Tag Archives: Doubt

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It seems I still miss the passion or determination part of things as right now I just feel tired and want to stop, enjoy, go to bed and not write here, especially as Id don’t have or feel any inspiration about writing an inspiring post here.

And still, while thinking about the above, re-reading the above paragraph, this is not fully true. As somehow I still want to write inspiring stuff, still want Inspiration for Success the thing I had in mind when I started it. But somehow I don’t know how, somehow I don’t know how to get through this dip.

So what is the main issue here and, maybe more important, how to deal with it. I think the main issue here is something like running a marathon, at least that is the sample that comes in my mind. And I am in the middle and have long forgotten how it all started and why I wanted to run it and a finish line is nowhere in sight. And maybe more important, I seem to have lost the idea of where the finish line even is. And on the way I lost my team and also my supporters are nowhere to be seen or heard. So pretty lonely out here, even though somehow I feel the need to continue, even though I have lost all sight and all feeling about where this is going.

So is this what Seth Godin calls The Dip? And yes, I bought the book, read the book, but I can’t find it at the moment, even though it came in my mind quite a lot of times recently. And I know it says something about not quitting when you feel like quitting. But I don’t feel like quitting, I just feel like this is somehow going nowhere, even though I know deep down that it is going somewhere as e.g. the number of visits go up constantly a bit and the number of pages goes up constantly and, contrary to the Dutch site, seem to be all being indexed by Google. So I am making progress and it is going somewhere, except I’m not sure if it is going where I wanted it to go and how I wanted it to go.

And yes, maybe that is where the answer is, that I kind of lost contact with the original goal or goals of the site. Like inspiring people for success. Or more exactly, giving people a real life success coach, whether in person or in the form of (the content of) this site.

And next to these goals also giving some kind of real time report of my road to success, writing while I am not yet successful so people who are in a similar situation as I am at the time of writing an  item, would be given hope or inspiration to continue on their road to success. But the problem is that I didn’t really achieve the success or successes I am looking for, things like fame and money and things like that, the goals I intended to write about and the goals I still intend to achieve.

And yes, I achieved quite some successes, like writing every day, like making my bed every day, like sending a daily inspirational quote every day, like changing my attitude, my mindset into a more positive attitude and mindset. But the ‘I am there’, the ‘this is what it was all about’ is still not there and even nowhere to be seen. And one of my major concerns or weaknesses, I still do this all alone, still do this again alone. As I tried to create a team, a Master Mind group, as I considered that one of my biggest weaknesses, something like team building, being a team leader, being a team member, working in a team. And I still didn’t solve that, at least not in this site, with this project. and also not in my main business, my web development and internet marketing business.

And I still feel tired and some kind of lost, like most of my life, like during most of my career, even though I have learned a lot and even though I know many answers. But until now just living a joyful life has not become reality, the basic thing I think I have been looking for all my life. And I know it can be done as I see some people, or maybe even most people, do that. Just live their life, without the amount of suffering I feel.

And strange, while writing this somehow I feel answers are coming closer, success is coming closer. As somehow I changed something, the last two years. As I know I gained an awful lot of self confidence for example. And this writing has given me an awful lot of analyzing power. As e.g. while writing this post I can somehow feel all the stuff I wrote before and somehow learn from it, learn from my experience in a better way than if I hadn’t written it down here, in public, in this site/blog.

So is this an inspiring post? I am not sure. But it does bring me closer to the thing or the things I have been looking for, searching for all my life. And yes, indeed, things like holidays without worries, things like feeling rich, being rich, yes, with money. Things like having an expensive car like the Pajero I have in mind, and being able to drive it without worry. And having parties in the house an being able to just invite guests without having to ask them to pay.

So maybe, going back to how I started this post, I just have to continue going, ‘running’, like a marathon. And looking to other parts of this post, maybe I should redefine or visualize better or again where I want to go, what would be the exact end goal, what would make me happy and make me feel like I reached what I wanted to reach.

And yes, going back to you, maybe you should ask yourself what marathon you are running. And if you are still on track, if you still know where you are going, what finish you were planning to reach.

As somehow I guess we all have some kind of finish in mind that would make us happy. And maybe that finish is just much closer by than we think, as we just had forgotten how that finish looked like and where it was.

Party time

Well, what will I write now, being in the middle of a party. And writing in a situation like this reminds me of stories about successful people, how they do it, doing things like I am doing right now. Like writing my daily post no matter what, even though I guess this post will be pretty short as I think it is better for everybody if I stay with the party instead of writing a post that in the end is not that important. As I guess nobody would really care if I write this post today or not, as I don’t have that many people reading these daily posts and I don’t send any e-mails to inform people there is something new on the site.

And yes, of course I am doubting more and more if what I am doing here makes any sense, or especially if anybody would read it some day. As as far as I know my daily posts are not really read by anybody. And also I may need to learn a bit more flexibility, so it might be a better option to skip my writing on a day like today. And yes, as you may or may not know, I did skip some days, but not many. And not for reasons like today, for ‘having a party’. I skipped only on days where I was really on the way or I was really, really down and felt like I could not write.

