Tag Archives: Blocks

The question

So yesterday I started the overview of self analysis questions. And I am getting more and more amazed how many self analysis questions there are and it seems I am not even half way. Today’s question is an interesting one: “Do you suffer from any of the Six Basic Fears? If so, which ones?”.

The Six Basic Fears

And right now I don’t even know what the six basic fears actually are, so let’s list them first:

The fear of poverty.
The fear of criticism.
The fear of ill health.
The fear of loss of love of someone.
The fear of old age.
The fear of death.

The fear of poverty

And of course I know I suffer from the fear of poverty. Just read my posts and the rest of this site and you will read about my struggle with poverty. And somehow I got less scared of it as I have more and more the feeling I have nothing to lose anymore. Or actually it’s not that, it’s just that I am getting more and more numb of having borrowed so much that I have no clue to ever pay it back, at least if I stay in this house. The last is also not true though anymore as I have quite some faith that my latest project will pull me out of poverty, bring me riches. So yes, I certainly suffer from the fear of poverty, a lot even.

The fear of criticism

And I am not sure if I suffer so much of the fear of criticism, even though I know now that most of the things I do are because I don’t want to offend other people, am scared of their anger and/or disapproval. So I guess I am suffering from the fear of criticism, even though I am working to be less affected by it, have my own opinion and stand for it. So yes, I guess I suffer from the fear of criticism, probably more than I would want to or think.

The fear of ill health

And after having had a pretty serious accident and getting older I am starting to get some fear about ill health. A bit strange, as I have always been pretty healthy, except for my hay fever. And I never believed older people when they indicated your body changes, can’t do so much anymore, but being fifty one now I must admit it is true, no matter what I believe or want to believe. So yes, also this fear applies to me.

The fear of loss of love of someone

The fear of loss of love of someone is a hard one for me as I am trying to keep my relationship going even though it doesn’t bring me what I want and need. As I keep hoping that with patience and persistence things will work out in the and, but it is starting to last very long now. And I read hope, which I seem to have exchanged for belief right now. So let’s go back to belief and then I’m quite sure it will work out in the end. So is the fear of loss of someone applicable to me? Very much I guess.

The fear of old age

I never had really fear of old age, but being fifty one and not having achieved what I had expected to achieve, not having done what I wanted to do makes me fear there are things I can’t do anymore. The book Think and Grow Rich helped and helps me deal with this a lot, but yes, somehow I am suffering from the fear of old age, although it is more related to ill health, like not being able to do things anymore, especially physically, than fear of old age.

The fear of death

And the fear of death is a hard one as often I want to die, or actually don’t want to live anymore. As I didn’t kill myself until now I guess I suffer from the fear of death, even though it is more like being too scared of the pain when a suicide attempt would not succeed. So it is not so much the fear of death I am suffering from, but more the fear of pain. And this paragraph makes me think, as who wants to die? But my life has been so full of suffering, I tried so hard and it didn’t work out, that indeed I’d rather not have lived as I believe life should be enjoyed, not endured.

And yes, somehow I also enjoy life as I learned more than most people I guess, especially the last few years when I felt really poor, so poor that I feel I can’t move, I can’t live (as I am merely surviving).

Conclusion

And I want to conclude this post that the question of today makes me think, think how I improved a lot related to fear, to the fears mentioned. And that indeed came all from reading this single book: Think and Grow Rich.

So thank you, Napoleon Hill. You are still giving me the courage to move on, to try to get to a better life, to try to get the riches I am looking for and need, the riches probably everybody is looking for and needs.

Photos

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Well, it doesn’t happen often, but last night I was so tired and so late that I just went to bed and let the daily tasks related to Inspiration for Success for what they were and also my regular meeting with my virtual private cabinet. And thinking about the last, some strange things have happened lately. As the ordering of the seats, the people around the table has changed. And that just happened through the initiative of some people who wanted to sit closer to me, at the head, the end of the table. And while writing it were indeed the stronger personalities who just took their place closer by and kind of forced the other people more to the back. So it is true what Napoleon Hill describes about things like this. That the images you create in your mind kind of come alive by themselves. And yes, I am wondering if there is some real relation with those people related to some remark I read from Napoleon Hill about that.

Ulla and YokYok So no progress with my self analysis questions as I just wanted to put some photos here I made with my new smartphone, my new camera. And one of the things I always wanted was to have some more photos of the dogs, so I’ll put one next to this paragraph, even though I didn’t make the photos I had in mind. But it is a start and right now it is dark and I noticed the flash is not so strong or something as photos made in the dark are not that clear.

Selfie And I tried to make a ‘selfie’, something I heard a lot about, but never did as I didn’t have a suitable device for that. And it doesn’t look that good I think, but I’ll just share it here. And with ‘doesn’t look good’ I mean that apparently I didn’t look in the lens and my eyes are closed, but I have the feeling that has partly to do with that the camera was so close to me and that a flat lens may not be as good as a ‘real’ lens, although apparently technology progresses very fast. And somehow I was pleasantly surprised that this ‘app’ thing I never wanted to deal with is able to put photos I make straight into Dropbox so they are available automatically on my computer shortly after I make them. So there are advantages of a smartphone above a normal camera. I still hope for the normal camera though, although for now I can at least share things more visually.

