Inspiration for Success
About inspiration, motivation and success
I was tired the last few days and somehow (or of course) ended up with the following quote that I sent as the daily quote today:
“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.” – William S. Burroughs
And yes, somehow I have the feeling I am forcing things (again). So maybe just time to relax and wait, as I have all the information I need and many things have been put into place for great things to happen.
So just wait.
It was a strange day today. This morning a good conversation with a visitor here in the house. I really enjoyed it and I hope she also enjoyed. But I was late already today, just while I was relatively early out of bed the last few days. So this made it even later for me today, so I couldn’t, or actually didn’t do a lot of work.
And right now I am very tired, and I don’t know why. As I wasn’t that late last night and I think I slept pretty well. Or maybe I do, as I still feel I don’t make much progress. Progress in relationship, work, my causes, this site. And that’s one of the things we talked about, like what is the difference between people who achieve real success and people who don’t. And I know two things, one is that you have to be really good, although that doesn’t always seem to be a prerequisite. And the other is that you somehow need to have some kind of ‘break’, someone recognizing you, yes, maybe inspiring you.
And that brought me again to the background of this site. That I never felt inspired or supported by anyone. And somehow that is still the case. Maybe something now to create in the tools section of the site.
And yes, to somehow continue with the pages, the posts and now the IFS tools. To inspire people, to inspire you!
Today was kind of a happy day as I first visited a customer and had an unexpected interested audience and even got a free lunch. And yes, the last means I’m still in The Philippines, where somehow food is something you always share with people.
And after I visited a friend of whom I don’t really know if he is really a friend, but we had a nice conversation and I hope we both enjoyed. And at least I did. And I hope I was able to lift him up a bit as he didn’t really appear happy to me.
And then after I was just tired and I am still just tired, but it was and is the right kind of tiredness. So for today I’ll just leave it to this, as I feel like I really deserve some rest, some time off.
It is strange to see how somehow my behavior changed with planning and discipline. As it is very late right now and I even forgot one of the items on my list today. Unfortunately it was not a big thing so I just finished it in a few minutes.
And the weirdest change is that I don’t question anymore whether I’m going to do things or not. If I planned it as a real to-do item without any maybe or something, I’ll just do it. And staying at a party tonight was in that way also a deliberate choice. I just balanced enjoying at the party against still writing this post tonight, sending my daily quote and updating my Dutch blog right now, after this.
And yes, sometimes I will just minimize things, like just writing a short post here. Or indeed if it is very late or if I get the feeling I planned too many days on a day I will also shorten the time I planned, or the effort. And sometimes, very sometimes even do things ‘in the spirit’ and not really as I think I ‘should’ do them. But the last is very rare.
So yes, something has changed, somehow. Somehow I have developed a habit of finishing things. And I’m still not sure if I’m really happy with it or if it really will bring me success, but something changed and somehow it feels good.
I still have the feeling I am forcing things. And not like Abraham Hicks suggests first wait for inspiration so I can take inspired action. Like the last few months every day I finish my daily planning, my daily to-do list. But not by heart. I just finish it because I somewhere somehow decided that that may be a way to success. But it doesn’t feel like it, it has no relation to any desire or something like that. And yes, somehow it related to my definite purpose. As somehow I believe that learning to plan and ‘work the plan’ will help me achieve success, will help me to get more money. And I believe I need the money to achieve the major goal or goals in my desire document. But no, I don’t feel happy, I don’t feel inspired, I don’t feel inspiration, I don’t feel desire.
So what’s going on here? It seems I still keep doing the same thing over and over again. It seems my life is repeating the same type of habits and unhappiness over and over again. And I am thinking now of the suggestions of Lynn Grabhorn, also based on the ideas of Abraham Hicks, based on the ideas of the Law of Attraction. As in one chapter she describes how people in general have given up on their dreams, on their desires. As they are just living life as how they are taught how life is supposed to be.
And yes, for the last few months I have been trying to go back to the dreams of my youth, of my childhood years,of my teenager years. And I kind of know what those dreams were. Like just having a stable job, a stable relationship. Something like ‘just fitting in’. But that didn’t happen. As I was gay, so finding a relationship was not easy, much more difficult than for heterosexual people. You just have less chance to find someone, you know? As if you like someone you don’t only need to figure out if that person likes you too, but you also have to figure out if he or she is gay.
And I was intelligent and technical. So of course I would be an engineer and have stable job and just have a decent, stable income. So yes, I went to university and got a masters degree in mechanical engineering. But over time I experienced that being intelligent and having a masters degree is not enough to survive in a job, in a business. No, you need to have social skills and stuff and somehow I don’t seem to have those, at least not enough.So I lost my job for whatever reason, no matter how I loved what I did and no matter how hard and honest I worked. And that was the start of a self fulfilling prophecy about losing jobs, as somehow I was scared of losing my job. And yes, as Napoleon Hill also states, fear is one of our biggest enemies, maybe even our biggest enemy.
And being very persistent, or maybe just stubborn, I kept going, with relationship and with work, with career. But somehow I was damaged too much, or didn’t fully understand what it’s all about. And as of the moment both career and relationship are in ruins. And related to those also finance, meaning I feel I can’t move anymore.
And yes, I was there, I let it all happen. And yes, I found Think and Grow Rich and am still working from it, still believing, or maybe struggling, to find success, financial as well as in relationship. Or maybe just finding, or better looking for, success in life. But time is running out and I’m still unhappy, very unhappy.
So what’s going on, as I know so much, how to do it all, how to achieve success and things. And yes, somehow deep down I still have those dreams of what I really want. But I just don’t feel it. And that’s where indeed it all seems to stop. If you don’t have the desire or just ‘don’t feel it’, you don’t go anywhere, you just don’t know get anything.
So maybe indeed first go back to my desire, go back to what I really wanted in life, what I still really want in life. And I know, as that’s so simple, or at least I thought it was: just have a life time romantic relationship with one person, yes, including developing my and my partner’s sex life, and just have a job you like and just have some spare time and money to enjoy holiday type things.
So simple it seems. But apparently it’s not.