So the last few days, weeks, or maybe even months I slowly stopped. And the last days I kind of really consciously stopped, stopped kind of everything. As it seems all those things like discipline and habit and Principles of Success and desire document don’t seem to work, didn’t seem to work.
I even kind of stopped the sending of my daily quote, something pretty serious to me. And the writing here, but that didn’t seem to have so much effect or influence.
And it all kind of started with the Coda meetings I am participating in. As that seems to be the first thing ever that kind of makes me feel that something is happening, that something is improving.
And I am not sure if I am right, but it may be the worst advice to someone who is codependent, to work on things like ‘discipline‘ and some or most of the Principles of Success, although the Principles of Success also recognize things like the power of love, romantic love, and something like Infinite Intelligence.
So realizing more and more that I could’t do it, can’t do it, can’t do anything on my own, with my own little human power, a few days ago I decided to give ‘everything’ to God and wait, stop, do nothing anymore.
And it was hard, as I still have work to do, still have no clue how to pay the bills two months from now and desperately looking for love, a new partner, or maybe my current, old partner.
But I just couldn’t, I couldn’t go on forcing and forcing things, something I always do, did. But more importantly, something that doesn’t work, didn’t work.
So here I am, a few days after my ‘giving over’, wanting to share some of my experience.
And not sure what to share, but slowly I started to feel some more freedom, slowly I started to do things, but only things I felt like doing, nothing forced, including not doing some of the items I planned, allowing myself to move them, not do them, as it just didn’t feel good.
And today, or actually yesterday or so, I felt like writing again, writing here, writing something. So that’s what I did.