Tag Archives: Discipline

Amazing

It seems something amazing has happened to me. As where before I tried to finish the things I planned for a day or the things I promised, now I actually do finish them. Or at least do them. And I even finish things that somewhere during the day appear impossible. Like when a week ago the electricity went off somewhere in the evening, I felt like I wouldn’t be able to finish my posts. As often when the electricity goes off at that time it will be somewhere the next morning when it is fixed. So I somehow accepted that I couldn’t finish the things I had planned for the day and went to bed. But the electricity came back around 5 am the next morning and somehow I noticed and finished my posts at that time. And it felt a bit like cheating, but of course it wasn’t.

And today I had a similar experience as I had planned to work on a letter, preferably finishing it. And I didn’t know where the draft was and I needed that draft to at least do ‘something’. And I couldn’t find the draft where I expected it to be, so I felt kind of desperate, but somehow it showed up and I was able to work on it and produce a ‘final draft’, which was within how I stated what I had planned to do. And it feels like Infinite Intelligence is starting to help me with this, as normally I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to finish my posts early in the morning, like being aware the electricity was back and act on it, or just find this document where it was not in the place where it was supposed to be. And right now I can’t even recall where I found it. It feels like it just came to me so I could finish it.

So no, I’m not happy, I’m not there yet. But no matter how bad I can still feel, something seems to have changed, for the good.

And remember, this all came from my deepest down one and a half year ago and with starting making the bed every day.

Plan the work and work the plan

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Wow, today was some day. As I managed to achieve two important things:

Create the very first initial version of the IFS Tools.
Plan a very minimal goal.

And it seems I just finished both, although they were kind of combined. But this being combined was not really intentional. And I am a bit confused right now, as I don’t have a feeling of having achieved something, having achieved something big. And I wrote about that before, as it seems that these kinds of achievements, achievements that require a lot of planning and effort and work, feel like kind of an anticlimax when you finally have achieved them. As I actually just feel tired right now, and even a bit confused. And that’s also what I often see when people achieve an important sports goal, like winning a race. When climbing the, well, whatever the name of the thing is they’re climbing on, they look also mostly just tired, or indeed, maybe also confused. As what I am seeing and experiencing more is that achieving something big just goes in small steps. And I wanted to write today’s post about how I planned for today to achieve a goal, as I want to learn to plan goals, not just activities. And I wanted to start small, so I chose a goal that I thought was very small, the goal of installing the first mini-version of the IFS Tools in this site. As that goal I thought was already practically reached as I had a working version on my local development system. So I planned the last steps, the last activities in detail to achieve the, I thought, very small goal for today: make sure people can register and save and update their definite purpose in https://www.inspiration-for-success.com/. But it was not as easy as I thought, as I am not yet very good with planning activities to make sure I can achieve a certain goal, a certain result. And things often take much more time and effort than I think, so also today. And I tend to deviate from the planning, just do it ‘my own way’, on the fly. But yes, as far as I know I made it. And it’s not perfect and the added value for you I guess is very limited. But I have the technical foundation now and I hope I can extend it very soon to useful tools to help you achieve success, to inspire you.

And no, I don’t feel like celebrating. But somehow I know this is a big day!

And just checking now, and it seems there is still something not okay. Not sure what to do now. Well, I did, as I didn’t reach my goal, the things I planned for today, so no option but to fix, which I did!

What a day!

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Wow, what a day was today. And the day started very bad as i felt very bad when I woke up. And I was kind of scared, scared for the things that I had planned for today. And of course feeling bad made me stay in bed for a while, as usual, as I mostly wake up with a very bad feeling, feeling very bad. And of course that made it worse, made me feel guilty an more anxious, as I know part of the day the electricity is off, also in the city, so it might be off at the lawyer I needed for what I had planned for today. And I didn’t really know another lawyer to do what i wanted to be done, so it had to be this one, preferably. And of course my fear became reality, as the moment I arrived at the lawyer the electricity was off. So he couldn’t check and print the draft statement that I had made and wanted to have notarized.

