Tag Archives: Giving

What’s next?

I guess I used this name before, or actually I’m sure as the automatically created link indicates so. So what are we here to do (on earth), what am I here to do? I learned a lot, did a lot, but somehow I still don’t fit, somehow I still don’t add a lot of value, except learning, gaining knowledge. But that doesn’t add anything to other people and also doesn’t add to the world I guess. So what am I here to do?

And I started this site, this project, the project Inspiration for Success as something to give. And I feel like I am giving, as every day I send my daily quote and every day I write my daily post, although I feel like writing ‘every day I write something’ as often lately I feel like my writing doesn’t add much value.

And I know I didn’t chose an easy way, as until now I decided to stick with my model of give and receive. So no earnings from advertising or from selling links or article space. And no camera yet, even though my request for a camera is on every page.

So what’s next? Should I stick with my business model and my complaints related to e.g. Globe and Smart/PLDT, and yesterday to Microsoft? And please keep in mind, I do complain, but I am also doing some serious stuff to get it solved, to improve things, to improve the world, like the letters I wrote to the management of Smart/PLDT the management of Globe and the National Bureau of Investigation. And my questions in Facebook to find out what is the truth behind all the complaints and what is the real story of the telecom industry for implementing volume limits on unlimited plans.

And I think I am doing something good by opposing the script insertion by Globe as I really believe that is unethical so someone has to do something about it.

But until now I have the feeling I am getting nothing in return: no success, no money, no respect, no nothing, although maybe one exception is the e-mails I got from the management of Smart, as they say my suggestions are being taken very seriously.

But while writing maybe I should make some kind of desire document around this. Or indeed re-read my desire document more regularly, as often when doing so I realize this may all be part of it, part of what I want. And that my time of success will come, no matter what, if i only persist and do the right thing with the right intention.

But right now I still believe I deserve some more, some more for all my effort. Effort that is not only intended to make me rich or successful or something, but also intended to improve the world, to help other people, to make other people more happy, to bring more happiness in the world.

And I keep asking myself if all those (other) successful people felt the same, just tired of not getting anything in return for their actions or what they believed in.

What do you believe in? And what do you want? And how can I help you?

Please let me know.

Love what you do

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Just read this quote:

“The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.” – Steve Jobs

And I love what I do, but somehow something is missing and somehow there is too much what I don’t like to do. And while thinking I loved more to be the manager of Active Discovery Designs instead of being the whole of Active Discovery Designs what i am now. As today most of my day was spent on doing all kinds of errands in the city, like doing bank transactions and paying bills. And yes, I kind of like that also, but it meant I arrived home at the end of the afternoon and started working something like 5pm.

Mitsubishi Pajero And looking back I see many of my mistakes, but I also don’t know how I could have done it differently. And that is still what is bothering me, what is keeping me busy thinking: how can I make it work, how can I rebuild Active Discovery Designs in a way that would work. And the image of Active Discovery Designs in my mind is quite clear. I see the building and I see 200 people working there. And I see myself in a black Pajero going there, something like being the CEO, something like managing the whole thing, giving it direction.

But no, I don’t see the management team and the employees. As it seems they are not there, they are not in Cagayan de Oro City, not in The Philippines. So how will I get them here?

Enough

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I’ve had enough, or at least almost enough. And it is getting harder and harder to control myself, to not burst out in anger or something. As last week people cleaning and cleaning and cleaning had already a big attack on my state of being. And yesterday was kind of okay. But today it just feels like it has been enough, that I sacrificed enough. And still so many people who I want to keep happy, here in The Malasag House, so yes, i’ll try to keep my temper down and suppress my feelings, my emotions a bit longer. But it’s getting harder and harder and i feel like I have nowhere to go, as my home is still with people none of whom I invited, even though about half of them I like.

And yes, I liked the party last night and I was especially happy that I think everybody was happy, including me. But the whole thing has taken its toll and its getting harder and harder to control myself. And yes, I like people here in my house. But not so many at the same time and not for days and days and days.

Not always easy to support your partner.

But yes, looking back I think I did a great job so I think I can be proud of myself.

A great day

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I just updated my gratitude page and realize just now that I had a great day, even though there were some things I didn’t like. Like I just had a great conference call with my team. And earlier today I had an interesting conversation with missionaries from the Latter Day Saint movement.

And it seems I have learned something, as before I would just end up in some kind of argument with missionaries of churches like The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or other type of people who want to tell me about (their version of) Jesus Christ or how to live or improve my life by following Jesus Christ. And with my team I would just want something from them, for my own purpose.

But today was different. As I had a very interesting conversation with sister Lacuata and sister Landicho. They even opened up to me a bit, something I have never experienced before in conversations with missionaries trying to convince me their church or belief is the only.

