Tag Archives: Complaining

One year, ten years

Today was a bit a strange day. I woke up and didn’t feel good, as usual, but this time after getting out of bed I realized that I somehow had my hay fever like symptoms again. And I thought how much that affected my life or must have affected my life. And no, I don’t think about that so much anymore, as I don’t feel like having hay fever so much anymore, but this morning it just hit me.

And I was alone, which I don’t like so much, but I’m coping better, much better with that right now, even though somewhere in the background there is that missing feeling, that feeling that ‘something is not okay’. But I’m coping and basically feel okay, feel I’m just being myself.

And I was thinking about money, the stuff you seem to need to do the things you like, like traveling or visiting friends or just buying things. And I need a lot of it right now, mainly as I am afraid that paying my debts is going to take something like ten years, if I start earning a little bit more soon. Otherwise it would take longer or I would never be able to do it. And that’s just paying my debts, no fun, no holidays, no visiting friends or buying nice stuff.

And yeah, I’m doing kind of okay, like today was just a good day as I worked a bit and kind of enjoyed that. But of course I was also thinking about my fifty first birthday tomorrow, where I have no real plans, mainly indeed because I don’t have the budget for that. And because my partner is not here, but if I had some budget i would probably do something. So my delayed fiftieth birthday as I had it in mind is probably not going to happen. And no, I chose to not let it happen on April Fools Day, at least not my way. And yes, looking back I realize I must have made a weird impression to some people. But of course they don’t know the whole story and I’m pretty sure if they knew the whole story they would understand a bit better why I behaved like I did.

So well, things are improving somehow. But I still miss the ‘wow’ feeling, the passion, the inspiration. And I came quite far since about one and a half year ago, when my whole life was in ruins, yes, I certainly came quite far. But no, I’m not inspired, not passionate and I have basically no clue where I’m going, except that I kind of set my goals in stone with my desire document. A document I didn’t feel like reading the last few days, a document I was a bit scared of the last few days.

But that’s why I gave this post a title of a favorite saying of mine: “people often overestimate what they can do in one year, but they underestimate what they can do in ten years”. So let’s stick with that.

What’s next?

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I guess I used this name before, or actually I’m sure as the automatically created link indicates so. So what are we here to do (on earth), what am I here to do? I learned a lot, did a lot, but somehow I still don’t fit, somehow I still don’t add a lot of value, except learning, gaining knowledge. But that doesn’t add anything to other people and also doesn’t add to the world I guess. So what am I here to do?

And I started this site, this project, the project Inspiration for Success as something to give. And I feel like I am giving, as every day I send my daily quote and every day I write my daily post, although I feel like writing ‘every day I write something’ as often lately I feel like my writing doesn’t add much value.

And I know I didn’t chose an easy way, as until now I decided to stick with my model of give and receive. So no earnings from advertising or from selling links or article space. And no camera yet, even though my request for a camera is on every page.

So what’s next? Should I stick with my business model and my complaints related to e.g. Globe and Smart/PLDT, and yesterday to Microsoft? And please keep in mind, I do complain, but I am also doing some serious stuff to get it solved, to improve things, to improve the world, like the letters I wrote to the management of Smart/PLDT the management of Globe and the National Bureau of Investigation. And my questions in Facebook to find out what is the truth behind all the complaints and what is the real story of the telecom industry for implementing volume limits on unlimited plans.

And I think I am doing something good by opposing the script insertion by Globe as I really believe that is unethical so someone has to do something about it.

But until now I have the feeling I am getting nothing in return: no success, no money, no respect, no nothing, although maybe one exception is the e-mails I got from the management of Smart, as they say my suggestions are being taken very seriously.

But while writing maybe I should make some kind of desire document around this. Or indeed re-read my desire document more regularly, as often when doing so I realize this may all be part of it, part of what I want. And that my time of success will come, no matter what, if i only persist and do the right thing with the right intention.

But right now I still believe I deserve some more, some more for all my effort. Effort that is not only intended to make me rich or successful or something, but also intended to improve the world, to help other people, to make other people more happy, to bring more happiness in the world.

And I keep asking myself if all those (other) successful people felt the same, just tired of not getting anything in return for their actions or what they believed in.

What do you believe in? And what do you want? And how can I help you?

Please let me know.

Strange day

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Today was a bit a strange day. I got caught up in all kind of little things I was doing without any real plan, even though I guess I finished my planning for today although I still have to check that. Just chaos and being like my old self just doing things and being busy, but basically going nowhere.

And then I got stuck in the installation of a friends computer, something I used to do without any effort a few years ago. But somehow Microsoft has made it much more difficult to install or upgrade computers and I have no clue why, the same as why I don’t fully understand why they make such an issue of stopping the support for Windows XP. And why so many people and websites warn me that my computer is unsafe because my operating system is not being supported anymore. So what? Would it suddenly stop running? And why would I upgrade while there are not even decent upgrade tools?

