Tag Archives: Desire

Birthday

Today felt like the birthday of my biggest project ever. As it seems some people are starting to believe in my ideas, where when I had them and wrote them down and such they kind of felt like crazy and impossible ideas, even though somehow I believed they made sense or could make sense.

And I just had some kind of spiritual experience, seeing, feeling how the Universe lines up or can line up things like what I had in mind one or two years ago. As today it started with a scared dog who I am trying to befriend and shortly after a Jeepney driver or conductor noticing me and offering me a ride in the right direction. And then I was kind of lost with my planning, as my first meeting didn’t push through, but somehow following my feeling, trusting Infinite Intelligence, I ended up, after quite some intermediate things, events, in a meeting where somehow someone seemed to pick up the idea I have in mind, or at least the part that would affect him, would affect his job, his employer.

And then later I realized how indeed everything comes together, like someone giving me the book of Napoleon Hill, me liking the book, my company and relationship in ruins. And then the Limketkai family building the highest building, the largest hotel in Cagayan de Oro City. And all kinds of people building malls in Cagayan de Oro City. And indeed,the Philippines being poor, having many poor people and Cagayan de Oro City begin a bit ‘worse’ than The Philippines in general. As all of those things and I guess many more were inputs to my idea.

Ah, yes, indeed amazing how The Universe lines up. And yes, in the end it even just boils down to love, to me wanting to be happy together with my partner. As for me in the end that’s the driver for everything, the ‘romantic love’ type of thing that I guess we all want and I guess we would all do anything, everything for ‘love’.

The impossible becoming possible

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Am becoming more and more amazed that some of the things I thought about and wrote about one or two years ago, which seemed to be completely crazy and impossible at the time I thought about it and did some initial action on, right now somehow are coming to life, somehow seem to at least become possible, a possibility.

And still, behind this are somehow the ideas of Napoleon Hill, the idea of having a definite purpose in life and writing it down, the idea of never giving up, the idea of just starting again if the whole thing falls apart or if you miss a date. The idea of Infinite Intelligence helping when you believe and persist in what you want. And yes, also one of his quote that is almost always on my mind: “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed on an equal or greater benefit.” – Napoleon Hill.

And it’s a whole site of ideas coming together that helps me now. As e.g. this quote of Napoleon Hill, together with the idea of Abraham Hicks that everything is energy and that there is a continuous flow of energy coming to all of us, makes me kind of see inside that I can convert any energy flowing to me in a positive way. As I since a few weeks, months, just imagine any negative energy coming to me being being converted by me into something positive by me. So if someone is angry with me e.g., is sending negative energy, I just ‘take’ this energy and flow it out in a way that I consider positive.

And yes, what keeps it all together is the desire document I wrote, now almost two years ago. As slowly virtually everything that happens to me is fitted in this desire document. And as the document is stated in a positive way, everything that happens becomes some kind of opportunity towards the goals I stated in my desire document. So in the end it’s also ‘just’ some kind of psychological effect, writing and reading (aloud) something like a desire document.

And no, I can’t fully explain how it works, or at least how it worked and works for me. And yes, while writing this I realize my desire document even has kindled my desire, the thing I thought I didn’t have or didn’t have anymore. And yes, there is something like autosuggestion going on here.

So as of now, even though I still don’t feel happy and certainly not successful, I can certainly recommend you start with making your own desire document. You can even use the back-end of the site now to make a start with that, as the basic steps for making a desire document are available now in the tools section of this site. And even though that part of the site is still very limited, you may just want to put your data, your definite purpose and what you are willing to give and a date there. Just to start on the road to your success.

Forcing things

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I still have the feeling I am forcing things. And not like Abraham Hicks suggests first wait for inspiration so I can take inspired action. Like the last few months every day I finish my daily planning, my daily to-do list. But not by heart. I just finish it because I somewhere somehow decided that that may be a way to success. But it doesn’t feel like it, it has no relation to any desire or something like that. And yes, somehow it related to my definite purpose. As somehow I believe that learning to plan and ‘work the plan’ will help me achieve success, will help me to get more money. And I believe I need the money to achieve the major goal or goals in my desire document. But no, I don’t feel happy, I don’t feel inspired, I don’t feel inspiration, I don’t feel desire.

So what’s going on here? It seems I still keep doing the same thing over and over again. It seems my life is repeating the same type of habits and unhappiness over and over again. And I am thinking now of the suggestions of Lynn Grabhorn, also based on the ideas of Abraham Hicks, based on the ideas of the Law of Attraction. As in one chapter she describes how people in general have given up on their dreams, on their desires. As they are just living life as how they are taught how life is supposed to be.