So what is true about those stories about success, about doing more, doing different than ‘other people’. Like I do right now, as I am sure not many people would do what I am doing right now. Will my persistence and discipline really pay off on the long term? As until now in my feeling this site has not been really successful, at least not in adding value to other people by most of my posts, at least if I look at the traffic to the site, at most of the pages, or the posts. Or should I be a little more flexible, a little less stubborn. And yes, as you can read today, until now I still choose to do my daily writing, as somehow I believe that my persistence and discipline will pay off, also in the long term, for the site, for the visitors of the site. And yes, for the short time it somehow pays off already, as I learned an awful lot about persistence, discipline and the habit that I have developed with this daily writing. So I think it’s good I just finished this post.

Another day has passed

Another day has passed and it is late again. And yes, I did some useful things for Inspiration for Success lately, even today, as e.g. I changed the categories into tags in my personal blog. And I think last Saturday I added two sites to the page about top inspirational sites. And just now I added a paragraph about not so inspirational sites on that page, even though after writing it I realized it was kind of a negative paragraph and I try to avoid negative things.

But right now, with this post, with my daily post, I am still confused and a bit lost how to continue with it. As I want it to be inspirational and not some kind of complaining diary, even though while writing this that is kind of the origin of my daily writing of a post in this site. As I wanted to take you with me on my journey to success, so you would know how I got there, through all my struggles and doubts and such. I wanted you to find my site, my writing based on what I am going through, or was going through, as when you read this of course today and my current situation are past history.

So where do I stand with this, with my journey towards success? In my feeling not that good, as I still don’t have money, my business is still not doing well and my relationship could also still be better. But on the other hand, ‘only’ two years have passed since my deepest down in life, since I had the feeling I had nothing left, no relationship, no money, no friends, no place to stay, no nothing. But even though in a more material way I didn’t make any progress, in a spiritual way I did. As somehow my mindset changed and somehow I developed self confidence. And I am wore aware of my negativity, my negative thoughts and feelings, meaning I have developed awareness of those things and that means again that I can change them, control them. As indeed, the start with those things is awareness, as of course if you’re not aware of how negative your thoughts are and how negative (or positive) thoughts influence or even define your life, you can’t make changes.

So yes, I made quite some progress. But still, if I compare myself with Justin Bieber or Leonar DiCaprio or Steven Spielberg(?!) or many other people who became famous or rich at a relative young age, then I am far behind. Ah, and of course I forget people like Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg. And I guess these people are exceptions, just being fortunate enough to be somehow priviliged being born at the right time, being at the right place at the right time with the right skills and meeting the right people and such.

And don’t get me wrong, this is not contrary to the Principles of Success I am writing about. As these principles say that you somehow can create your own break, meet your own right people and be in the right place at the right time. Except for the average person that may take a little longer than for those famous people who did something very fast or at very young age. It may take up to twenty or thirty years for the bigger kinds of dreams and successes and this figure is mentioned by Napoleon Hill himself, but also e.g. by Seth Godin.

So well, I guess there is hope, for you as well as for me, if you did not achieve the success you are looking for yet. Even though once I was taught ‘there is no hope’, which I guess is very true. Again, confirmed by Napoleon Hill and many, most or all successful people. As Napoleon Hill states that ‘there is no such thing like something for nothing’ and most famous and successful work or have worked very hard to get where they are. And no, I don’t believe in ‘hard work’. On the contrary, as there were periods in my life where I worked very hard and very long. And it did bring me money, quite a bit, but certainly no lasting success.

So right now I believe more in doing what you love and following your heart. And then the ‘work’ goes by itself.

So listen to your heart first, if you didn’t do that yet.

Earning as a blogger

Today I got an e-mail from Alden Tan as I get many. Often even e-mails with the same text with a different title, ‘as that works’ according to him. And his e-mail was about the commercial side of his blogging, the commercial side of blogging in general. That most bloggers earn from advertisements and people clicking on links. And ‘that works’. And I don’t mind, as I also earn from some of my sites, our sites (as most are earned by the company of me and my partner). And the last year the income from these sites were very welcome, looking at the financial status I am still in.

And his e-mail made me think, again, about this site. And yes, I know it has become some kind of personal diary, often of my problems and stuff, maybe even a site with my complaints, with me sometimes or often feeling a victim. So maybe my writing is not always that good, maybe it doesn’t really help people, maybe it isn’t all useful. But especially in the beginning I did my very best to also put more useful content, especially in the form of pages related to stuff I learned from the Principles of Success as described in Think and Grow Rich. And I started the IFS Tools, on my own in the end, as I couldn’t find any programmer to help me with it. And yes, I know they are kind of a draft, far from perfect and I guess for them being really useful they would need to be extended a bit. But when is good good enough?

Ah, and yes, I send a daily quote, now to around 150 e-mail addresses, partially from my initially entering e-mail addresses I had and found, but more recently from people signing up, as it is supposed to be.

So no, until now I didn’t earn anything with this site. And that bothers me. As either it is useless, except maybe for myself, or people just don’t care about the people behind many things like this blog, as ‘everything internet’ is ‘free’. And yes, I am also guilty of that, of using all kinds of stuff for free. As that is how the market works, first giving things for free, and in a later stage charge. Or just charge for additional stuff.