And my conversation with the team of Inspiration for Success was also very enlightening. As before I was just trying to push my own agenda, trying to get my own things done, but tonight I decided to take another direction by asking each of them how I could help them, which of course brought me, brought us to their goals. And strange enough the last thing started with me defining a segment IFS, just before the meeting. And it was strange as I felt kind of pressured as I did not really plan the meeting, didn’t think about it before, didn’t make an agenda or something. So it seems somehow Infinite Intelligence came of help to make me do the right thing, ask the right questions.

So I learned that the website Geschichte Lernen is more important to Robin than I thought, than I knew. That it is even his main goal next to his work at Metamove and that he is even really investing in it. It always appeared to me some kind of sideline, some kind of blog where he wrote every now and then. But no, apparently it is a lot more than that and comes close to some kind of life goal, sharing something history (have to check with him to know more about what his real purpose is).

And i know David is working on a new project, Maybe This Matters, but I didn’t know it is his full time job and how important it is to him. And that he needs some serious help with things like:

front end html;
graphic design;
server administration;
back-end programming in python;
writing explainer content;
designing a new landing page interaction.

And I didn’t know he is so focused on helping others by creating a website with the following features:

being a place for you to share the issues that you care most about
provide information to learn specific things you can do to make the world better
build communities around other people that care about fixing similar issues.

Who wouldn’t support something like that?

And I know John is working on a new business related to his website Philippinen Tours, being a tour guide for German tourists wanting to visit The Philippines on individual tours. But I didn’t know he wanted to be the number one travel operator for Germans visiting The Philippines. That is some awesome goal isn’t it?

And I know that Christian is very focused on his church activities. But I didn’t know he is even considering giving up his job for that. That is quite something and perfectly fits the idea of definite purpose.

So yes, quite some day today, with a lot of positive interaction.

Thank you Lord!

Persistence or being stubborn

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It is two o’clock in the morning and I was asking myself if I am just being stubborn or stupid doing my daily Inspiration for Success thing or if this could translate into persistence related to achieving success. And there are several related questions in my mind also, as I’m not sure if I would ask from anyone else to spend this one hour or so at the end of the day doing something that’s not that important. Or is it important. Or would I ask it from someone else or would I suggest it to someone else who wants to achieve success, who wants to be really successful, really rich like I want.

But somehow I have been doing this kind of thing all my life and it didn’t work out. Pushing through, keeping doing things. But somehow I also have the feeling that if I just keep going, just keep writing, just keep insisting I want Active Discovery this web development company in Cagayan de Oro City with its own building and with around two hundred people, qualified people, happy people and people making a decent living and enjoying their work and enjoying supporting their customers. And of course a company that serves its customers well and delivers quality services and products that make customers satisfied and happy.

And no, I have no plan for that, at least not anymore. And it seems that’s the main thing missing, but I’m too tired of it all, of trying to build this company, trying, yes, to help myself and trying to help The Philippines, help Filipino people to have decent local jobs so they don’t have to go abroad, away from their family. And I still believe my intention was good. But somehow it all fell apart and I have no clue how to get where I want to get with that.

And yes, that was one of the reasons I felt very down today. As it felt I was coming back to, came back to a place where there is nothing left and a place where I don’t see any future, not anymore. As I tried so hard and it didn’t work out (until now?). With Active Discovery and with The Malasag House. And yes, somewhere deep down I still want all of that, still want the things that I had in mind when we started Active Discovery and when we moved to The Malasag House. But I have no clue how as I can’t find any Master Mind or something and I have no clue about any plan.

And yes, now there is also Inspiration for Success and even Philippine Insurances and an idea for a Philippine Real Estate website.

And yes, somehow I lost the focus, or don’t have focus or should have more focus. But if you try to find people to cooperate with and you can’t find them for one project then you might want to try something else, wouldn’t you? And yes, you might also want to try to do it alone, but that’s not easy as sometimes it’s just too much work and sometimes it’s just too lonely. And today I wrote in my Dutch post that I have the feeling I do so much, often more than the average person. Like I try to fulfill my promises to other people and even though I sometimes fail, I often feel so much left alone by other people who made promises to me and didn’t fulfill their promise, people who gave me hope and then just didn’t perform, didn’t do what they promised.

So I often wonder if I am that bad, if I also leave other people alone with the things I promised. But somewhere deep inside I feel like I’m doing more, trying more than the people that made promises to me.But it makes me insecure, because of course you never know those things.

So yes, I still want everything, still want success, still want to build this company and still want to rebuild The Malasag House and let it come alive again, but this time for the good, this time better, this time for real. But I have no clue how and I somehow also can hardly find that feeling place as so many things went wrong, so many things didn’t work out and so many things take so much effort to make them work or turn them around.

So yes, maybe this whole blog, this whole site is just me crying for help, crying for people to help me make all these things come true, crying for people who can see that leadership of ideas and hard work in me and are willing to go with me, for me.

You wanna help, wanna be part of those dreams? So much good can come out of all that, out of my dreams. So please let me know if you want to help, so I can also help you and help The Philippines and the Filipino people.