And no, I don’t really plan to use my smartphone privately, like using Facebook all the time, be online all the time. And for now I pretty well managed, but again, I am making good use of my phone/camera for my business as I was able to support my internet marketing project with posting photos in Facebook.

So well, somehow I am making progress, somehow things are changing, as my main project is going well and as also yesterday I got a payment from a new customer. But yes, all of this made me feel very tired, exhausted even last night. And I am still tired, but slowly getting back to normal.

Strange day

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It was a strange day today for several reasons. The first was that I skipped my Inspiration for Success activities last Saturday, something that happens rarely. And I could have done it relatively easy, but I just didn’t feel like it, set some other priorities. And I felt a bit bad about it, but somehow when I was out with friends Saturday evening I decided that was more important. And when I came home I decided that it was just too late or that I was just too tired or whatever.

And I am a little bit worried about it, as recently it happened a few times that I didn’t do my daily Inspiration for Success things as I am scared that I am not disciplined enough anymore. And there may be some truth in that, but I also know that sometimes, or maybe even often, I am overdoing things.

The second reason for today being a strange day was that I felt pretty sick again. Not really sick like the beginning of last week, when I really felt like having fever and needed to rest, but my head just feels like being filled with cotton buds or something and I can’t(?!) really keep my mind focused on things like work; or writing blog items.

And more reasons I don’t really know anymore as I just feel too sick, too lousy to continue with this post. So let’s just call it quits and do better tomorrow.

Self analysis, question 10

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Well, the question “Are you envious of those who excel you?” sounds like a full yes for me, although I am not fully sure now if I understand the question correctly as I am especially envious of people who are more famous or richer than I am. Or maybe better stated, I am envious of those who are more successful than I am.

And thinking a bit further I am especially envious of the people who have better social skills, people skills than I have, and as far as I may believe others that would be the majority of the people.

And while writing this I realize it is less simple than my perception, than what I see. As there are probably people who are envious of me, who think I excel them. And I know I am more intelligent than average, so I guess people would be or could be envious of that. And I still live in a very big house, so I am pretty sure many people are envious of that, although that has nothing to do with excelling.

And in my mind is something that I read (again) recently, that we humans tend to compare our inner self, how we see ourselves, with the outside of other people. Which means that we don’t see how other people actually feel or where they actually stand.

And well, if I have to be open I guess I should write about some people I am really envious of excelling me and the first is my ex-partner. As what I see and know is that he has a much more ‘normal’ life than I have after we separated. And he is doing the things, yes, now with his new partner, we were supposed to do together. So from the outside he has everything I thought I would have, everything I dreamed of. So yes, I am very jealous and I feel very, well, humiliated that I, who is the more intelligent and ‘better’ person fell down so deep where he is doing pretty well. And I am very ashamed towards him, that I didn’t manage to build a decent life and he did. And that goes so far that I am scared of him, don’t dare to meet him anymore. And I know I need to do something with that, as I guess we are both human and both did the best we could.

And that brings me to the fact that I feel so down, that I don’t understand why I ‘didn’t make it’, or didn’t make it yet. Maybe that makes me feel so ashamed, something like that I have some kind of flaw that makes me a failure.

And yes, where I am now, where I went over the last eight years or so, made me also very humble, as I did what I could and it just wasn’t enough. So there must be more going on than what I do or what I know, as if anybody deserved success it would be me, at least if it depended on hard work and persistence.

So maybe that is what I had to learn, that no matter who you are and no matter what you do, you can still go down in a way you could have never imagined, that you could break all of your rules as circumstances or something are stronger than you.

And I know this goes against the Principles of Success, but I have no other explanation except that there are powers beyond my knowledge, beyond my control, that can make or break things. And yes, I know I have been stubborn and maybe I still am, but no one would understand how I could go down so deep and so quick, or maybe in such a hidden way.

So maybe there is something like ‘luck’, although I still want to prove otherwise, as I still don’t know how to get out of this mess, except pushing through with the things I started. And running away also doesn’t help, didn’t help, so that is no real option for me anymore.

And no clear answer or something, but good I wrote this down.

Self analysis, question 6

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Until now the question “Do you suffer frequently with indigestion? If so, what is the cause” completely didn’t make sense to me, including other references to the word indigestion in Think and Grow Rich as I never had any problems going to the toilet or something, like not being able to digest.

Just now I decided to check what indigestion really means and to my amazement it includes or is mainly related to stomach problems. And the last few months I had quite severe stomach problems, like a burning feeling, even so bad that it affects my sleep, my falling to sleep.

So yes, recently I suffer from indigestion, even a lot. So this question suddenly seems to be related to me, while before I couldn’t relate it in any way to me.

And what I the cause? I have no clue, but I guess it has something to do with some kind of viral or bacterial infection that had gone away after visiting a doctor and taking medicines, but that has come back somewhere during the last week or so, even though the burning feeling has been present for a while now.

So well, something to think about. And maybe something I should have checked after reading Wikipedia.