Tag Archives: God

South Pole

South Pole speed record I was just watching a documentary about an expedition to the South Pole to break some speed record reaching the South Pole in a vehicle. And there are two things in my mind right now, as I also just wrote to someone that somehow if God or Infinite Intelligence or whatever Higher Power is in charge of our life in the end does not want something to happen it won’t happen. But while watching the documentary I also realized that if you just push through, if you just persist, you can get what you want. And the documentary did not show the end of the record attempt as it kind of stopped at a severe moment of breakdown and I can’t find a confirmation straight away of what happened after on the internet, but I only know this, that if you push through you will succeed, no matter what. And looking at the images right on http://www.jasondecarteret.com it seems they made it, as it looks they are putting or showing a flag on the South Pole.

Anyhow, there seems to be some weird contradictory thing here, as I indeed believe that if God does not want something, or does want something, it won’t or it will happen. But I am also starting to believe more and more that if you really push through with something, if you really persist, you will get it.

But yes, watching the documentary I kind of saw that things that often appear so logical, so ‘successful’ don’t come easy and that you mostly or always go through an awful lot of breakdowns and setbacks. So it gave me courage again to push through with the things I want, no matter the setbacks and no matter that lately I got the feeling again that nothing seems to change, that I am further away from what I want than ever before, although slowly I don’t believe the last anymore, as I keep on moving and didn’t change my goals anymore. Strange, isn’t it? Or isn’t it?

Writing inspiring

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My mind is still with a recent post of Leo Babauta. And about how Alden Tan writes. And Marc and Angel. And many more famous bloggers. As they all seem to write in a way I recognize, and obviously many people recognize. And as they seem to have a large audience. And yes, their stuff is often, mostly, inspirational. And I believe my stuff is mostly not. And I don’t have a lot of followers, hardly any, I guess.

And yes, I realize most of them started quite a while ago, when it was much easier to get a blog started. As there weren’t so many yet. And yes, I know they have a different focus, mostly spend a lot of time on their blogs, their sites, where for me it’s just a sideline. And yes, they want to be writers, where I don’t think I want to be, although of course with my everyday writing I am.

So I am often wondering how ‘they’ can convert their bad experiences, their mishaps, their ‘what life throws at them’ in some kind of positive message. As I have difficulty with that. As I often just don’t feel good. So it doesn’t feel good to only tell half my story, just the nice stuff. And until now I didn’t find any real solution to be more happy, to do better. So it seems I just end up in complaining how bad life is or how bad I feel. And indeed, I guess that’s not very inspiring to read.

So yes, I also often wonder how ‘they’ have felt when their traffic went down, when things didn’t seem to move. And what they did, like if they were able to write about that, about how bad they felt.

And then again, I am starting to ask myself how real all those positive stories, those positive quotes are. And if it is really true if you can ‘get there’ with determination or hard work. Or something else. And I am starting to realize that it is all much more personal than what you just find on the internet. As I know in my case that ‘hard work’ didn’t work, until now, even though I also did some test where I found that my feeling about working hard does not match ‘reality’. And I am starting to believe that indeed if God or Infinite Intelligence or your Higher Power, or whatever name you have for that which is bigger than us, does not cooperate, does not want something for you, you can do whatever you want, follow all the advice of all people in the world, whether successful or not, but it won’t happen.

So maybe indeed, before you do anything, first pray, or meditate, find calmness. But yes, that is indeed, also, what I find everywhere, in all advice. So maybe that’s the common thing, maybe that’s the common start.

Leave it to the Universe

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I never really believed in ‘leaving things to God’ or something. Or I never knew how to do that. But recently it seems I am more able to do that, and the results are amazing, like I am complaining less to other people and often outcomes are just stunning. Like earlier this week I had to wait a long time in the bank and I was a bit annoyed with it. But after leaving the bank I just bumped into some friends who passed by. Or actually they bumped into me. And it was nothing really special meeting them, but it was special realizing that my waiting in the bank had made it possible to meet them, for them to see me and stop and say ‘hi’.

And also today I was a bit annoyed as my partner and a visiting cousin wanted to go to the movie and I actually didn’t want to go as I still had a lot of unfinished things on my daily list. And amazingly the movie was not scheduled yet, so they decided we would not watch a movie. And then again I was a bit annoyed as my partner wanted to buy DVD’s in the city, so another time lost. Or so I thought. But while on the way I remembered I still wanted to see someone to finish a business deal who is often near the place where my partner normally buys DVD’s. So I asked them to drop me, which they did, and you already can guess that the person I wanted to see was there and was available to discuss the things I wanted to discuss.

And again, normally if my partner is at that place, he wants to stay longer than me. But not today, as after one beer he said he wanted to go home as he was tired. And that was also where I wanted to go.

So by just looking up, closing my eyes, and trusting ‘The Universe’ (and not complaining to others) I got everything I wanted, including some spare time, as I came home and felt kind of sick, interpreting this that it was time to rest and re-plan my unfinished things for today. And again, it really was like it ‘came to me’, the thought it was enough for today, that it was time to be flexible and not stubborn, not stubbornly finish my things until deep in the night.

