Tag Archives: Inspiration

The impossible becoming possible

Am becoming more and more amazed that some of the things I thought about and wrote about one or two years ago, which seemed to be completely crazy and impossible at the time I thought about it and did some initial action on, right now somehow are coming to life, somehow seem to at least become possible, a possibility.

And still, behind this are somehow the ideas of Napoleon Hill, the idea of having a definite purpose in life and writing it down, the idea of never giving up, the idea of just starting again if the whole thing falls apart or if you miss a date. The idea of Infinite Intelligence helping when you believe and persist in what you want. And yes, also one of his quote that is almost always on my mind: “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed on an equal or greater benefit.”Napoleon Hill.

And it’s a whole site of ideas coming together that helps me now. As e.g. this quote of Napoleon Hill, together with the idea of Abraham Hicks that everything is energy and that there is a continuous flow of energy coming to all of us, makes me kind of see inside that I can convert any energy flowing to me in a positive way. As I since a few weeks, months, just imagine any negative energy coming to me being being converted by me into something positive by me. So if someone is angry with me e.g., is sending negative energy, I just ‘take’ this energy and flow it out in a way that I consider positive.

And yes, what keeps it all together is the desire document I wrote, now almost two years ago. As slowly virtually everything that happens to me is fitted in this desire document. And as the document is stated in a positive way, everything that happens becomes some kind of opportunity towards the goals I stated in my desire document. So in the end it’s also ‘just’ some kind of psychological effect, writing and reading (aloud) something like a desire document.

And no, I can’t fully explain how it works, or at least how it worked and works for me. And yes, while writing this I realize my desire document even has kindled my desire, the thing I thought I didn’t have or didn’t have anymore. And yes, there is something like autosuggestion going on here.

So as of now, even though I still don’t feel happy and certainly not successful, I can certainly recommend you start with making your own desire document. You can even use the back-end of the site now to make a start with that, as the basic steps for making a desire document are available now in the tools section of this site. And even though that part of the site is still very limited, you may just want to put your data, your definite purpose and what you are willing to give and a date there. Just to start on the road to your success.

Setback

Well, this afternoon I felt an enormous setback. And what’s in my e-mail: coming back from a setback. So well, I still don’t feel great and inspiring, so for that just indeed go to the article I just mentioned.

But something good also here, as I just uploaded a slightly update version of the IFS Inspirational Tools.

Memories

I found some photo’s yesterday or so, photo’s of The Kranz, a Bed & Breakfast I visited long time ago. And I think I wrote about it earlier, but I’m not sure if it was in this site or in my Dutch blog. And the main photo is this one:

The Kranz terrace view..

As somehow that is the view that lead me to The Malasag House. But while thinking, I have always liked ‘ends of the world’ and ‘highest points’, and while writing I guess many people do, although I think I have it a bit more than average.

And I still want The Malasag House to be a bit the same, full of guests, full of people, enjoying the beautiful view, the beautiful venue, meeting people or us, or not. But until now I didn’t really succeed and I still don’t know why. Or yes, I do, but I don’t know how to fix it, as it has to do with my relationship. And the weird thing is my partner is the one who is sociable, apparently caring for people. And he loves gardening and keeping the house in order, making the house nice, for guests. But somehow he doesn’t want paying guests, want people to pay, meaning we don’t have enough money, not even to maintain the place. And yes, of course I would also like, love to invite people for free, give them everything they want, everything they need, as we did before, when we still had money. But as of the moment we can’t, so why not find another way, why not just ask for some contribution? I’m quite sure people would be willing to help, willing to help to let The Malasag House shine. But somehow my partner doesn’t want to, is too embarrassed or something. And of course I need to honor that feeling, but in my feeling everybody loses, as now we can’t share the house, share a nice, beautifully maintained resort type house. A house worth sharing, a house worth keeping, a house worth maintaining. And I still didn’t find a way to deal with this except ‘work, work, work’, meaning everybody, including my partner, say and think, complain ‘he is always working’, which is true.

