Tag Archives: Understanding

Love yourself

For quite a while I wanted to write here as on certain days I wanted to share something, but somehow I didn’t, somehow it didn’t happen. And today I felt like writing and I started as you can see, but now I don’t really know what to write or how to write it or where to put it. I guess the main reason I started writing today is because I am very much impressed with the work of Louise Hay. As today I listened to one of her tapes and she mentioned some conclusions I also came to by myself, mainly something why many people seem to think or feel they are not good enough. And it seems many of us are just raised like that, raised in the christian tradition about sin and a punishing God and such. And remembering what I also experienced in work environments that I always had to do better. And while writing this I guess had the same attitude to my staff (and to myself) when my company still had staff.

And it still doesn’t fully add up to me as indeed, I want to change, improve myself, get better, be better. But doesn’t that always imply I’m not good enough? Or is change indeed about growth, not about getting better.

Yes, the Universe, everything is changing, continuously, in all kinds of ways, from the very small, the superstrings to the very large, like milky ways; or even smaller or bigger. So what is this universal consciousness and how do humans fit in and how does human suffering fit in there. Like most of my life I felt a lot of pain, emotional pain and I wouldn’t wish that to my worst enemy. And I guess I had more emotional pain than the average human being, but still, while reading a lot of stuff it seems most or maybe even all humans somehow suffer from this pain, whatever it is.

Mmmm, and right now I don’t know where this post goes. And I am starting to feel tired. So maybe just end with something like of course every human being is already good as he or she is just as he or she is. And that there is something like change and something like feeling better.

Self analysis, question 47

Today’s question is “Could it be possible that some person whom you consider to be a friend is, in reality, your worst enemy, because of his negative influence on your mind?”. And again the first thing that comes to my mind is my partner, as he is often opposed to everything I do and often calls me all kinds of things which I certainly don’t consider positive.

But there are other people like this also, as I found out that my mam also seems to have a very negative influence on my mind. And while writing this there may be others.

And this whole thing makes me think that it may be indeed of the utmost importance to close our minds for negative influences of other people.

And I tend to avoid people in those cases, but I don’t think that’s the solution.

So let’s find a shield.

Self analysis, question 31

I just read an early version of my desire document and I realized it is all about hope, at least right now for me. As I passed most of the initial deadlines and my biggest desire is kind of in ruins as of the moment, even though I decided not to give up yet to really achieve it.

And right now I am thinking how important it is to really read my (or your) desire document aloud twice a day or at least regularly, as it keeps your mind focused on what you want and how to achieve it and what you are willing to give. And I didn’t do that for a while as I was scared as some things start to take long, too long for me feeling comfortable.

But somehow just reading it right now again the whole thing just comes back, the thing or things I really want in life, the things I decided to do some two and a half years ago, starting from the ideas of Napoleon Hill. And somehow there may be a reason for reading it now, realizing what is going on now, as lately, especially the last few days, maybe weeks, I was very down and a bit confused, which seems to go back all to fear. And fear is what the end of Think and Grow Rich is all about, as fear seems indeed to be the biggest enemy of all as I see and feel now, especially the last few days, weeks, how destructive fear is or can be, as it seems most of my misery goes back to fear.

And also maybe there is a reason I am going through this right now, as Napoleon Hill writes that in order to conquer something we need to know all about it. And I am starting to know more and more about fear and I see more an more how destructive it is. So maybe I am given this period to write about it or maybe just experience it so I can work on overcoming it, dealing with it.

So let’s continue with the next self analysis question:“Has today added anything of value to your stock of knowledge or state of mind?”. And I think I just confirmed with the above that I did, as I know a little more about fear again and also what effect it has on my state of mind.

So that’s a nice end to this post where I though I was writing about something else than the subject I was planning to write about, but I was wrong.

And yes, maybe worthwhile to ask yourself this question every day, every end of the day. Which may even lead to a good start for the next day, to be aware if the day, the things you are planning to do or are doing, are adding something to your stock of knowledge or have influence on your state of mind. And if it is improving your state of mind or not.

So maybe something to print and put on your desk or your mirror so you can see it in the morning or if you are at work.

Self analysis, question 16

A strange question to me for today as it relates to the origin of Inspiration for Success: “Who has the most inspiring influence upon you? What is the cause?” as I didn’t feel inspired especially by my dad and am slowly realizing that it was not only my dad that kind of killed things in me.

