Tag Archives: Tired

Powerless, or something

Mmm, I should keep it to myself, but I don’t feel like writing right now. So how do other bloggers deal with that? I mean, if you have committed yourself to write regularly, whether it is like every day like me or once a week doesn’t matter, but what do you do when you don’t feel like it?

But then again, maybe this is just the circle I am in. As I still see the traffic to this site go down, which it has been doing for the last month or so. And that doesn’t motivate to write or do anything, unless of course you just write because you like to write, which is what I understood another blogger does. Or maybe most bloggers.

So why am I writing anyhow is of course a good question. And I guess the first answer is still that it taught me discipline. As it has only a few times that I skipped writing, which in the end of course makes me feel good, makes me feel proud. But the second answer is still also kind of that I want(ed?) to share the ideas of Napoleon Hill with the world. And that I wanted to connect ‘inspirors’ with people needing or wanting inspiration. And the last I still want. And yes, of course I still also want recognition, recognition for my efforts, including the effort of writing every day. And the last is now kind of a hindrance, as traffic going down doesn’t really feel like being recognized, even though there could be various reasons for that. And yes, I know there are ways to boost my blog, a blog like this, but I am also still very hesitant about ‘marketing’ my site in certain ways, as somehow ‘sales’ still feels bad to me.

Anyhow, I started this blog with a title related to power. And I felt very powerless tonight in a phone call with my mam, as I felt blackmailed by her and I didn’t want to give in to the emotional blackmail she used as I thought that was not healthy. In the end I still kind of did, which indeed also makes me feel a bit bad. And that’s the hard part, as who would believe that a mother would blackmail her son. And if so, who would want a son to write about it, bring it in the open. And who would be interested in it anyhow. But I think it’s an important issue, as somehow ‘good behavior’ as I have learned is not ‘good’. Yes, honor thy parents, but should you still do that if e.g. your dad abuses you sexually? And in this case, if my mam uses emotional blackmail, should I still give in to her because she is my mam and ‘mam’s don’t do things like that’?

Ah, and yes, I am still tired. And I feel like I have a good subject here, but I also feel I need sleep.

So maybe you will forgive me for not writing further, not finishing this post. And of course I forgive my mam, even though I don’t even feel she did anything wrong to me. I think she merely did it to herself.

Tired and enough

It is pretty late again and my English post, so this one, is the only thing left to do, the only thing left on my to-do list for today, a list that basically was empty, although I think today was important. And I just realize it is not the last thing left to do, as I still didn’t have my daily meeting with my virtual private cabinet. And that meeting has become a problem lately, as often I was just too tired to make it into a useful meeting. And maybe that has to do with that my planning has kind of gone down the drain. And that has to do with the fact that I am starting to believe that I am not in control, that we are not in control of our lives, no matter what many successful people and self help books try to make us believe.

And this is kind of contrary with the ideas of Napoleon Hill, which I believe say something that if you keep trying you can achieve anything you want. And somehow that is true, but there is something more, something you can’t control.

So still struggling what is this secret that makes you happier, that makes life easier.

Tired, tired,tired

I am very tired, but contrary to my normal tiredness I feel really good as I was somehow pretty busy and achieved many things. And this was not because of persistence, but just because somehow God or Infinite Intelligence was in favor of me or anything that was happening.

So one drawback: I don’t feel like writing anymore. But I do feel good and am happy to share that!

How to write an inspiring post

Yes, it is still in my mind how to write an inspiring post. And I still don’t know how to do that, as it is quite late and I don’t feel like writing. But of course that is none of your business as an inspiring post should inspire you, and knowing about my current feeling or status is probably not that inspiring. Or is it?

As I just finished installing Caesar IV on the PC of a friend of mine. And over the day that started to worry me, as it was one of the few things on my planning list for today. And it was supposed to be a pretty straightforward thing as I had done it before on one of our own PC’s here. So I knew a bit what to expect, except the PC of my friend runs Windows 8 where our own PC I installed Caesar IV on runs Windows 7. But as the game, a pretty old game not made for newer versions of Windows, ran on Windows 7 without too many problems, I expected the installation a bit similar to the one before, not really straightforward, but doable within a few hours and without too much effort. How wrong I was, as the installation of .NET 3.X is quite different on Windows 8 compared to Windows 7. And it needed to download something, which didn’t work and that didn’t make much sense to me.

Anyhow, I did manage to install the game, and that is kind of the inspiring part of this post. As I used quite some of the Principles of Success to get this task done today. At first I used the principle of decision, as I decided quite a while ago that I will finish my daily to do list, no matter what. And I have become pretty good at that, as it is very rare that I fail to finish all the items on the list that I have marked as ‘definite’. So with this list I have developed the habit of planning things and finishing them at the time specified. And keep in mind that this is not particularly difficult, as when I started with this habit I started with just one little thing per day. So I was 99% sure I could finish that thing. And I did that for quite a while, weeks, if not months, to get started with this.

And still, recently I didn’t feel like doing a lot of things. And I have been on a short holiday. So for the last weeks, months, my daily planning has been pretty empty, like many days where I planned nothing. And over time I learned to specify things more specific, like adding the word ‘maybe’ or ‘probably’ or stating something like ‘if pushes through’. As I noticed that for some things you depend on other people and as I don’t think it is healthy to force other people to follow your planning I am very careful making statements about that (thanks Mike, for pointing out to me how this works).

So also today I thought I had a pretty simple list that could easily be finished. How wrong I was, as somewhere during the evening I really started to believe that this game installation might not work out today. However, for those things the principle of persistence comes in handy, together with the earlier mentioned decision. As those two things just made me push through where other people, or I myself before I learned all this, would stop, would declare defeat or failure. But I didn’t, as somehow I have developed to just go further, a lot further, than I used to before. And finally it did work out, although in this case it might not have worked out today. But it did.

And most important what I learned, what I can confirm also from what Napoleon Hill and many other famous ‘self help’ writers state, is that it doesn’t really take a lot of effort or energy. As it is just a habit I developed. It is just ‘something I do’.

So well, even though it is later than I wanted, expected, and even though I feel a bit tired and didn’t really feel to write a post, I think I managed to write something useful which even might be inspiring. So maybe I am also slowly developing the habit of writing, writing inspiring posts. How successful is that?

And what about you? Do you finish things? Have you developed habits that help you finish things? And yes, looking back it is all worth the effort. As with all these things I have changed, where the major change has been that I have an awful lot more self confidence, which I think is a big thing.

Strange day

It was a strange day today. This morning a good conversation with a visitor here in the house. I really enjoyed it and I hope she also enjoyed. But I was late already today, just while I was relatively early out of bed the last few days. So this made it even later for me today, so I couldn’t, or actually didn’t do a lot of work.

And right now I am very tired, and I don’t know why. As I wasn’t that late last night and I think I slept pretty well. Or maybe I do, as I still feel I don’t make much progress. Progress in relationship, work, my causes, this site. And that’s one of the things we talked about, like what is the difference between people who achieve real success and people who don’t. And I know two things, one is that you have to be really good, although that doesn’t always seem to be a prerequisite. And the other is that you somehow need to have some kind of ‘break’, someone recognizing you, yes, maybe inspiring you.

And that brought me again to the background of this site. That I never felt inspired or supported by anyone. And somehow that is still the case. Maybe something now to create in the tools section of the site.

And yes, to somehow continue with the pages, the posts and now the IFS tools. To inspire people, to inspire you!