Well, the above makes me think again. As I still don’t understand how Facebook e.g. works. How can so many people use a system so much for free, presumably hardly clicking on advertisements, and Facebook still making a profit? Yes, maybe I still don’t fully understand what is real ‘mass production’ or ‘mass use’, the benefits of millions or billions of people using something. And even so, are we still willing to use services by paying for it indirectly, to especially the large companies paying for their advertisements to be put? Is this really the way how we want it? Should I really start putting advertisements here ‘because that is how the market works’? I don’t think so, but sometimes it is frustrating seeing ‘successful people’ and ‘successful companies’ earn so much, where I also do my best to put some value, even if it were just by sharing my thoughts.

P.S. I guess my request for a camera is still some kind of begging and maybe I should rephrase or just buy one, but is there really no one out there having some few years old decent camera he or she doesn’t use anymore and willing to send it to me?

Be careful what you wish for…

Mitsubishi Pajero Black 2015.A while ago I wrote a letter to Mitsubishi in Japan, as I wanted to inform them that I have put my mind on a black Mitsubishi Pajero, highest model, diesel with manual transmission. And while writing this, I realize that that letter was partly written based on fear, fear of not receiving the car I am determined to acquire within the time frame that Mitsubishi will still produce this car. But of course there was more, as somehow of course I am hoping that Mitsubishi would just give me the car I am determined to have, preferably including everything needed to be able to drive it, as as of the moment I still have no clue how I would realize all of this in the ‘real world’, the real world of money and such.

And I actually had no clue what to expect. I just wrote a letter to the President of Mitsubishi Motors Corporation in Japan, including an image of the car I have in mind, with the statement that I am determined to have this car, brand new, but have no means of just buying the car in the near future. So basically my request was to reserve a car like that for me until I would have the funds available to buy and drive it. And of course I doubted(?!) and still doubt that they would just give me that car, so my main request was basically to just have some kind of reply, even if it were just a confirmation of receipt of my letter.

So I had no clue what to expect, but, as I mostly do recently with these type of things, I just sent the letter and left it to The Universe what to do with it. And for quite a while, months, I didn’t hear anything. And as it was not really priority and I didn’t feel anything about it, I didn’t do anything like following up, something I often do (persistence…). So a few weeks ago I received a letter from Mitsubishi Motors Corporation, which made me quite happy, as at least I got a reply to my strange letter, my strange request. And I was a bit scared to open the letter at first, but after one or two days I opened the letter to see what the President of Mitsubishi Motors Corporation had done with my strange request.

And I was a bit disappointed. Or actually a lot. As it seemed my letter apparently hadn’t reached Mr. Takashi Nishioka, the President of Mitsubishi Motors Corporation, the person I was trying to reach. Apparently the letter had been passed to the marketing department of Mitsubishi Motors Corporation and was handled with what felt like a standard reply to Mitsubishi Pajero enthusiasts. Something like that they were happy with my interest in a Mitsubishi Pajero, but that Mitsubishi Motors Corporation does not sell cars themselves and that I should contact the local representation in The Philippines. And yes, the address was provided, but no name of a contact person or anything and the postal code was missing.

And of course this letter made me think of leadership, the leadership that Napoleon Hill mentions when he states that leadership requires delegation to capable lieutenants, so a leader can appear to be in many places at the same time and can handle many things at the same time. And to me Mr. Takashi Nishioka did not really pass the leadership test, as my letter was intended to be personally read by him, which I thought I stated pretty clearly, and not to be handled by the marketing department of Mitsubishi Motors Corporation. Actually I would have appreciated a simple one sentence letter stating that he had received my letter with his signature, than a more or less standard letter from the marketing department. Anyhow, of course it is up to him or Mitsubishi how to deal with with this, so please don’t misunderstand, as I mean no offense here or anything. I made and sent the letter and just released it to The Universe, and this is what I got.

And of course, me being me, persistent and dreaming and taking action, decided to see if I could get something more. So I did two things:

  1. I wrote a letter to Mitsubishi Motors Philippines Corporation as suggested, without any research, so I didn’t add the name of the CEO or anything.
  2. I wrote a second letter to Mr. Takashi Nishioka as I wanted to inform him about my feelings about the handling of my first letter.

And I guess it will take a while again before I hear anything related to (1) as PHLPOST took months to deliver the first letter, but today I got an e-mail from Mitsubishi Motors Philippines Corporation relating to my letter, which kind of made me happy, as the tone of the letter was very accommodating, even though I had the feeling that Mitsubishi Philippines didn’t really know what to do with my request, which of course is logical.

Ah, and one of the reasons to write this post, or actually the main reason, was that Mitsubishi Philippines stated that the car I have in mind is only available with automatic transmission in The Philippines. And that statement made me think, made me think a lot. Because how far should I go, should you go, to get exactly what you want. Something like “if Mitsubishi would decide to give me a black Pajero, highest model, diesel, with automatic transmission, should I take it or not?”.

Very interesting question to me, which made me think again about the phrase “Be careful what you wish for”.