Tag Archives: Discipline

Stopping?

Somehow I am thinking about stopping writing every day, but somehow I also decided to continue to write every day. So I think the main issue is to make my posts, the things I write, interesting again, more interesting or just inspirational. As often I find myself, like now, late at night ‘having to’ write my daily posts, send the daily inspirational e-mail and update my gratitude diary. And this ‘have to’ often has nothing to do with writing for you, with the history and the purpose of this site, this blog.

So yes, while writing I know I am going to continue. As that’s just something I decided. But I have to find a way to make it more inspiring, for you as well as for me. As this is not really working, although I still believe that if I write every day for two years Google will start seeing this site as more serious. And that is also kind of the way I started to write, like ‘anything will do’ as long as it is original content and related to the site, to the subject. And in a way I still believe that is true, but I just want to do more and also enjoy it more.

But not easy with no real feedback (yet). And there may be various reasons for that, but I think still one of the reasons is that the site just doesn’t show up in Google enough yet. And another reason is that the content is just not interesting enough. And still another reason is that the tools are not good enough yet.

But  yes, the longer I work on this project, the more I admire all those people, all those bloggers who write all these serious blogs. And write every day, or every week, or at least regularly. Because it is not easy to do that, even though right now I know I have developed the habit of writing every day, here and in my more personal Dutch blog. And the more I am working on the tools, or not working that much on them, the more I realize that also that is not as easy as I thought As today I had planned some small extensions, but it was late and I was only able to work very shortly on it. And I made hardly any progress, even though I worked in my normal working speed. So I also admire all those people making tools in other sites. As that often takes much, much more time and effort than one would think. As it seems it is with most things in life.

So yes, maybe I have been too hard on myself, maybe you have been too hard on yourself. As most things that appear so easy if we see other people do it, apparently effortless, come with a lot of effort and time spent. And come with developing habits. And come with persistence. And yes, I also believe things come easy, or relatively easy if you do it inspired, as Abraham Hicks teaches it. So yes, easy, kind of effortless. But not without effort and a lot of time and a lot of persistence.

Being flexible

It was not really easy to skip my posts and the sending of my daily quote and the update of my gratitude diary yesterday. Or maybe it was, as I just did it, especially keeping myself from sending the daily quote yesterday, which I could have relatively easily done. And behind it is still fear I think, fear of letting go of the routine of ‘planning the work and working the plan‘. But somehow I have the feeling that I am overdoing things, that I am too rigid in following my plan, my daily to-do list. And what triggered me thinking that was a remark a few weeks ago of a friend of mine, something like that he would leave me behind, let me alone if I really wanted to push through with meeting someone who skipped a meeting we had planned because he was sick. And yes, that was the first time or one of the first times that I really didn’t make my daily planning, really could not check an item on my list as ‘done’. And no, I don’t think it hurt me in my discipline really, maybe even the opposite, although I’m not fully sure. As somehow I continued making my daily plan and doing the things I planned for the day, maybe even more conscious than before. Actually it made me think a lot about being rigid or flexible and somehow it gave me more options, more choices.

And yes, somehow it still makes me scared that I am now able to indeed decide NOT to finish my daily to-do list. As I did yesterday, as I had decided to attend a funeral, meaning I left Wednesday end of the afternoon and returned today, Friday morning, as I had to travel for around eight hours to the city where the family lives,where I spent most of yesterday attending the funeral, including preparations and aftermath.

So maybe it did or does take courage NOT to do things, like not to send my daily quote yesterday and not to write my posts and not to update my gratitude diary. And yes, it still makes me feel a bit scared, as I no have given myself the option to NOT finish my daily to-do list.

But even while scared, scared of falling back to not doing things anyhow, no matter whether I planned them or not, somehow I have the feeling I gained some flexibility, lost some of my rigid thinking by indeed allowing me to be flexible, even where the cost is NOT doing the things I planned, so not working the plan.

But it made me more human, as being a human being you can’t control everything. And you certainly need to take the time to be with family, friends, to share a loss like the death of a loved one.

Add New Post

Mmm, no clue what to write about today. I already wrote about my post office experience in my Dutch post and also found a quote related to post office, so not sure if I should continue here about post office. Or maybe just call it quits as I am still a bit sick, hardly slept the last few nights because of that, because of my coughing and I think I did enough for today. And of course I finished everything I planned for the day as usual lately.

Maybe just emphasize the humanification I am looking to bring (back) in the world. Let’s make the world more human again and let policies and procedures serve humans, not the other way around.

Somthing changed, somehow

Something changed, somehow. And I’m not fully sure if it will bring me happiness, but probably (some) success. As today I was sick and somehow still went to work and finished my daily to-do list. And even some more things. So somehow the habit I developed related to planning and discipline seems to be very strong.

And don’t get me wrong, I didn’t even force myself. On the contrary actually, as I took quite some breaks and at a certain moment just stopped. And at a certain moment I even felt like I had a lot of time left today, kind of unusual, as normally I often feel I don’t have time enough on a day, even if I didn’t plan so many things, like also today.

And no, I was not really ill, as to have to stay in bed, but just have a cold or something. So I could do the things I had planned for today. And the strange thing is that after Friday, when I missed my planning, which was a big deal for me, I missed another item on my planning on Saturday. A small item, that I kind of did half, but nonetheless, I missed it. And it worried me a bit, but somehow when I found out and also today I feel that I have a lot more confidence, confidence that I won’t let go anymore of this system of planning and discipline.

And even more strange is that today I even improved my planning further, like putting my pile of papers in a folder, where I was amazed that I finished my little goals that I had planned for June 14, 2014 or so already finished.

And no, I am still not really happy, there are still some major things in my life that I would like to see changed before I can feel really happy (again). But somehow these things I learned over the last one and a half year make that I feel that I have more control over my life. And yes, that even gave me some more happiness today.

But I think the main thing I gained was a lot of self confidence. And that was probably the main thing lacking in my life.

And don’t forget these things didn’t come easy. It all started with the deepest down in my life and from there started with ‘just’ making the bed. But the last I did every day, ever since. And that’s what me often keeps me going if I am down. So
please start small.

Late and planning and discipline

It is strange to see how somehow my behavior changed with planning and discipline. As it is very late right now and I even forgot one of the items on my list today. Unfortunately it was not a big thing so I just finished it in a few minutes.

And the weirdest change is that I don’t question anymore whether I’m going to do things or not. If I planned it as a real to-do item without any maybe or something, I’ll just do it. And staying at a party tonight was in that way also a deliberate choice. I just balanced enjoying at the party against still writing this post tonight, sending my daily quote and updating my Dutch blog right now, after this.

And yes, sometimes I will just minimize things, like just writing a short post here. Or indeed if it is very late or if I get the feeling I planned too many days on a day I will also shorten the time I planned, or the effort. And sometimes, very sometimes even do things ‘in the spirit’ and not really as I think I ‘should’ do them. But the last is very rare.

So yes, something has changed, somehow. Somehow I have developed a habit of finishing things. And I’m still not sure if I’m really happy with it or if it really will bring me success, but something changed and somehow it feels good.