Tag Archives: Success

Sand castle Boracay

NoTonight I was discovering Boracay by just walking up the beach north towards what I thought was the end of the island. Unfortunately I was not able to continue my tour around the island, as somewhere near the northern tip the beach stops, at least during high tide. And I guess I could have continued, but there is a restaurant or something at the end that blocks the way to some kind of path along the shore, but I decided not to pass through the terrace, mainly because it was dark and also pretty quiet where I wanted to go, even though there were people there as I saw some flash lights.

But I don’t want to write about my small expedition on the island, no, I wanted to talk about some amazing thing I encountered during my trip. And the thing I encountered was a sand castle type of Boracay logo that drew my attention. And at first I could not really make something of the thing that caught my eye, as normally only small children build sand castles, even though of course many grown up people also like things like building sand castles, including me.

To be continued…


So I got this life. And I don’t feel happy. And they say I can make a new start any day, any moment, and of course that is true.

However, I have a lot of things around me, have ‘history’, have things I feel responsible for, have things I want or maybe need to solve, so somehow it is true I can start anew, make a new start, but somehow also not.

And I am thinking a lot if I am codependent to my dogs, as often I ‘use’ the dogs to do things or not to do things. Somehow they prevent me from starting a new life elsewhere, as I feel responsible for them, feel connected to them, don’t want to leave them behind, as I think they would be less off without me than with me. And recently I just don’t know if that is really true, as they may just be happy with someone else or somewhere else. And I can’t even take care of them properly, as I don’t have the funds to buy proper medicines or even things like vitamins or proper vaccination. But yes, somehow they like me, somehow they are connected to me, somehow I am their (pack) leader. And for them that seems even better than having proper food or vitamins or medicines, the being with me.

Then I have this house, live in this house, that I love very much and that is also my home. But it is too expensive, I can’t properly maintain it, pay the mortgage, pay the property taxes and things like that. And of course it makes sense to sell it, just leave and find something else, find somewhere else to stay. But I don’t have any idea where to go or what would be a better place to stay than here in The Malasag House.

And somehow in the end it seems all to boil down to ‘money‘, and I have no clue why, or more like why I have not been able to find a way to receive enough money to do the things I want or need or think I need. And I use the word ‘receive’ intentionally, as I know now having money is not really about ‘earning’, something I always believed, something I grew up with, that money needs to be earned. And ‘earning’ means working hard, or maybe working long and hard. And yes, money can be earned by working long and hard, as I used to work long and hard, and indeed that ‘earned’ me quite some money. But somewhere on the way something changed, or something went wrong, as I kept working hard, but slowly I lost everything, even though part of that is due to simply overspending, simply spending more money than was available or came in.

And that brings me to another part of my ‘history’, as I am in debt, I have quite a big debt I have no clue how to pay back, as my income is not even enough to pay the interest on that debt, even though Is started reserving 10% of my earnings for debt payment, which I think was and is a good thing, a clever thing, as it gave me some of my self worth back, just working on paying that debt. But the last few months I hardly earned anything and used my emergency fund, a fund I started a few months ago by saving 10% of my earnings also there.

And of course I could just leave everything behind and just start somewhere new, but somehow that is theory and in practice I think very hard to achieve or do.

And yes, I know somehow my history, my past experiences block me from doing things, trying things, like I believe that I can never work again in a nine to five job, or basically I just don’t want to. But somehow that may be the beginning of something new and I might even like it, but my previous experiences make me believe now that I am not good in working nine to five jobs, working for a ‘boss’.

And yes, I know I am good at many things, have many talents and a lot of experience with many things, like web development, computer and network installation, even more advanced things and dog training.

But it is all pretty specialized knowledge and experience I have and it has proven not being easy to find people or companies needing that. And yes, I know about marketing, internet marketing, advertising, and have been even quite successful with some of it, but somehow I can’t seem to market myself, my service, my knowledge, my experience.