And yes, for the last few months I have been trying to go back to the dreams of my youth, of my childhood years,of my teenager years. And I kind of know what those dreams were. Like just having a stable job, a stable relationship. Something like ‘just fitting in’. But that didn’t happen. As I was gay, so finding a relationship was not easy, much more difficult than for heterosexual people. You just have less chance to find someone, you know? As if you like someone you don’t only need to figure out if that person likes you too, but you also have to figure out if he or she is gay.

And I was intelligent and technical. So of course I would be an engineer and have stable job and just have a decent, stable income. So yes, I went to university and got a masters degree in mechanical engineering. But over time I experienced that being intelligent and having a masters degree is not enough to survive in a job, in a business. No, you need to have social skills and stuff and somehow I don’t seem to have those, at least not enough.So I lost my job for whatever reason, no matter how I loved what I did and no matter how hard and honest I worked. And that was the start of a self fulfilling prophecy about losing jobs, as somehow I was scared of losing my job. And yes, as Napoleon Hill also states, fear is one of our biggest enemies, maybe even our biggest enemy.

And being very persistent, or maybe just stubborn, I kept going, with relationship and with work, with career. But somehow I was damaged too much, or didn’t fully understand what it’s all about. And as of the moment both career and relationship are in ruins. And related to those also finance, meaning I feel I can’t move anymore.

And yes, I was there, I let it all happen. And yes, I found Think and Grow Rich and am still working from it, still believing, or maybe struggling, to find success, financial as well as in relationship. Or maybe just finding, or better looking for, success in life. But time is running out and I’m still unhappy, very unhappy.

So what’s going on, as I know so much, how to do it all, how to achieve success and things. And yes, somehow deep down I still have those dreams of what I really want. But I just don’t feel it. And that’s where indeed it all seems to stop. If you don’t have the desire or just ‘don’t feel it’, you don’t go anywhere, you just don’t know get anything.

So maybe indeed first go back to my desire, go back to what I really wanted in life, what I still really want in life. And I know, as that’s so simple, or at least I thought it was: just have a life time romantic relationship with one person, yes, including developing my and my partner’s sex life, and just have a job you like and just have some spare time and money to enjoy holiday type things.

So simple it seems. But apparently it’s not.

Bruce Lee give and receive

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Letter of Bruce Lee to himself. I am still subscribed to some of the kind of self help sites from the beginning of my journey with Inspiration for Success. And while I somehow believe often they are a bit too commercial, sometimes I click a link to ‘read the full story’. So today I got an e-mail from http://authenticnumerology.com that got my attention: Bruce Lee give and receive. And I am not sure if the story is true, but I guess so. And it fits exactly the ideas of Napoleon Hill, so I just wanted to share it. The story is that Bruce Lee wrote a letter to himself in 1970, stamped “secret”, with the following text: “By 1980 I will be the best known Oriental movie star in the United States and will have secured $10 million dollars… And in return I will give the very best acting I could possible give every single time I am in the front of the camera and I will live in peace and harmony.”. And it seems that’s what he did, although I don’t remember when he died and how much money he had in 1980. But we all know he was a famous and probably the best Oriental movie star in The United States (ever?).

So I searched the internet for that statement and found some sites that confirmed it. Together with some more advice, like it’s not only about the statement, you have to live it, plan it.

Letter of Bruce Lee to himself. And it inspired me to re-read my desire document. And while reading it I realized that it needs some updates. As I missed some date. Yes, you read this well, I missed some dates. But no matter what, it is still the most important document I ever wrote. As I am starting to live it, it is just me, now, nothing more, nothing less. AND I WON’T CHANGE IT, at least not the basics, not the original idea, the original thing I stated as my definite purpose, the original thing I decided to give, even though I adapted the ‘giving part’ a little as the very first original statement was just too much, like fully giving myself away, which is not the right thing to do. And I won’t change the plan, the ways to achieve my original purpose, even though they don’t really sound like a plan, but more like another goal or definite purpose. BUT THE DOCUMENT IS MINE, I OWN IT NOW. And keep in mind, what I wrote here quite some time before, when I wrote it, my definite purpose were completely impossible. Literally impossible, at least that is what I believed when I first set my basic goal.

And right now I am living the document, on my way to my goals, on the way to my definite purpose. So don’t wait, write down what you want and don’t forget to state what you’re willing to give. You can even do that right now in this site by registering or logging in: login or register.