But that was unimportant, looking back. And you may guess, again today i did all the things i had planned to do, including having this statement finished and notarized and sent. And looking back it wasn’t that bad, and somehow, even though I was late, I had built in quite some safety nets, but maybe more important, I was and am somehow determined to finish the things I am planning for a day. And yes, I am still careful how to plan and state those things, as I want to really make it a habit to finish the things i have planned for a day. And I’m becoming pretty good at it, as today proofs.

And somehow it’s the determination, the knowing that I am going to do something, the knowing that i am going to finish something, that makes it work. As today, despite my bad feeling and my feeling somehow not to want to do what I had planned to do, didn’t stop me. i left the house, yes late, but i left the house on the way to do the things I wanted to do, had planned to do. And no, I didn’t do them efficiently, as it took me part of the morning and most of the afternoon to just finish, print and send two letters. But i did it, and the weird thing was that when I was finished, when the second letter was on the way, I felt very satisfied. And another weird thing was that it hadn’t even taken as much time as I thought it would, even though there were many hurdles like the electricity not working at the lawyer when I arrived there the first time. An another weird thing was that I wasn’t affected that much when I arrived and my biggest fear had become reality. I just got the information and found another way to get done what i wanted to have done. And just continued on my quest on finishing what I wanted to finish, no matter what, like finishing my draft and printing the final product somewhere else. And when I came back the electricity was already back, earlier than expected. So I could have just stayed and have my document finished at the lawyer, which was my original plan. And that’s another weird thing I experienced today, as while being on the way to finish my letters and the document, I just kept thinking about alternatives, like finding another lawyer or finding another way to print, or getting the information I still needed to finish the document.

As I was just determined to finish what I wanted to finish, no matter what!

And yes, that also is still boosting my confidence, my self confidence. As with every day I finish what I planned to do, I feel stronger.

And remember, this is also something i believe you can learn if you want. As most of my life, looking back, I have not been a good planner and certainly not a good finisher. But now I am, even though it is still limited to not so many things on a day and not so risky things. But that’s exactly the point, as most of my life I think i wanted too many things, planned too many things. And that is not very encouraging, if you plan things and you don’t finish them. But now I do and I am proud of what i achieved today. And that is a very good feeling.

So what I want to emphasize is to start small, like I did almost two years ago with just planning to make the bed every day. And that’s a five minute job, but at the time even that was hard for me to finish. But that’s where i started and that’s also what i did, make the bed, every day. And slowly I added some other small things, like just buying something or finishing a small job, either work or private. And I just planned it for the day itself, or maybe the next day, but no further in the future. And i slowly extended that, and at first, when I didn’t manage things, when it was too much, I just planned less. But making the bed I did, every day. And that was what I held on to.

So start small, do only one little thing, one thing you know you can do yourself, one thing you have full control over, every day.

And it’s funny, as while writing this post the electricity went off, so I didn’t finish my things for today, or actually yesterday as it was around four thirty in the morning when the electricity came back. But yes, I guess also today I’ll make it, although it was close!

And the post was a bit longer as not everything was auto saved, but I guess the last paragraph that was there was enough:

Start small, do only one little thing, one thing you know you can do yourself, one thing you have full control over, every day. Or maybe just add to slowly extend this one thing you do, you finish every day. And just go back to the previous level if it’s not enough. Just be slow, start small..

It’s not good enough

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I still suffer from something like “it’s not good enough”. But it seems I’m working on overcoming that, as today I told myself that some of the things that felt like not being good enough indeed were good enough. Maybe even better than anybody could expect. So I guess it was good enough, as again I did everything I planned for today, even fully finished my to do list, which is basically my planning. But I don’t want to talk about that more today, although when I started this site, this blog, I did research and also ended up in a site that deals with “I’m not good enough”: the site of Morty Lefkoe. And I did the ‘free’ belief elimination a long time ago and I thought it was pretty amazing, so I can certainly recommend that. And no, I didn’t add an affiliate code in the link, even though I think I have one somewhere. As that’s not how I want to receive.