Like I have a lot of knowledge with setting up and maintaining a Microsoft Windows server network with replication, so I hardly ever lose any data as I have everything copied automatically to ‘the other’ location. Like last weekend one of my main servers had a big accident, and yes, it took and is taking me quite some effort to get everything back as I want to, but I did not really spend a lot of time and effort on it.

And I have been learning a lot about dogs and dog training the last half year since I started doing a similar thing as Cesar Millan does, so I would call myself an expert on some of that, even though I still have a lot to learn. But I am sure that I can help a lot of people dealing better with their dogs, and I did, but somehow the flow of clients dried up, even though I did some effort with advertising again recently.

Ah, so I am back to kind of diary type writing here. Not sure if that works, but then again, it is just me. And I would love to improve this article, this blog post, but maybe I won’t, maybe I will just keep on writing, making new blog posts.

Like in this article I want to add some photos and links, but I don’t feel like it right now and yes, I also tend to just post the article, even though it is not fully finished.

So I will do so now, and see what happens after.


So I am codependent, depressed, with less cash than ever, no work, no career, yes, many ideas still.

And I still want to write here, but mostly don’t really know what. But today someone sent me the link to something related to something related to Colonel Sanders. And that reminded me about something I heard about the founder of McDonalds. And while I was writing the last part of the first sentence, “many ideas still”, it reminded me of J.K. Rowling.

And I am not sure what to believe, like how my situation, my story, relates to Harland David SandersRaymond Albert Kroc or Joanne Rowling, as they all seem different, more, not sure how to say, determined or persistent than I am, but apparently they did go through many failures, defeats.

And recently the ideas of Napoleon Hill, the stuff from Think and Grow Rich came and come to my mind again. And I wanted to start reading in Think and Grow Rich again, but I realize I didn’t do that yet until right now. I did get my Desire Document back, read it, made it visible again though. And amazingly it is still unfolding, together with some stuff related to what I found on the site of Kim Cooper. And yes, many dates have passed and such, but somehow things are unfolding according to that document, so recently I started to wonder if my biggest dream will still come true, together with some other stuff I wanted, stated there.

And yes, somehow I am starting to think about planning again; and about setting goals. Those things have been very hard, pretty much impossible recently, probably due to my depression. And while working on my depression I am starting to realize what a terrible thing that is. It kind of blocks everything, all positive things, all goal setting, all desires, all pleasure, everything that makes life worthwhile. So I guess that is the first thing to work on. Maybe that could be a start of some planning again.

And about goals? I am not sure about my goals anymore, as they seemed so impossible for quite a while. But right now, the last few hours, days, somehow I am getting also back to my goals, basically since I started to admit, realize, that I really suffer from depression.

And I wanted to write a lot here actually today. But it seems I am more focused on links and such than actual writing. Somehow in my mind is still that I want to promote this site, make Inspiration for Success work, promote my other businesses and ideas.

And no, strangely enough I don’t feel desperate anymore, despite that was the name I gave this post when I started it. More hopeful I guess.

So the main thing that has blocked me for quite a while may just have been depression.

Tradition eleven

“Our public relation policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.”

Today I felt like writing again and what came into mind was writing about the Coda work I am doing. But writing about Coda or my Coda Step Work here kind of violates Tradition Eleven. Or isn’t it?

I just googled “tradition eleven”  and the first document showing up is a PDF about Tradition Eleven. Reading it quickly doesn’t give a good answer whether to write about Coda here or not. I guess the answer would still be ‘not’ as this is not an anonymous blog. Actually I am even somehow promoting myself here, at least that was the original intention, as I was looking for (financial) success and wanted to use this site, this blog for it. And I still kind of do, but indeed, I have become much more careful what this site, this blog is about. It certainly didn’t work as I intended it to, as neither did I achieve personal (financial) success and neither I consider the site, the blog, the project Inspiration for Success as a success, even though the site has some traffic; but not a lot and it is not really growing.