So this brought me back to my previous partner, the partner I was with when visiting The Kranz. And he always also experience me working. And complained about it. And yes, I also experience I’m kind of a workaholic. But I don’t know any other way to pay the bills. Except for something like indeed sharing the house in a paid Bed & Breakfast type of way. Or winning the lottery or something.

And I don’t know how other people do this, how they pay the bills. As until now I didn’t find another way.

And yes, I’m complaining again. But wouldn’t you if you couldn’t travel anymore, didn’t have a car anymore, couldn’t maintain the dogs, couldn’t have fun with your partner going out, especially if that were things that brought you together, kept you together in the beginning?

Well, wanted to share some other photo’s with a nicer story, like me with a Cheetah. And while starting this sentence I didn’t feel like it, but while writing I’ll just put that photo here, below.

Cheetah on lap..

And that photo was taken on the same holiday, at the Tshukudu Game Lodge, I think the best place I ever visited on a holiday, and yes, also one of the most expensive, but it was worth it, more than. And I still remember the morning walk with lions and an elephant. And the cheetah on my lap as you can see on the photo. Very impressive and kind of scary, because I remember touching the tail of one of the lions that was with us, and it was a lion’s tail, certainly not a cat’s tail, a pet’s tail. And the cheetah was a young cheetah, and it scratched me, no not bad, but again, a predator’s touch, not the scratch of a cat or a dog.

And yes, I miss that life, I miss the life where we could basically do what we wanted, having enough money to travel, maintain the house and garden, go out, visit friends, invite friends. And I don’t know where it went or why it didn’t come back yet. As I know much more now, have much more life experience, know more how to get things and stuff. But somehow it didn’t happen yet, somehow I can’t find the inspiration, can’t find the inner strength to get there, again, and this time better, this time for real.

But yes, the last was and is what this site is all about, finding success, finding inspiration to success, inspiration for success. And persistent I am, but something is missing. And I still don’t know what. But I’ll get there, I have to find out, I have to be who I really am, I have to be who I really can be.

What about you?

It’s not good enough

I still suffer from something like “it’s not good enough”. But it seems I’m working on overcoming that, as today I told myself that some of the things that felt like not being good enough indeed were good enough. Maybe even better than anybody could expect. So I guess it was good enough, as again I did everything I planned for today, even fully finished my to do list, which is basically my planning. But I don’t want to talk about that more today, although when I started this site, this blog, I did research and also ended up in a site that deals with “I’m not good enough”: the site of Morty Lefkoe. And I did the ‘free’ belief elimination a long time ago and I thought it was pretty amazing, so I can certainly recommend that. And no, I didn’t add an affiliate code in the link, even though I think I have one somewhere. As that’s not how I want to receive.

So yes, slowly I am beginning to believe that I am good enough, that I am doing enough every day. And with all the little things I started I somehow made a lot of progress in being more self confident. And that’s what I wanted to share today, some of the little things I did over the last one and a half years, learned from all kinds of sites and books:

  • I make the bed every day. Yes, literally every day. And yes, I think I skipped once or twice because I was not at home or something, but even if I’m somewhere else I’ll still do it. And sometimes I do it late at night, not long before going to bed. But I will still do it. And looking back this must have been the basis for increased discipline. And it has learned me more about how habits work.
  • A second thing I started some time ago was putting one peso (PHP) in a small container. And to not let me or someone else use it when not really necessary I put a small note in it, on top of the coins saying “Please do not touch until the right time”. And the strange thing is that I started this when I had virtually no money at all. And another strange thing is that I never used it, even though sometimes it’s tempting to just get some change or something. Even more strange is that this small container is overflowing right now, so I’ll have to look for a bigger container, and that where I somehow over time decided to put ten pesos every day instead of one peso. So maybe the right time will never come, although today I used my container with coins to explain something to someone who said he couldn’t do something because he had no money.
  • A third thing I did, also quite some time ago, was to stick to decisions. And I started with small ones, small ones like “Shall I get gasoline at the next gasoline station or do it tomorrow or do it before going home or doing it right now or…”, because I was always scared of not having enough gasoline. As those type of decisions took an awful lot of deliberation and energy which seemed kind of crazy to me as they were just something like ‘non decisions’, completely unimportant, but they took me a lot of energy and time. So I started just making decisions like “I’ll do it tomorrow”, or “I’ll do it at that and that gasoline station” or “I’ll do it at the very first opportunity. And I stuck to them. And you know what? Driving got much more relaxed and I never stood without gasoline, even though sometimes my home felt like very far away with the gasoline I decided not to get.
  • And another thing I started to do was making a daily planning, a to do list for one day, sometimes two. And sticking to it, finishing it, no matter what. And that was a big challenge for me, as I used to plan too many things on one day and also at the time I was emotionally very unstable, often leaving me paralyzed, not being able to do anything, literally anything. And the major thing starting it was to just put some very small things on it I was sure I could finish. Sometimes even something like ‘making the bed’ or ‘reading my e-mail’, nothing more. But that was exactly what I wanted to learn: finishing my planning, my to do list.

And of course there are many things on my mind right now, but two thing stand out. The first thing is that I learned to be much more careful with what I planned and how I phrased it. So with my to do list I often state something like ‘maybe do this’ or ‘maybe do that’, especially if it relates to things I need other people for. And the second thing is that I learned that I can really finish the things I planned, the things I decided to do. And it does not matter how small I started with like planning only one day and later a few days ahead. As today I started planning two weeks ahead, for the first time.

So if you have problems doing things, finishing things, my main suggestion is to

Start Small.

As starting with small things you will be able to really do it, really finish it, which in my experience increased my self confidence a lot. And I notice that over time I made things bigger, like going from one peso per day to ten pesos a day. And starting from only making the bed to add some other small things which I was sure I could finish. And from starting a planning in the form of a to do list for one day to extending it to two days and then four days and now two weeks.

So if you are stuck somewhere, being paralyzed or having no money anymore, make sure to start small. But yes, do start.

Inspiration, passion

So the question “what’s next” keeps popping up and is kind of getting stronger. As somehow I have lost all inspiration and passion towards the future. And today I realized that awful feeling, that tension in my upper legs has come back. And I thought I was beyond that now, but somehow it came back, today.

And yes, somehow deep down I know what’s going on. Somehow I lost the passion for life, for being me long time ago. Somehow it has been beaten out of me by ‘life’, by the dependence on other people for certain things like jobs (to get money, especially to do fun things) and love and sex. And that gives those people power.

And while writing this I realize that somehow I still feel like a victim, that I’m still in ‘victim mode’. But yesterday I read a sentence that hit me: “Abuse is NOT your fault” (How to Deal with Emotional Abuse). But on the other hand I read everywhere that my life and my happiness and such is my responsibility. And that’s where I get lost. As how can it not be my fault being abused when I’m responsible. So I’m responsible but it’s not my fault. How can that be? As to me responsibility for something implies that it’s your fault if something goes wrong. But I have the feeling most or many other people see this different.

And yes, now the famous “you have to change” comes to mind again. That’s what many people have told me most of my life so there must be some truth in it. And that’s also exactly what my partner uses to put me down, to put me in the defense. As I am unhappy and can’t get, don’t have what I want. And you can’t change the other person, so you have to change yourself. And again, if you’re unhappy it’s your own responsibility to ‘change’. Meaning it’s your fault.

At least that’s the type of reasoning I seem to get stuck in. As responsibility seems to be something different than ‘fault’ or ‘guilt‘. And I am stuck in some beliefs, beliefs that I prefer to keep as those beliefs are so deep rooted in me that I think I would become another person if I let them go. Or is it just fear?

And I was looking for ways to make Inspiration for Success more inspirational again. And maybe I found a way now to add pages on responsibility and fault. Let’s do that first.

So I guess a bit more of a useful post than the ones I’ve been recently writing. So I have some kind of start again. Thank you Lord!