I don’t believe so much in things like New Year anymore, like having New Years Resolutions, although Napoleon Hill recommends doing things like that. But the new year is around fifteen minutes old and with all the fireworks it is hard to ignore. So yeah, why am I writing right now? Shouldn’t I be with family or friends? Well, maybe I should, but with so little budget and hardly any friends and a relationship that could be a bit smoother and easier I didn’t really feel like celebrating New Year with friends or family or inviting friends or family here. And I don’t mind so much, although of course I would have liked to really celebrate this New Year and Christmas, yes, also with friends and/or family.

And I am thinking now how to continue. As part of this whole thing, probably even including this whole site, goes probably back to my codependency, to my codependent behavior. And what I hear now, especially in the weekly meeting of a Codependents Anonymous group, that type of behavior is pretty destructive. And I guess you can find much of that in this site, especially in my posts, hopefully more in my older posts and less in my newer posts. But that’s not the subject I wanted to talk about, although one of the things in my mind is that I guess there are many people who are or feel alone with these days, especially with these days, where most people seem to have a very happy time with friends and family.

So especially with these days around Christmas and New Year I guess there are pretty many people who are alone; or feel alone; or feel more alone. And I guess there are also quite some people who just don’t like these days, who just want to do something else. Or who don’t know how to deal with it as they don’t have the budget or the friends or the family to celebrate as they wanted to. And as I indicated I am one of them, as I don’t feel it is right to visit family right now because I am really tight on budget. And it has been for very long already, so I think most people don’t even believe me, but it is still true, at least for me. And I decided to change something there and I changed it a bit, which is one of the reasons I don’t want to go, but it is still hard to not just borrow again and go and have fun as my partner wants. And friends nearby, well I guess they don’t really know I would have liked to be invited. And I didn’t know how to invite them and involve them in my budget issue.

Anyhow, I am pretty much okay here kind of alone as my partner was supposed to be somewhere else but came back, which kind of confused me and also stopped me from making other plans.

So well, not sure what is inspirational in this post. Or what my real message is. Ah, yes, I wanted to say something like ‘please think of those people who are alone and such’, but that sounds so corny now. And I am not sure if it is even true.

And yes, it was kind of weird the last few days, as I was mainly just working, just doing my normal thing. But that was also what I wanted, as I am working on an exciting new project and also wanted to finish anther project that is starting to take too much time, especially too much lead time. And shouldn’t I just do what I want to do and not what others think that should be done, like celebrating holidays ‘because that is how it’s supposed to be’? And as indicated, I would love to celebrate, but it just doesn’t feel like celebrating, so why would I annoy myself and others with actually wanting to do something else…

And yes, I guess I will still kind of follow the suggestion of Napoleon Hill about my progress (in life?), even though I have other dates for that. But I realize I skipped most of those dates for thorough analysis, so maybe this is just the right time, like tomorrow or this weekend. And maybe also something to add to the Inspirational Tools, some kind of table where you can follow progress in your life, like analyzing things how Napoleon Hill suggests somewhere in Think and Grow Rich.

So am I doing okay, regardless the fact that I didn’t achieve the success I am looking for and have been working on seriously for about two years now? Yes, I think I am, as I learned a lot and somehow I have the feeling I made progress, quite a lot, somehow, even though I can’t exactly pinpoint how and what, as my situation didn’t really change. But I guess somehow my perception changed. And I hope also my attitude, as the last seems to be very important for achieving success.

Anyhow, I wish you all the best for 2015 and if this site, my writing and such, is contributing or has contributed to that, please let me know. That would really inspire me to do more.

• Tweet