So who has the most inspiring influence on me? Well, the first person that comes into my mind is Donald Trump and the second person is Richard Branson; and third Alden Tan. And then I got a flash of Cesar Millan.

And the above makes me think, like it seems somehow I do have people who inspire me where I thought I had none. And there are more, as also Leo Babauta’s e-mails and posts inspire me.

So who has the most inspiring influence on me? Well, maybe Donald Trump as to me he is rich and famous and kind of ‘manly self confident’. And somehow this is strange as somehow I don’t like him at all. And his story is also not that inspiring as he started quite well off and quite successful as far as I know.

So yes, I am still looking for financial riches and I am still looking for fame. But then what is inspiring about Donald Trump? And what could or should I learn from him? Or what do I want to learn from him?

And the last brings me to that I have more and more the feeling that I have to do it my own way, that I need to stop looking to other people, comparing myself to other people, being jealous of other people. As they are not me and I am not them. I have my unique set of talents and weaknesses and whatever a human being has. And that’s got to be enough to find what I am looking for.

Strange, how this post goes…

Self analysis, question 13

Well, a few days ago when I was doing the previous self analysis question so let’s see what the question for today is. And it is “Do you learn something of value from all mistakes?”.

And this is a hard one as it seems I don’t fully know what’s a mistake, which may sound weird, but I think there is some truth in it, at least for me. And this brings me to do a search for ‘mistake’, which brings me to: “an action or judgement that is misguided or wrong”. And some more: an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc.” or a misunderstanding or misconception”.

The problem is that in my opinion you can’t make a ‘mistake’ as I believe that everybody always does what he or she thinks is best, given the knowledge, experience, etc. he or she has. So looking back I don’t really know what I have done ‘wrong’ anytime, even though there are some things I guess I would have done different, indeed, when looking back.

As today, or actually yesterday, I made a mistake, quite a large one, even a repeated one, but I didn’t know what else to do as it felt and feels like choosing between two bad things, where I chose the easy way out. So did I learn from this mistake and previous similar mistakes? Well, apparently not, as I keep making the same mistake again and again.

But I don’t see any alternative that is better!

But indeed, that is not the question, whether I made a mistake, even if it is the same mistake. The question is if I learned something of value from it. And again, in this case, I don’t think I learned anything of value. I just ‘lost’ and keep losing with this same mistake over and over again. And I tried doing different, but the result was always negative, more negative, at least on short term. And I believe in the long term this mistake and similar mistakes may catch up with me, but until now it didn’t, so until now I just keep getting away with my behavior even though I consider it wrong.

So the only thing of value with the type of mistake of today, the repeated mistake, is that I can get away with it, at least until now. So is it then still a mistake? Or is it a mistake anyhow looking at the definitions above? Like I consider it poor judgement or an error in calculation (figurative calculation), but until now I have been proven wrong as the result has not been negative, except me feeling bad about it.

So is a mistake only a mistake if the outcome is bad? And with this my motorcycle accident from five and a half years ago comes into mind, a motorcycle accident in which I was severely injured, even almost died. And I know now what the mistake was, something like riding a motorcycle at my age without any decent practice in a group, in this case a group of two. So did I learn something of value from it? Yes, I think so, as I would still ride a motorcycle, but not anymore in a group, even though I now know that it is much more dangerous than I thought before the accident. As I also learned something like that every motorcycle rider, literally every motorcycle rider will have an accident in the end, a bad accident where he or she gets badly injured or dies.

And yes, many business mistakes come into mind, and yes, I believe I learned something of value from them, especially the large ones where I lost a lot of money, even that much that I am still suffering from that, still was not able to pay all my dues. So I learned to be more careful, but I still made similar mistakes, even though every time I did better. But not good enough.

And that is where I am very frustrated, as I think I learned a lot, an awful lot, in life, mainly because of mistakes. But I never learned enough to finally do ‘good’, do well, run a business or do a job that brings me and my customers and co-workers happiness, value and money, in other words pleasure.

So well, let’s look a bit closer to the definitions of ‘mistake’ and see if I can recognize mistakes better. As that may be the first step to improvements, the improvements I need so badly.