Ah, and yes, recently I am starting to think if Napoleon Hill was really right with his stuff like being truthful and honest and serving people. As I see many companies not serving people anymore, getting greedy or something. And I am just trying to go the other way, focusing on service first and on money later or not at all.

And those companies are all rich, including their employees driving cars and such. And I am poor and can’t seem to get out of my financial troubles.

So should I get greedy, use my power and knowledge to just go and get the money?

Well, no, but it’s getting more and more tempting. As greed seems to work.

Humble

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Just half an hour ago or so I saw an e-mail sent earlier today from someone within the Smart/PLDT organization who has been asked to address the concerns mentioned in my letter of February 28, 2014 to the CEO and President of Smart, Mr. Napoleon L. Nazareno. And this made me happy, as the tone of the e-mail was such that my concerns are being taken very seriously. And it confirmed to me the leadership of Mr. Nazareno, as to my feeling he has put the right person at the right level in the organization to address my concerns.

It also confirms that most likely the recent actions taken by the local engineers of Smart are related to my letter. And it confirms that Smart is concerned about the things I have been complaining and writing about, contrary to what i, what we, often feel when dealing with large organizations like this. And yes, I still have some feeling of let’s see where this goes, let’s see if they really want to improve things for everybody, but my first impression of this e-mail today is very good.

And even though I am happy, I also feel humble, as especially the engineers did so much to make it all work and they are still following up if they can do something, as the speed I experience is quite low, lower than before. And yes, I still suspect something in the Smart/PLDT infrastructure is somehow limiting the speed, but I am also not 100% sure what’s going on on my side, as I have quite some computers connected and am running IPv6 tunnels that could generate traffic I am not aware of.

And I also feel humble as I don’t know how to run an organization like Smart and keep everything working and keep so many customers happy. And I know my connection is technically OK now and I am also pretty sure there is not something like a Fair Usage Policy volume limitation implemented.

And the last brings me to the fact that I am very much pro Fair Usage Policy in the sense of sharing bandwidth, especially right now as I have the feeling internet traffic is kind of exploding. And I also know that there are other technical limits that may very well affect internet connectivity and might have put Internet Service Providers off guard. Things like number of connections, as these must have exploded during the last year or the last few years with what I see Google and Facebook implement in web pages.

And related to The Philippines in my experience it is very difficult to find proper staff, technically as well as in management positions or in non-standard customer service positions. So one of my guesses is that large companies like Smart and Globe have difficulty to get and keep their technical infrastructure in order as well as their customer support, especially in cases like mine. As in my case with Smart as well as Globe I still believe all kinds of problems came together where no one took or could take charge as it just doesn’t fit the organization and/or the Philippine culture.

And that is exactly why I have been writing my letters and kept pushing and will continue to try to find ways to improve things in The Philippines, for the Philippines. As it is a nice tropical country where i think families should live together and be able to serve each other and the world business wise with a decent standard of living. just from home and not in some far away country in some kind of low level job because of the higher pay.

Wouldn’t that be nice, The Philippines in the top 10 with all kinds of things, like e.g. best internet infrastructure in the world? Why go abroad if you can make it all happen here use and develop your skills and experience here. And enjoy the company of your family, see your children grow up here, at home?

Sick or excuse

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Well, yesterday I skipped, not only my blogs, my daily quote and my gratitude page, but I also missed my planning.

And yes, I could have done it. But in the end I didn’t, because I felt sick and exhausted. And spent most of the day in bed.

And i was a bit in doubt, as i am quite well on the way being very disciplined finishing my planning for the day. And this was even the second day in weeks now that I decided NOT to do (all) the things I planned for the day.

So I could have done it, and i guess that’s what some (successful?) people would have done. But it didn’t feel really good to do it as I really felt sick, tired, exhausted. But especially it didn’t feel inspired, inspiring.

And that’s what i miss a bit, or actually a lot. Or something like ‘the most’. Doing things in an inspired way, doing things as Abraham Hicks describes. Doing things in a way described related to the Law of Attraction.

And thinking further, this is exactly also what Napoleon Hill calls desire, desiring things, achieving things in an inspired way.

And i know I have missed this for quite a long time. And it’s kind of bothering me. And I’m not sure what to do about is, to ‘relight my fire’. And I wrote about it before, that I didn’t feel the desire (anymore).

And yes, I am working on it, reading stuff related to that. And every now and then reading my desire document again, yes aloud.

So somehow, yes, I’m getting closer. As I feel myself getting stronger. And more confident. And more capable of ‘learning’ those things, the things like planning and discipline.

So yes, somehow Think and Grow Rich brought me something. And it seems that kind of applying all of those principles, everything in the book, brings you closer. But I often wonder if so called ‘successful people’ don’t have these things more by nature. And why I have to struggle so hard. And why I’m still ‘not there’.

But time will tell. And yes, I’m getting stronger, more confident. And recently even more money came in. So somehow it works, somehow it’s starting to work.

So be confident. And persistent. And keep believing.

No matter what.