Author Archives: Guus

Forgiveness

Forgiveness or forgiving is something I still don’t understand and it seems to be a major skill if you want to live a happy life. Ah, Wikipedia starts with something like ‘victim’, so there must be a victim if forgiveness is applicable? Ah, and it seems for forgiveness you must acknowledge wrongdoing. And mostly I don’t acknowledge wrongdoing, so maybe that’s where my problem with forgiveness. As somehow I believe everybody in the end is just good, tries to do the best thing. So if that is true, how can something be wrong?

And yes, a while ago I understood more about what is in the Our Father. As I read the version of the part “And forgive us our trespasses,as we forgive them that trespass against us”. And I realize you can’t avoid doing wrong to other beings or things. As when you just walk, you step on I guess millions of living things like bacteria and you may just kill a lot of them. And you can’t do anything else, as even when you sit or sleep you still do the same. And when you eat you virtually always eat living things, so something has to die for you to survive. So these things are not wrong in an absolute sense or for you and me, but they are certainly wrong for the being or thing you are ‘acting upon’.

So I read somewhere it is a good habit to apologize, ask for forgiveness for those type of things, even if they’re just part of life and you can’t avoid them. As you are doing ‘wrong’ to something else.

So well, even if I think nothing is ‘wrong’, I can still ask for forgiveness and yes, of course I hope I will be forgiven for those things.

Maybe that thinking is a good start for thinking about the things I am doing wrong, and realizing better how forgiveness works and why it is needed or good.

Fear

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Well, it seems the subject of today is fear, as I heard someone telling she was very scared, which made me decide to send a quote about fear today. Then I realized I was scared to start this post, as I didn’t know what to write. So of course that lead me to write something about fear.

So what is this fear about writing a post? Well, I guess about finding something inspiring to write, something that is useful to others. As in the end somehow that is what my writing, and I guess the writing of anybody else, is about. And behind that is the fear that I am not good enough, as my posts are often me complaining about something or just diary type quotes, which, according to ‘professional’ bloggers or other people are ‘not good enough’ as blog posts.

And blog posts need to have at least 2,000 words and be mixed with pictures and such and have good structure so they are ‘good’ reading material for readers. And of course they need to have some ‘message’ to the reader, some advice or something. And I often try to put something like that at the end of the post, but it is not the main thing in my mind writing. As I just write whatever comes into my mind. And my posts I think in general are something like 500 words or something. And often I start with some kind of subject and end up writing about something completely different, which I then ‘correct’ by putting a different ‘title tag’ as addition to WordPress title of the blog item.

So this is all ‘wrong’ and it reflect in the traffic to this website, also my blog. Ah, and I don’t follow the rules of building a community, so that is also ‘wrong’. As I think I don’t have a community, although I know some people who know me read my Dutch blog whom I could consider my ‘community’.

So all of this makes me think, as I know most bloggers started like me, just started something, just started writing. And also didn’t have any audience except maybe their mother or some other family member or family members or some friend or friends. So I guess I’m not doing that bad. I’m not that far off from what other bloggers do or how most or all successful bloggers started.

And no, I also think I wrote about that yesterday or the day before, my main goal with this blog is not to live from it, although it would be nice to also have some financial return from it. But the main reason for the financial return is even that it would make it more easy to do more for this blog as I wouldn’t worry so much about what to live from or what to spend my time on, as if I had more money coming in I could spend, or actually would spend more time on this site, this blog. I would even hire people to write for it, as much of the content about the Principles of Success and related pages are about subjects that other people could easily write, probably, or even surely better than I.

So while evaluating all this maybe I should, or better could, think a bit more how to make this work, how to make Inspiration for Success as I have it in mind. And one of the first ideas was to connect people who want to inspire other people connect to people who need (more) inspiration. And for that I need to build some more functionality in the site and the site would need to be more known, otherwise people wouldn’t know about it and wouldn’t be able to find each other.

So well, let’s plan a bit better, as that is a subject that is high on my priority list, as my daily planning recently ended up in blank pages, which doesn’t mean I’m not doing anything, on the contrary, but it means I kind of lost a rudder, I kind of lost direction.

Well, not a bad post after all I guess, as I started with the negative emotion of fear and I end being inspired a little more to get my planning a bit more in order.

Success by repeating

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I encountered several things lately how to achieve success, how to become good at something. And that is something like starting small, starting simple and then slowly increasing your skills until you’re good at it.

So yesterday I encountered a blog with, of course, some kind of book where you can learn how to make your blog successful. And I guess there is something in it and I was a bit jealous yesterday when I found that the site of James Altucher is not that old and much better and is doing much better than mine, than this site, than Inspiration for Success.

And now I am annoyed, as I was just reading something again like ‘if you give to the world you’ll get things back’. And I hear that everywhere and if it is true I don’t give much to the world as I don’t get much back. Or more on the contrary, next to getting nothing in people helping me with e.g. this site I just have a lot of bad feelings, I just feel shit.

And yes, I still have that idea of that it’s never enough. And of course e.g. the page Top Inspirational Sites is not yet finished, far from it. But I did quite some work on it and it’s going to take an awful lot more work to make that part of the site, of evaluation inspirational and motivational sites, a useful part.

And I know I can write shit, but right now I am still writing, even though it is 3 am right now. And I not fully sure if I am not mainly writing it for myself or for SEO reasons or something, but there is certainly a part of ‘giving’ in it. And yes, the Inspirational Tools part of the site is also not yet fully finished as I have it in mind, but it is certainly working and the idea of focusing on desire document and Principles of Success has certainly a reason as those things brought me further in life than anything ever before.

