Tag Archives: Infinite intelligence

Self analysis: question 2

I couldn’t really get going the last few days, including today, so I guess the best way to get out of that is just continuing with what I started last week, answering the self analysis questions from the last chapter of Think and Grow Rich.

But before going to that, the second question, there are still things in my mind, like why am I not moving, why do I, well, feel bad? And ‘they’ say it is all in you, in me, but it feels like some external force has taken over, that I am not supposed to do anything, that I am supposed to rest or something. So strange, and kind of contradictory, what is happening and what I am writing about, as I thought it all starts with me, with you, with desire and autosuggestion and such. But maybe this self analysis, this second question, will give more clarity, so let’s just go to that.

And the second question is “Do you find fault with other people at the slightest provocation?”. And I guess answering that, thinking about that may indeed give some answers. As I notice more and more that I blame other people and circumstances for the situation I am in, that I (still) act like a victim, that I still feel helpless, helpless in getting what I want, helpless in getting what I want in life, helpless getting what I want from life.

So yes, I often find fault with other people. Or maybe even always. Not sure if that is related to provocation or something, but I guess there must be something to that, otherwise Napoleon Hill wouldn’t have included that in the question.

I am turning that around by the way, the fault finding, as I see more and more that what other people do or want or think has nothing to do with me. So why would I feel provoked with anything someone else says or does or thinks?

And not sure what else to write, to answer related to this question, except maybe that I am thinking a lot about things like who I am and what I am doing here on this earth, in this life and if there is indeed some kind of Higher Power I have to answer to. But while writing the last immediately the question arises why I have been given the power of choice, or don’t I have a real choice? Yes, I have, as I could sell the house and immediately solve my financial problems, but I choose not to, as I believe things will be better, as I believe somehow I can turn everything around and stay here and enjoy and let other people enjoy.

But it has been too long, and I kind of gave up, although I am still doing things to make ‘it’ work, to get what I want. But I also didn’t give up, as I am still moving, still getting up, standing up, after falling down again.

But yeah, maybe the answer is indeed in some Higher Power, in Infinite Intelligence.

Skipped

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Yeah, yesterday I skipped. Not only my daily post here, but also the sending of the daily quote and the update of my Dutch blog. And that doesn’t happen very often, or stated more honest, very rarely. And I never expected it to happen yesterday, as I was not that busy and kind of took the afternoon and evening off after handling and sending a document that had caused me an awful lot of stress. And not only the document, but the whole situation related to it. So I was also kind of emotionally tired, if not exhausted.

So I ended up with a friend in a bar, where when I was about to leave, go home, my friend asked me if I wanted to join him to go to some other places. And basically as I wanted to please him, but also as it kind of felt good, I decided to join him. And at the same moment deciding that I would skip my daily tasks, my daily habit related to Inspiration for Success. I kind of gave in, gave up, and somehow I think that is good, as I think often I try to be too perfect, which probably also annoys or offends other people.

So I decided to join him and the first venue he chose was Pulse, the local disco. And it had been a long time since I had been in a disco and the music was way too loud for a serious conversation, but the doing nothing and listening to the music and looking around and again, mainly doing nothing, felt kind of good. And my friend was kind of drunk and also did kind of nothing, so I guess it was okay for the both of us, kind of good for the both of us.

And just as I wanted to suggest to go home, or at least find a way to leave without offending my friend, he decided to pay the bill preparing to leave. So I was kind of relieved I didn’t have to take the initiative and offend him, only to find out that after leaving the venue he kind of forced me to join to another venue, a piano bar. And at first I was kind of annoyed, but after entering the venue I was kind of happily surprised as I never expected Cagayan de Oro City to have a piano bar. And according to my friend it had been there longer than I have lived here, so I was really surprised, as I thought I knew most businesses and things like this in the city where I have lived now for more than ten years.

So my evening turned out into a pleasant surprise, especially the visit to the piano bar, which I enjoyed very much, listening to the music, drinking a bit and having a snack. And I guess still talking with my friend, as he had woken up and was much more alive than in Pulse.

So yeah, a pretty bad day turned out to end pretty good, pretty happy.

Tired and enough

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It is pretty late again and my English post, so this one, is the only thing left to do, the only thing left on my to-do list for today, a list that basically was empty, although I think today was important. And I just realize it is not the last thing left to do, as I still didn’t have my daily meeting with my virtual private cabinet. And that meeting has become a problem lately, as often I was just too tired to make it into a useful meeting. And maybe that has to do with that my planning has kind of gone down the drain. And that has to do with the fact that I am starting to believe that I am not in control, that we are not in control of our lives, no matter what many successful people and self help books try to make us believe.

And this is kind of contrary with the ideas of Napoleon Hill, which I believe say something that if you keep trying you can achieve anything you want. And somehow that is true, but there is something more, something you can’t control.

So still struggling what is this secret that makes you happier, that makes life easier.

Tired, tired,tired

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I am very tired, but contrary to my normal tiredness I feel really good as I was somehow pretty busy and achieved many things. And this was not because of persistence, but just because somehow God or Infinite Intelligence was in favor of me or anything that was happening.

So one drawback: I don’t feel like writing anymore. But I do feel good and am happy to share that!

Headache

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I am a bit lost and confused and annoyed as DoctorsConnect is not really being used yet and as I am a bit sick, even have a headache. And my stomach is also still complaining as it lately often does, with a feeling of too much acidity.

And I was just lying down a bit and still thinking about forgiving and what James Altucher wrote about choosing to do the wrong thing, something I read yesterday or a few days ago. And the last came from my Dutch post of today, where I wrote that I choose to stick with wanting a lifetime monogamous relationship with my current partner, where I more and more believe that it is not wise or not practical to combine your sex life with a life partner. But it’s just what I want, even though I now believe it is wrong wanting that. But I decided that long time ago and I just want to make that work.

And related to forgiveness I realized that I don’t believe in ‘wrong’, meaning somehow that I don’t accept my dad, who I think hurt me most, did most wrong to me of all people I know and have known, doing something wrong. And that I don’t believe I am doing something wrong myself. Or did anything wrong in the past.

And while writing this post I got completely lost in some other things, like working on the pages Top Inspirational Sites and Law of Attraction. And I also noticed something changed, today, or maybe the last few days. And I don’t know what it is, but it seems something outside of me. And somehow ‘it’ decides whether I can move or not, should move or not. As when I am down like I was the last few weeks, or at least much more down than I usual am, it seems that no matter what I do, it just doesn’t change. And somehow, some time, whenever I have this feeling of desperation when nothing seems to move, things start moving again. And I still don’t know what it is and if I can influence it. Apparently not, even though I also experienced that your mindset can change your experience.

And yes, I realize I’m writing a chaotic post right now, as next to ‘forgiveness‘ and ‘wrong’ I now added things like Infinite Intelligence and mindset.

So maybe for now just stop and let all of this sink in. And continue tomorrow or something, but I know my posts, my blog is kind of impulsive. And yes, I can add another subject now, as I am wondering if I would be able to find an audience, build a community, around the stuff I am writing, the stuff I am writing my way.