Tag Archives: Life

Inspiration and excitement

I am still not in the mood of writing here, writing for Inspiration for Success, which I did much more enthusiastically a while ago. And I have the feeling that the reason is that it seems there is no progress, but there may be something more going on. As somehow I lost my lust for life, somewhere, long time ago, and without that it seems you can’t do anything.

And yes, I have been trying, and trying, and trying. And doing of course, like e.g. it is not nothing what I have produced with Inspiration for Success. And many other things I have done and produced and persisted, trying to ‘make it work’. But somehow it never works.

So there must be something else and I am getting more and more sure that it is all about mindset, about lust for life, not about what I do or what I want but HOW I do it.

So how to change that if you don’t know how?

Flexible discipline and habit

I am still struggling with going the extra mile and discipline and habit as right now I am tired (again) and don’t really feel like writing a post here and certainly not the next self analysis post.

And yes, I am seeing and feeling the power of habit as I am writing here now. And I am still making the bed every day, even though sometimes, very sometimes, just before I go to bed. But I do it.

And I also feel the habit of doing my little exercise in the morning, even though recently I was not able to do the sets of twenty as is basically my goal, but mostly sets of five that I mostly try to increase over the days.

So yes, these habits have brought me something and they are very powerful. But I am starting to realize I also seem to have developed the habit of being unhappy (instead of happy) and I have no clue how to change that, as all these self help ‘tricks’ don’t seem to help.

And yes, somehow I still don’t feel like I am able to control my thoughts, maybe the most important thing to do in life, maybe the most important message from Think and Grow Rich, from Napoleon Hill.

And I feel like I (still) lost all my desire and recently I lost almost all my sex drive, even though the last always was one of my wishes. But now I have it it’s no fun, as indeed I believe that sex is the major driver of human action, and I am also kind of experiencing that right now, as without my sex drive everything seems so dull, so useless, so aimless.

Ah, and I got back to my daily planning, and it is working, as it gives me some direction for every day and helps me finish things and makes me feel somehow kind of satisfied when I notice that I have all the things that I planned for a day.

So yes, I know all the tricks and even apply many or most or all of them, even keeping a daily gratitude diary.

But no, I am still not living, there is still something missing and I have no clue what, or how to get it, even though I feel it must be there.

So no, not a positive post today, although writing this down, making this analysis, could be the start of finding a solution, the solution. The solution how to live and enjoy life.

 

Ah, one good thing, as while finishing this post Ulla came to me, the dog that is still alive because,. next to other things, I decided to bring her to the vet, do everything I could to make her survive. And her coming to me just now gave me a very good feeling, even made me kind of feel happy.

A bit sad

I am a bit sad as one of our dogs seems to be very sick. And she has been sick for quite a while, but today she couldn’t eat anymore, at least she didn’t keep anything in her stomach and she was not able to walk properly as she is very weak.

And I know she is getting old and I knew for quite a while she was not okay, but I felt there was nothing much I could do. But today it hit me a bit as ‘if I would have had more money’ I might have had a car and would have followed up with the vet earlier.

And no, I guess it wouldn’t make that much difference and yes, I asked the vet to come over tomorrow, but still.

Just wanted to share and also that I decided not to write last Saturday as it seems all so pointless as I just can’t get this site going.

Anyhow, today a little sharing and a post again, so I am still moving.

And yes, Ulla gave us a lot, but still sad to see I can’t do so much as of the moment.

Self analysis, question 42

I still feel very stressed so it seems that my journey of working from Think and Grow Rich didn’t deliver what I expected from it. Or maybe better say, hoped from it. And I still can’t imagine other people feel as stressed as I do, or did most of my life. So how would I ever live a normal life with a little happiness and such in it? And would answering these self analysis questions help?

Anyhow, it is often said that one should never give up, so let’s just continue working on the self analysis questions, even though I got an e-mail just half an hour ago that hit me very hard as it is about something I have no clue how to solve it.

But let’s just persist and work on today’s question: “Are you conscious of possessing spiritual forces of sufficient power to enable you to keep your mind free from all kinds of fear”?

And the answer is definitely ‘no’. Or isn’t it? As I just feel very stressed, which makes me think ‘fear’, so I feel like I don’t have sufficient power to keep me free from stress. And I feel very poor, which makes me feel very bad, but it doesn’t mean I fear poverty (anymore?). As being in this state of feeling poor, which I still don’t really am as I still have quite some capital in the form of part ownership in The Malasag House, so if that is sold (or mortgaged further) I am out of direct financial trouble.

Anyhow, everything lately seems to point to spirituality, so maybe I should look more in that direction to deal with my stress, with my feeling tortured by, yes, who or what?

Self analysis, question 30

I was in doubt whether I would still do my daily post stuff today after going out with a friend. But somehow what he said stimulated me to turn on my computer half an hour ago and still send my daily quote and update my gratitude diary and write here right now.

So let’s see what today’s self analysis question is. And it is “Are you easily influenced by others, against your own judgement?. And the first thing that comes into my mind is that I am easily influenced by my partner against my own judgement, but that in general I am not easily influence by others. But straight away this puts the question if this is true, as if I am influenced by my partner against my own judgment, couldn’t it be true that this also happens to me with other people?

So why am I doing it? Well, I guess in the first place to gain his love. And second because I want to avoid his anger, avoid things breaking.

And I know this is not healthy, that I should stand up. But some how I can’t, somehow I don’t.

So am I also doing this with other people, in other situations?

Something to watch I guess.

And also better find a way to change it. As it’s not healthy.