Ah, yes, the thing in my mind was about following the advice of all those successful bloggers to do things like writing comments and writing guest posts. So it’s all about marketing and sales again in a way that I don’t like. But I guess it works. So what would I do, follow my feeling or do something ‘that works’.

And yes, I think I have been quite generous with links from this site, but until now I don’t think I didn’t get many links back. And I am pretty sure people know I am linking to their site as WordPress has this nice ‘ping back’ feature that reports when someone links to your site. At least as both sites have that feature of course. But most sites are WordPress sites, so I guess they have that feature.

Anyhow, still hard for me to decide to do more of the ‘things that work’, the things I don’t like or the things I think I don’t like, or to just continue writing and working as I have been doing until now. Ah, yes, that was also in my mind, that this site, this blog was never intended to be my main source of income or something and that it is also certainly not my main priority in time, which is also why it is not my priority to do all those things ‘that work’ as I don’t want to spend the time for it.

Anyhow, I would still love to get some feedback or something, whether positive or negative, so at least I would know people read my stuff, next to seeing statistics in Google Analytics of course.

So if you read this, please post some comment or send me an e-mail? Please.

What’s the point

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I am kind of at the end of the road as tonight I let myself talk into borrowing another significant amount which I doubt would come back in time. So I just cried up to God what is the point in letting me suffer so much financially and also with other things, like my love life and the connections with my family. I started a new life around twelve years ago or something and it started very well, with lots of promises and good things and starting a business or something. But slowly it has all fallen apart and I have no clue why, even though I guess I have my flaws. And yes, I know they say life is a learning process or learning experience or something, but I also believe life should be enjoyed. And I didn’t have any real joy for the last ten years or so, except a few short moments, short occasions like a party where I felt very happy someone celebrating it here, in The Malasag House.

And no matter what I did, no matter what I do, things still seem to fall apart, including me caving in again to a request from my partner just tonight. And the reason I did is that I just don’t know anymore, as whatever effort I do it seems to end nowhere, it seems to be futile. And it may be right as my partner is closer to me than anyone else, but it may also be wrong as maybe I ‘should’ be stronger and go my own way or something.

Or is this about going beyond failure, beyond anything you can imagine before achieving success, the thing Napoleon Hill talks about. But I started reading Think and Grow Rich from the start again and the sentence is ‘before achieving their major success’ or something and not ‘before achieving success’.

So yes, I just cried up to Heaven that I don’t get the point in more ‘learning experience’, for me meaning right now ‘more suffering’. And of course I know my situation is much, unimaginable much more better than so many people in the world, people without food and shelter, where I still own part of a very large house, so I am still ‘rich’. But that’s the worst part, as I know how good, how fun life can be, even though there are still some things I still didn’t enjoy to the fullest. But I know what it is to travel the world and have a car and just be able to move around and see the worlds and just visit friends and family when you like. And right now, and for a very long time already, I have the feeling I can’t, even though if I would just cash out some things I still could do those things, even though only for a short while.

So yes, I am tired of the suffering and I am starting to refuse to believe that it’s all ‘me’ who is the cause of it, like many of those self help sites and successful people make me, and probably also you, believe. As no matter how you follow the Principles of Success or whatever program or things ‘successful people’ have invented, if God or Infinite Intelligence or whatever you may call the Higher Being or Higher Spirit, doesn’t want it, apparently it doesn’t happen.

And no, I won’t give up. I will follow things like the Principles of Success and persist in my current quest and my current decisions. So I will ‘outwit the Devil’, but I am starting to get annoyed by the way one apparently has to do that, as I’d rather stay nice and polite and things like that than just being annoyed and angry and all those things I consider negative.

And strange, especially writing this last paragraph makes me realize how far I have gotten, how much more determined I am to achieve success than ever before and how much more self confidence I have now than I had ever in my life before.

So yes, something changed, changed since I started to read and work from Think and Grow Rich.

Last thing of the day

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Well, I guess this will be the last thing of my day. Or at least one of the last things. And as yesterday, I don’t really know what to write right now. Still in the middle of some relationship hick-ups, but that didn’t stop me from working on DoctorsConnect (as it might have before). So something has changed, even though I felt very bad today when I woke up (not so late) until I got up (quite a bit later). And I am still working on this site and write in my personal blog virtually every day, even though I was not able to keep my team motivated (inspired?) to really work on the site and the related project I have in mind.

And I still have no clue where this is all going, as (again) I don’t have any paying projects now, which is kind of awkward, but somehow Napoleon Hill‘s Think and Grow Rich has made given me more belief that some day my effort, my persistence, will pay off and that one day I will receive some benefit from everything that I have done. Still struggling with things like God or Infinite Intelligence as I still somehow consider it very unfair how unhappy I am related to the amount of effort I did and do.

But today I heard somewhere that there are still more than a billion people without clean (drinking) water and I know there are also many, many people without enough food. So in the end I guess it is all relative as I also understood that our helper and her husband may be happier in their relationship and life than I am, despite the fact that they earn less than USD 10.00 per day. So it’s certainly not all about money (but money helps).

So well, let’s see what 2015 has in mind for me. The start was not that bad, at least not in my feeling, as somehow my attitude, my outlook changed for the good over the last few years. And I think that’s a big gain.