So amazing what happens, if you let go of the control, if you just leave things to God, to The Universe, and not complain so much anymore. As things then just come to you.

And yes, I remember now, that I got a strong message yesterday or so, that help is on the way. And today I wanted to force that, but something in me said that I just need to trust and wait, and not try to force it. As that just doesn’t work. Which doesn’t mean taking action is wrong or so, or not needed. But indeed, only inspired action seems to work and any uninspired action seems to be doomed to fail.

So yes, take action, but only if you feel like it, only if you feel inspired.

Bad mood, good mood

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So I had this bad mood yesterday (and the days before). And last night I couldn’t sleep, so I went out again, played a bit and went too bed again. And of course I woke up very late today, only to find two messages, one from a customer to pick up a check and one from Mitsubishi Cagayan de Oro that I could pass by again to take some pictures as the (my?) black Pajero is due for release this afternoon. And I felt a bit annoyed as I had only about one hour to get there and I also wanted to bring my partner to take the pictures. And knowing especially my partner I would never make the scheduled time.

But then suddenly a whole world opened for me, as I realized that everything is okay, that whatever time I would arrive would be okay. As it is not me who arranges everything, it is God or The Universe or Infinite Intelligence in charge of everything. And I am still home and a bit anxious, a bit annoyed as my partner is still not prepared and on the phone with some issue he has been talking about for the whole week with all kinds of people. An issue that doesn’t make sense to me and an issue I don’t understand he spends so much time and energy on. But I realize more and more that all these events have a reason and that it would be okay if I were late and the Pajero would be gone. Or it would be okay if it’s still there. And it would be okay if I arrived just when the owner is about to pick it up, where in that case the delay would just mean that it was meant I meet the owner.

And yes, I have a choice as I could push my partner now more if I would really want to go and be in time. Or I could go or could have gone earlier as I woke up just in time to be there at the indicated time. But I did not do that and yes, I still feel a bit anxious, but I think that has more to do with dealing with my partner than with this specific issue.

So while thinking, and that was the reason why I started this post, I realized (again) that there have been and are being set up so many things by, well, The Universe. As my waking up late and the check being ready and the car ready for release and the owner scheduling time today and, and, and… So life is indeed some kind of dance of all kinds of things coming together and making ‘reality’ real, making life happen as it happens. And yes, including my decision of not to push my partner and not going down myself.

And yes, that makes me think more and more about predestination or not, like if I, if you, if people really have a choice. And of course that brings me to The Matrix, where it is stated many times that ‘the problem is choice’. And a book I read recently about the universe in a scientific way states a bit the same, and in my opinion it all goes down to something like ‘who is the observer’. But is the observer not just ‘consciousness’, universal consciousness? And are humans not some kind of expression of that universal consciousness? Who will know and I doubt if we will ever know, but somehow it is very exciting and at the same time mysterious.

But my partner is almost ready, so I guess we’ll go soon.

To be continued…

No need, thanks

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Strange, how the Universe works. Or God, if you prefer that, if you believe in that. As just now someone complained to me about something I had posted in Facebook and was kind of asking me, pushing me, ‘as we are friends’, to delete it. And I didn’t really like it, as to me it was a genuine comment on something he had posted. But somehow I decided to give in to the request and remove the comment. As somehow I had the feeling that for ‘Filipino friendship’ reasons that would be the right thing to do.

And then, somehow we continued chatting. And somehow we ended up me sharing about the problems I have in life, with business and with my partner, even though these two things are quite related, as it is mainly about ‘finance’, about income, about how my/our business is doing.

And it was strange, as this person is not a really close friend of mine, even though he related to ‘friendship’. But I guess, again, this is something Filipino, and I am trying to learn, trying to understand more about that.

So I found myself sharing a lot about my problems, basically my relationship problems. And he was just listening, responding to that. So yes, after quite a while I realized it was all about me. And I realized I was tired, as I guess these things are quite emotional for me. Yes, of course they are emotional for me, as these are things I have been struggling with for a long time and I never found a real solution to them, except starting this huge project that is supposed to, well, make me rich and finally make me successful. But that is future and for now I still believe the best option for my, for our daily needs is my knowledge and experience with ‘anything internet‘.

So I found myself getting very tired and wanting to stop the conversation. So I told him. And then I realized this conversation had mostly been about me. And that is sensitive for me, as my partner often says that my conversations are mostly about me.

And of course he understood, he agreed. So he just wished me goodnight. And then I realized that it had been most or all about me. So I said ‘I hope I can do something back’. And the reply was very simple: “No need. Thanks.”. And that hit me. As something was just given to me, for free, no questions asked, no returns asked, no favors asked. Where I often think people don’t give things to me, for free. And where I think I give a lot, without getting anything in return. But that is not true. As I do get things, and no, not in return. I just receive things, things just given to me. Like tonight.

So I felt very grateful, for this friend listening to me, spending his time with me. So yes, thank you <name better kept private>. And thank you, Lord, as I felt very grateful for this unexpected chat, this unexpected friendship.

Yes, the Lord, the Universe has strange ways. As it all began with a complaint, with some kind of ‘negative’. And it ended up sooooo positive.