So yes, slowly I am beginning to believe that I am good enough, that I am doing enough every day. And with all the little things I started I somehow made a lot of progress in being more self confident. And that’s what I wanted to share today, some of the little things I did over the last one and a half years, learned from all kinds of sites and books:

I make the bed every day. Yes, literally every day. And yes, I think I skipped once or twice because I was not at home or something, but even if I’m somewhere else I’ll still do it. And sometimes I do it late at night, not long before going to bed. But I will still do it. And looking back this must have been the basis for increased discipline. And it has learned me more about how habits work.
A second thing I started some time ago was putting one peso (PHP) in a small container. And to not let me or someone else use it when not really necessary I put a small note in it, on top of the coins saying “Please do not touch until the right time”. And the strange thing is that I started this when I had virtually no money at all. And another strange thing is that I never used it, even though sometimes it’s tempting to just get some change or something. Even more strange is that this small container is overflowing right now, so I’ll have to look for a bigger container, and that where I somehow over time decided to put ten pesos every day instead of one peso. So maybe the right time will never come, although today I used my container with coins to explain something to someone who said he couldn’t do something because he had no money.
A third thing I did, also quite some time ago, was to stick to decisions. And I started with small ones, small ones like “Shall I get gasoline at the next gasoline station or do it tomorrow or do it before going home or doing it right now or…”, because I was always scared of not having enough gasoline. As those type of decisions took an awful lot of deliberation and energy which seemed kind of crazy to me as they were just something like ‘non decisions’, completely unimportant, but they took me a lot of energy and time. So I started just making decisions like “I’ll do it tomorrow”, or “I’ll do it at that and that gasoline station” or “I’ll do it at the very first opportunity“. And I stuck to them. And you know what? Driving got much more relaxed and I never stood without gasoline, even though sometimes my home felt like very far away with the gasoline I decided not to get.
And another thing I started to do was making a daily planning, a to do list for one day, sometimes two. And sticking to it, finishing it, no matter what. And that was a big challenge for me, as I used to plan too many things on one day and also at the time I was emotionally very unstable, often leaving me paralyzed, not being able to do anything, literally anything. And the major thing starting it was to just put some very small things on it I was sure I could finish. Sometimes even something like ‘making the bed’ or ‘reading my e-mail’, nothing more. But that was exactly what I wanted to learn: finishing my planning, my to do list.

And of course there are many things on my mind right now, but two thing stand out. The first thing is that I learned to be much more careful with what I planned and how I phrased it. So with my to do list I often state something like ‘maybe do this’ or ‘maybe do that’, especially if it relates to things I need other people for. And the second thing is that I learned that I can really finish the things I planned, the things I decided to do. And it does not matter how small I started with like planning only one day and later a few days ahead. As today I started planning two weeks ahead, for the first time.

So if you have problems doing things, finishing things, my main suggestion is to

Start Small.

As starting with small things you will be able to really do it, really finish it, which in my experience increased my self confidence a lot. And I notice that over time I made things bigger, like going from one peso per day to ten pesos a day. And starting from only making the bed to add some other small things which I was sure I could finish. And from starting a planning in the form of a to do list for one day to extending it to two days and then four days and now two weeks.

So if you are stuck somewhere, being paralyzed or having no money anymore, make sure to start small. But yes, do start.

Almost there

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Almost there for today, although I’m very tired and have the feeling I am overdoing a bit. But I can still do it and write this post, which is the last but one thing I had planned for today. And yes, I guess I’ll make it a very short one, the same as I can short cut my last planned item for the day. But I did it, no matter what, and this time with a lot less pressure than I used to feel before. This time it feels more like a choice: I can do it and I cannot do it and both is okay.

And yes, in my mind is still the suggestion from someone else, something I read in a book or on a website, that if you can’t do the whole thing, then just start doing 1% of the thing, just to get the feel. And talk about it as if it’s already the whole thing. So that’s always kind of an escape I have if I run short in time for the things I planned to do, but I hardly ever need that escape as I became much more careful in planning.

And for those people who don’t know, I used to be, and I guess I still am, very chaotic and not so disciplined. And becoming more disciplined also came with a very simple trick: making the bed every day. That’s also something I read somewhere and someone once made kind of a negative remark on it. But for me it seemed and seems to work.

So start with little things and try to extend them slowly (if you want). And if you don’t make it, don’t beat yourself up. That’s it.