And yes, I am starting to see, to learn what Tradition Eleven and many or all of the other Traditions are all about. In the end it is about HOW and WHY I do things, not WHAT I exactly do. Mixing purposes seems to be a very tricky thing, like helping people towards success and at the same time looking for personal (financial) gain. And my ‘no advertisement’ policy has also been very tricky related to the ‘real world’ and the real thinking of people. It is kind of grounded in false pride, in not being honest about my purpose, and of course people feel, people know that in the end.

So then, what is this site, this blog, or even this post all about? Mmm, I am not fully sure right now. Maybe ponder about that a bit more here.

I guess my original purpose was just to create a blog to make money, to earn money like many or most other blogs on the internet do. And that meant to just create content and get traffic to the site, make you come to the site. A bit hard to admit that to myself, but I guess behind all my nice ideas about helping others (toward success) the only real purpose was just to get rich myself. And of course I want others also to be successful and of course I would want to help others to be successful, but yes, the original purpose was just SEO and make money from whatever way God would give me when the site would have traffic. Ah, yes, I wanted the site to be famous and be famous through it and earn by being famous. Or impose my ideas to the world by being famous. Nothing wrong with that in the end I guess, but then I guess it would be more honest to state it like that. And maybe I did, but looking back probably not in the right way, certainly not always in the right way.

So where to go from here? I actually have no clue, except that I feel tempted to mention all my business attempts that failed and maybe be honest that I just want them to move, earn from it. And I also need it, I need business, as right now I am kind of at the end of my cash (didn’t I write that more often here?), even though I still have quite some assets. But I can’t get any cash out of my assets, at least not on short term I believe in a reasonable way.

Well, so this page seems to become about promotion, about finding people to buy my services or people to help my (business) ideas come true, so let’s just start with a list of my (failed) ventures over time:

  • Active Discovery Designs was the business I started when moving to The Philippines. I started it together with my partner and it is still kind of operational, but I am not sure how to revive it. It’s biggest asset is the Active Discovery Application Framework, a web programming framework to develop advanced web applications in a very lean and effective way. Next to the technical stuff I ventured into internet marketing with the Monthly Internet Marketing Service.
  • The Malasag House is the house I moved to together with my partner. My dream was to make it into a (high end) Bed & Breakfast where people could enjoy the view and the place like I once enjoyed a similar venue in South Africa on a holiday. That is still one of my dreams, to make the house come alive in a way I remember or intended related to my South Africa trip, or just my stay here with friends and other people visiting. Somehow it never happened and I am not fully sure why as it is a beautiful place and I think the idea is somehow valid. Maybe this post will help, although the place is pretty much deteriorated, so I feel a little embarrassed inviting (paying) guests here, even though the view is impressive and beautiful as ever.
  • As Active Discovery Designs was not doing that well I ventured in several projects which, again, all failed and cost me a lot of money. One of them was WinkedAt, a kind of anonymous social networking site, where people could connect in a private way. To me a very good idea, but somehow the initiator backed out, leaving me with a big financial loss. Not sure if that could be revived, but the idea might still work, even next to Facebook.
  • Before WinkedAt I ventured in a project consisting of a special way of looking at the sales funnel. Remainder of the project is still available as MIS Improved. Could still work and be made into a business I think, but I don’t have the means and I am not as much of a business man as I thought I was.
  • Then in 2012 I had several ideas, one of them providing The Philippines with good repair services like carpentering or plumbing services, as it is very hard to get a good carpenter or plumber here in The Philippines, no matter how many people claim to be a plumber or a carpenter. Of course that project went nowhere, as I didn’t have the right connections or the power to invest or anything.
  • My biggest project/idea I think is still DoctorsConnect. I still hope I can somehow get people interested in making this dream reality, and yes, also earn a lot of money from it. I think the market is about ready for something like that, no matter the many issues that need to be dealt with related to privacy and such. But yes, it would help the world, help everybody in the world with medical issues, and who doesn’t have medical issues at least once in their life.
  • Finally end of last year I ventured into Multi Level Marketing with SFI. At least this was something I could do alone, and use my major talent of being persistent. No real earnings yet and I prefer selling to TripleClicks clients above earning from my down line buying stuff. But yes, I believe continuing working the system will give me some, or even a substantial income, whether from ‘TripleClicks clients only’ or just from my down line.

