Tag Archives: Self analysis

Self analysis, question 34

Today’s question is “Can you mention three of your most damaging weaknesses? What are you doing to correct them?”. And the first thing that comes in my mind is that I can’t say no to my partner in most cases if he wants something. And then it stops. Or maybe my second weakness is eating chips, which I just did (and which makes me fat). But maybe more important is that somehow I mostly lose people, especially in business.

And all of this is very good I think, working through these questions in different ways, this time just answering them in public, writing  them down.

So let’s start with the first one, not being able to say no to my partner. Somehow that is a very hard and strange one, as I often compromise my own values just because I can’t say no. And yes, part of that is his anger, that can be very bad and that anyone would try to avoid. But that is a very bad excuse as often there is a lot more damage with my ‘not being able to say no’ than anything his anger could do. And by not saying no I am also teaching him that he can get anything he wants, which is certainly not healthy, not for me, but certainly also not for him. And also not for other people involved, as slowly more and more people are experiencing damage of my weakness of not being able to say no to my partner.

And recently I have been thinking that there may be many more people and situations I may act the same way, also causing a lot of damage.

So what am I doing to correct this first weakness? Well, at first sight nothing really, as even tonight I kind of gave in to something I don’t really want, something I might have wanted to say no to. On the other hand I am at least starting to realize that this is a very damaging weakness, so at least I am aware and kind of out of the denial phase. And that may be an important step to solve this issue, this weakness. So let’s stick with this for now, as it is still a very difficult issue for me, even though I guess most people wouldn’t understand what is going on and why I am doing what I do. And while writing I don’t even know myself why I do it, as often I just feel stupid and ‘wrong’.

But let’s at least acknowledge I am acknowledging this weakness and that that is a very important step.

My second weakness, eating, makes me very fat and somehow I hate myself for that. And still, I never really made any progress with this. Yes, for a short time, sometimes. But I never pushed through and even tonight I just bought a lot of snacks and started eating them, until right now.

So what am I doing to correct this? Well, actually nothing. I even kind of accepted my eating as something belonging to me, something to compensate for unhappiness and dissatisfaction in other areas of my life. So yes, I know where this eating habit comes from and what causes it. And while writing this I realize it has to do with my first weakness, at least the cause of that. And I don’t feel like writing about that in detail here, but let’s say it’s about the fear of loss of love of someone.

So what am I doing about it? Well, nothing really. So maybe time to at least acknowledge that it is a problem and that it causes unhappiness because I feel so fat. Would that be a step one to a solution?

So my third weakness is losing people. And that is a hard one and I have been trying(?!) to do something about that for a long time. And somehow it seems to pay off, but somehow I often still feel trapped with this, as I still often feel left alone by people, abandoned by them, them not replying to me, them not wanting to meet me.

So what am I doing about it? Well, again, at least I somehow acknowledge that I want to do something about it. And that somehow it is a weakness of me. And that it probably has to do with me not being really interested in people. And that goes back to me not being really interested in myself, me not really accepting myself.

So I am working on self-acceptance.

Self analysis, question 33

Ah, another question I don’t like: “Do you analyze all mistakes and failures and try to profit by them or, do you take the attitude that this is not your duty”? So it seems we are getting somewhere as I think I am facing some more things now than I did in the past, much more things.

The most important issue here I think is that I don’t admit mistakes really. Mostly I reason that in the given circumstances I did not have any other chance than deciding what I decided, which of course in a way is true. But it implies that I never make mistakes, or at least not admit I made mistakes. And the last is probably not really helpful for my progress.

So what’s a mistake? Something like ‘something wrong’.

And right now I am very, very tired, so it may not be wise to continue here now.

But no, I don’t analyze all mistakes and failures and I am certainly not trying to profit from them as I don’t admit making them…

Self analysis, question 32

Today feels like the right day to continue with the self analysis questions and today’s question is “Do you face squarely the circumstances which make you unhappy, or sidestep the responsibility?”. And I don’t like this question as I have the feeling that I am indeed sidestepping the responsibility for the circumstances that make me unhappy. As yes, I am mostly still very unhappy, even though tonight I felt okay, probably because I made some decision I did not like to make related to my DoctorsConnect project. And the strange thing is the decision makes me kind of feel relieved, even though I don’t really like all of the consequences that come with it, but at least I have the feeling now that I can move on where until today I felt stuck with one of the team members not performing.

So yes, it seems that facing the circumstances that make you unhappy (and dealing with them) helps make one feel better, as I am feeling a lot better. Still, there are quite some circumstances I don’t want to face, kind of avoid. And I am avoiding them because I don’t see any solution, at least not a solution that fits my goals and dreams. Still, the situation doesn’t get any better, so somehow I have the feeling I am doing something wrong.

