. And some friend of mine often points out that it’s all about perception. And I think I’m understand a little more of the perception of my partner. And from that point of view it’s pretty logical how he reacts, what he does. And no, I don’t fully understand how he deals with some basic human needs. But it must mean there are some things in between that are larger than that. So these things must be pretty big. And maybe hurting him more than me.

Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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Malaysian Airlines Flight 370 Well, this will be more of a common blog post from a blogger than an inspirational post from Inspiration for Success. As because I am interested more than average in airplanes and the aircraft industry I am following the news, or actually the non-news about Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 quite closely, although I guess many people do as it has been the top story on CNN and I guess in many other news channels and programs.

But next to just being interested in flying and the aircraft industry I am writing because still some things that I see on the news right now just don’t add up. As yes, I can imagine an airplane not being found straight away, especially when lost over sea and after probably having changed course. And yes, I know many places, especially over sea, are not covered by radar or something. and yes, I know planes are not communicating continuously with the outside world.

But no, I can’t imagine a plane just flying somewhere towards land or over land without being detected, either by military or civil radar or whatever equipment there is to check planes or other flying objects crossing some kind of border, especially if their transponder is turned off. So somehow the images I see in the news don’t make sense, as they cover large land areas. And also the flight path towards the Indian Ocean goes over land, presumably Thailand and I can’t imagine no one saw some unidentified object, probably a plane, crossing borders.

And no, I don’t blame the Malaysian government for anything. I disagree strongly with all the criticism they get about how they handle the situation. As in the first place as far as I know they never or hardly ever dealt with something like a plane crash or plane incident, so of course they don’t have anything in place to deal with something like that. And secondly this is the weirdest airplane incident that ever happened as as far as I know there is no case of any plane just disappearing without leaving any (clear) message or trace like debris. So how would anybody know how to handle a case like this? You just wouldn’t expect a plane just go missing without leaving any trace. So you would just start a search where it was last seen and normally just find debris or something. But apparently that didn’t happen.

And yes, if there would be anyone or anything to blame it would be the news channels. As they keep on emphasizing there is no information and that the government or Malaysia Airlines should provide that. But presumably there is no information and I presume Malaysia Airlines and the Malaysian government are trying to organize the search and are trying to get the right experts to process all the information that could give answers to what happened. And I can imagine that takes time, especially in this very weird situation where you would need satellite images and radar information from all kinds of places to try to figure out the flight path the plane followed. And I guess Malaysia Airlines and the Malaysian government also want to know what happened, just like everybody else.

And why focus on angry family members? Why would people be angry with Malaysia Airlines and the Malaysian government? Yes, of course I can imagine they are frustrated as it is very hard not to know where your loved ones are or what happened to them. But I doubt they would be angry with Malaysia Airlines and the Malaysian government. Yes, maybe from frustration or because information comes out slowly. But I guess everybody can understand that Malaysia Airlines and the Malaysian government and people involved in the investigation have to be very careful what information to release, although maybe, just maybe, releasing some more might help people calm down a bit. As all this speculation that is going on my do more damage than solve things.

But yes, it’s news and especially in situations like this, where there is no real information, you still have to make a story, an exciting story. And yes, I am watching it. And yes, I would also like to know more about the facts, about those radar images and this ping and the satellite images that may hold information. And why the plane was never detect while presumably flying over land, into the airspace of e.g. Malaysia itself or Thailand.

So yes, there is something very, very strange in everything I hear and see in the news. But is it the news or is it reality? And I just see the CNN site has more in-depth information than what I see on TV: http://edition.cnn.com/2014/03/14/world/asia/malaysia-airlines-plane/.

And I just see the statement of Saturday, March 15, 05:45 PM MYT +0800 on the page MH Flight Incident of Malaysia Airlines, which confirmes several things.

Time will tell.

Ah, and one thing comes in my mind about the CEO of Malaysia Airlines, Mr..Ahmad Jauhari Yahya. He confirmed to me that people in that type of position apply the Principles of Success as he seemed very determined to find the plane, no matter what.

Something goals and definite purpose

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Well, that’s one of the assignments I gave myself today, something about goals and definite purpose. And I’m not fully sure why, although of course I do. As somehow my direction is not clear at the moment. Or maybe it’s more that there are some things I don’t know how to do, how to get. Or maybe better use the word receive instead of get.

And I guess one of my main issues is that I still believe that you get things, whether money or something else, that you have to work for it, do things for it, in a kind of negative way, in a way that you wouldn’t like to do it. So why would that be? And yes, it’s something most people believe, it’s something most people, or maybe even all people, in the world of today grew up with. And it’s one of the things that is contrary to the teachings of Abraham Hicks.

Ah, and there is another reason I wanted to do ‘something goals and definite purpose‘ as I notice more and more that many or most people don’t know what they want. And that I have the feeling most people don’t care about the things I want, the things I’m concerned about. Like I am very concerned about poverty and many things ‘wrong’ in The Philippines. And somehow Filipino’s themselves don’t seem to care, don’t seem to want to do something about it. And I can’t figure out why as at the same time I have the feeling people here do want ‘more’ and ‘right’ and ‘better’.

So is it just communication, my social skills? Maybe, as many people have told me my communication skills are not so good, all my life. But I’m starting to doubt that.

Or don’t people just want to do the effort to bring change, make things better? Or they don’t know how to support me, don’t know what I need? Or they just don’t know what I want, don’t understand me?

So while writing this maybe my short therm goal should be to figure out why people are not concerned about the things I am concerned about, want to change, want to change.

So if you can tell me more about that, please let me know. As I believe life can be better, especially in The Philippines, especially in a material way, material in the sense of improving quality of life in general.

What would inspire me

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I don’t feel much inspiration at the moment. This whole internet stuff, having no proper internet at home, has cost me a lot of energy and time. And I’m kind of a chaotic person, planning is not really my strength, so I like to do things a bit ‘ad hoc’, like when something comes into my mind I just want to do it, and often they are things I need internet access for. And as of the moment I can’t do that.

And yes, I tried to plan a bit better, like doing things in an internet cafe like I do right now. But it’s very inconvenient and I was just called to join my partner and a friend for dinner, so now it’s not easy to change my schedule as if I go home after I can’t finish this post and my other things I do for this site and for my personal blog/site because there is hardly internet.

Or maybe I can, as my partner still has an iPhone that has something like a personal hot spot that I can use to finish the posts later. So maybe that’s the solution for now.

But what I started this post with is what would inspire me, inspire me to do more for this site. And I know the answer, as the first thing I need is people who would want to make this work together with me. And yes, I have a team, but the team is not operational and is basically doing nothing, although I know at least one of them is reading my posts on a regular basis. And at least one likes my daily inspirational quote sent by e-mail.

But still, I feel alone and also don’t see much value at the moment for this site as I also didn’t manage to add more of the tools stuff I have in mind.

And yes, I found someone who was also interested to write, so maybe that’s a new start.

But yes, I could use some inspiration from other people. But maybe that’s just the thing that’s not there for me, in this life or something. As that was even the start of this site, me not feeling inspired by my dad or anyone else.

So if you want to help or inspire me, please do. Even a short comment would already help as that would mean at least someone reads this. But again, I know people do from the statistics. So maybe for now it’s just enough and I can just go on until it’s the time to reap.

Ah, and patience was and maybe still is my thing, my thing to learn.

Anyhow, thanks for reading, for visiting this site.

Guus