So back to Tradition Eleven, ‘attraction rather than promotion’. Or back to honesty?

And right now I am not fully sure why I wrote this page. And if the page is about ‘promoting’ my projects or ventures, or attracting the right people to help me make them become reality. Or just finding clients or finding down line affiliates for SFI.

I guess it is up to you, reading the information on this page, if I have anything to offer that would benefit you. As I have learned I am powerless over others. I can only tell my own truth, and I guess right now that is that i am kind of desperate getting some business going and that on the other hand I think most or all of my (business) ventures and/or ideas are valid and honest ideas.

I just can’t do most things alone, except the web development and internet marketing and of course the SFI stuff. But even for the web development and internet marketing in the end I need people to make Active Discovery Designs into a real working business again.

Thanks for letting me share and reading this article.

P.S. Strange, the enormous amount of tags applying to this article. It feels I just wrote my whole life, all my desires and dreams here.

P.P.S. And progress, not perfection, even though I feel tempted to make it better, make it complete, make it perfect. But I guess this is it for now, for today.

Higher Power

There are two things in my mind to write about right now and the first is about Higher Power related to Think and Grow Rich. And the second is how would I remember to share my stuff when I am successful. Would I forget all the misery I went through and not give you the information you may need if you are still in the position where I am still now and was when I started Inspiration for Success?

Well, let’s just start with the concept of Higher Power, a concept derived from Twelve Steps programs, where part of the program is developing a connection with a self defined Higher Power, so not a God as defined in most religions.

And one of the things that is beginning to strike me, and actually has for quite a while already, that (virtually?) any religion or spiritual program is based on something like God, or Higher Power, or as Napoleon Hill calls it, Infinite Intelligence. And looking at the Twelve Step program I am working on, the concept of Higher Power is something to be developed. It is not something that just is, contrary to the Gods of the religions that I know. And I am actually a bit amazed, as for quite I while I felt stuck in Step 1, the powerlessness, and I was very anxious to move forward to Step 2, as that is about Higher Power, the thing I read and heard about in many places and it seemed to be the wonder thing that would solve my problems, so I really wanted that also. But it didn’t show up and I kept stuck in Step 1 for quite a while.

And then somehow, while still working on Step 1, something like Higher Power started to show up, just out of nothing. And it was not the wonder thing I was hoping it would be, but where I was so anxiously searching for it it somehow showed up, and as said, not as the thing I wanted it to be, but it was just there, presenting itself to me in the form I was ready for, the form I could handle.

The amazing thing I encountered recently though was that I started reading Think and Grow Rich again, after I had given it, to, yes, something like my Higher Power for a while, as I couldn’t deal with it anymore and gave it to my Higher Power to deal with, maybe even already somehow available for me anyhow, and while writing this it could be that my Higher Power has been with me and helping me for much longer than I realize.

So while re-reading some chapters in Think and Grow Rich it appeared that a whole new world opened for me, as there it was, the concept of Higher Power also standing in front of me all over this book I thought I know so well. And the idea of repetition and continuing going and doing the work as mentioned in the book started to make much more sense to me then ever before. And similarities with the Higher Power of the Twelve Steps programs and even some texts from e.g. the bible seem to say the same thing. And of course concepts like The Secret and the ideas of Abraham Hicks point in the same direction.

And I am not there yet, having the success what I am looking for. But I think I am starting to see what it is all about, no matter how depressed I am right now or where I stand. And it seems to be about doing the work, going through a process, and indeed not about just working hard. So just start anywhere, start from where you are right now. Start with any spiritual or self-help program or religious concept and go from there, work it.