And yes, again the word responsibility, a word that I don’t fully understand as often I keep hanging in blame, blaming the Universe or God for the bad circumstances I feel I am in.

So no, I don’t face the circumstances that make me unhappy squarely and yes, i guess I am sidestepping the responsibility (for the circumstances). And I always want solutions, but maybe I should just stick with the analysis for now, the admission that I don’t feel responsible for my circumstances or have all kinds of excuses to avoid responsibility for them.

Back home

Paradise locationI just arrived home, or actually a few hours ago, so it is much easier now to write my daily posts and send my daily inspirational quote email. And the last few days, last week I have thought a lot about posting daily here or not. And more often than not I didn’t post, as it was quite a lot of hassle with very bad internet on my smart phone and an internet cafe that was just a little too far away, or just not there as yesterday and the day before yesterday most of the day.

And it made me think a lot about doing things ‘whatever it takes’, as I could have done a lot more effort to indeed do my daily posts and send the daily inspirational quote. I could have put more load in my smart phone and take some more time to find better spots for internet connection or more time to really write a post. Or I could have asked friends with different cellphones, smart phones and tablets to let me use their devices. Or indeed walk or drive to an internet cafe or a location with a lot better internet.

But I didn’t, at least most of the time for writing my posts. And the main reason is that after more than two years of hard work,of discipline, of writing here virtually every day and sending an inspirational quote by e-mail virtually every day the number of readers and users has hardly increased after my first efforts to build some e-mail list from my own contacts, even though it has grown on its own for most of the time now. But very slowly, with maybe one person per month or so for the last few months.

And I know there are more ways, better ways to build audience. But until now I have hardly used that, as I believed (wanted?) the site to grow on its own through its content, through the things I write only, or at least mainly. And it didn’t.

And of course here come the Principles of Success in sight, as they may give the direction. But I have been persistent and stuck to my decision to write every day (and to let the audience grow through the content). And I desire more users, more readers, more listeners, more people to help, more people to inspire. And I took action, as I did quite a lot of things, like writing every day, but also building some awesome WordPress plugins.

But no, I have no Master Mind. And I don’t really have a plan (I think). And I did not really do anything autosuggestion.

And I realize I don’t really remember all Principles of Success right now, so it may be a good exercise to check this site against all Principles of Success and not only the ones that are relatively easy for me. As that is e.g. true for persistence.

But not today, as I think I have done enough for today. And I am not sure if Napoleon Hill puts enough emphasis on relaxation and rest and maybe flexibility. As those are also very important I believe.

Self analysis, question 31

I just read an early version of my desire document and I realized it is all about hope, at least right now for me. As I passed most of the initial deadlines and my biggest desire is kind of in ruins as of the moment, even though I decided not to give up yet to really achieve it.

And right now I am thinking how important it is to really read my (or your) desire document aloud twice a day or at least regularly, as it keeps your mind focused on what you want and how to achieve it and what you are willing to give. And I didn’t do that for a while as I was scared as some things start to take long, too long for me feeling comfortable.

But somehow just reading it right now again the whole thing just comes back, the thing or things I really want in life, the things I decided to do some two and a half years ago, starting from the ideas of Napoleon Hill. And somehow there may be a reason for reading it now, realizing what is going on now, as lately, especially the last few days, maybe weeks, I was very down and a bit confused, which seems to go back all to fear. And fear is what the end of Think and Grow Rich is all about, as fear seems indeed to be the biggest enemy of all as I see and feel now, especially the last few days, weeks, how destructive fear is or can be, as it seems most of my misery goes back to fear.

And also maybe there is a reason I am going through this right now, as Napoleon Hill writes that in order to conquer something we need to know all about it. And I am starting to know more and more about fear and I see more an more how destructive it is. So maybe I am given this period to write about it or maybe just experience it so I can work on overcoming it, dealing with it.

So let’s continue with the next self analysis question:“Has today added anything of value to your stock of knowledge or state of mind?”. And I think I just confirmed with the above that I did, as I know a little more about fear again and also what effect it has on my state of mind.

So that’s a nice end to this post where I though I was writing about something else than the subject I was planning to write about, but I was wrong.

And yes, maybe worthwhile to ask yourself this question every day, every end of the day. Which may even lead to a good start for the next day, to be aware if the day, the things you are planning to do or are doing, are adding something to your stock of knowledge or have influence on your state of mind. And if it is improving your state of mind or not.

So maybe something to print and put on your desk or your mirror so you can see it in the morning or if you are at work.