Author Archives: Guus

Charity

I often get a very negative feeling when I think of ‘charity’. As somehow I believe ‘charity’ does not work, like just giving money or something ‘to the poor’. And I arrived at the subject charity as I offered to help a friend with his website for the SEMP Association. And no, my offer to help him was not really ‘charity’, but just like helping him with building a nice website as I can’t stand websites that are not built properly. So I offered to help him as a sponsor, which while thinking about it, just means I want something in return, that it is not just ‘giving’.

So when working on ‘charity’ of course when thinking about what inspirational quote to send today I searched for ‘inspirational quote charity’ and ended up on the page charity quotes. And seeing the quotes there made me realize that I am not the only one who has ‘problems’ with charity. And especially this one struck me:

“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” – Mother Teresa

As when talking about giving for charity I mostly feel obliged to just give ‘as one is just expected to give if others are in need’. And mostly that doesn’t feel good for me, especially as I am also much in need of especially money. And yes, I still have access to cash, so I can ‘give’, even money, but it doesn’t feel good to ‘give’ when I am getting deeper and deeper into financial shit with slowly an enormous interest burden, especially related to my current income. So anything I ‘give’ for charity just adds up to my future financial burden, as I need to borrow it, meaning I need, or actually want, to pay it back and it adds to my interest to be paid.

But let’s not talk about me and of course it’s okay to help people if they are in need, especially after some kind of disaster or personal mishap. And yes, I also do that, even in my current situation where I don’t feel comfortable in my financial situation. But I am starting getting more doubts about development aid or ‘giving to the poor’. As that just doesn’t seem to work. And while reading the quotes I also got some more clue why I mostly get an uneasy feeling if a rich actor or other famous person ‘gives for charity’. As of course it is easy for Bill Gates to give ten or twenty million dollar. He wouldn’t even notice as as far as I know he has much, much more. Where to me as of the moment it is very hard to give anything, as I don’t even have enough to support myself and my household.

And going back to the beginning, looking at sponsorship of course that is mainly in the interest of the sponsor. And development aid is as far as I know also not just ‘giving’, but often in the interest of the country or the companies in the country giving it. Like it has to be spent on certain things or with certain companies or within a certain country.

So it seems something doesn’t add up with ‘charity’. And of course I am also thinking about my ‘give and receive‘ idea.

So more thoughts to follow about this.

Imagination and subconscious mind

Leave a reply

Mitsubishi Pajero

Guus in black Pajero The last few weeks, months I have been imagining driving my black Mitsubishi Pajero, e.g. when riding up to Malasag using a habal-habal. So like closing my eyes and imagining I was driving my new black Mitsubishi Pajero or was sitting next to the driver and being driven up, to our house. And I have been imagining my (a?) black Mitsubishi Pajero driving up the driveway towards the house. And recently I have been imagining my black Mitsubishi Pajero standing in the driveway like being our car, like just using it, going in and out. And the last imagination took me quite a while, but last week I managed to really make a vivid image of it and really believing it.

And this is all kind of weird, as I have no clue how I could ever be able to buy a new black Mitsubishi Pajero, let alone drive it and pay for the fuel e.g. And no, I never really believed in these kind of things, but as Napoleon Hill indicates in his book Think and Grow Rich I decided to just try things like this, do things like this, no matter how weird or unfamiliar they felt or feel.

But as indicated above, somehow these things have effect, as before I had no idea of how to really feel like owning it, where as I also indicated above, last week I really saw ‘my’ Pajero stand in the driveway and me getting in and out, going to the city and such. And somehow I have and had the feeling it came closer, like first on the way up to Malasag, then seeing it drive up the driveway and recently just see it standing in the car port as if I, if we own it.

And last Saturday I saw a black Mitsubishi Pajero in front of the dealer, apparently just delivered from the factory. And I couldn’t resist to send an e-mail to MItsubishi Manila yesterday. And I am not sure if that was the reason I got this phone call from the Mitsubishi this morning or if they just remembered I was looking for a test drive and such in a (black) Mitsubishi Pajero. But I got it and even though at first I was a bit hesitant to go there ‘before two o’clock’ as I had planned quite some things today, I decided to go, as of course this was an opportunity I could not miss, like sitting in the car I have decided to own and making pictures of me sitting in this car and making pictures. So I went and we did make pictures, as I was even able to convince my partner to join. And the next step of course is to convince, ask the owner to bring his car to our house so I can really make pictures of a black Pajero in our driveway with me sitting in it.

And all of this is weird, as of course I am doubting my decision of owning this car that I specified without even really knowing it. So today was also weird, as sitting in it didn’t really feel like ‘wow’ or something. It was more about something like ‘achieving success’, getting what I want, getting what I decided on, without changing my decision, without doubt.

And no, I still have no real clue where all of this is going, as it is kind of ‘impossible’ for me to own a Mitsubishi Pajero within a reasonable time, like one or two years (I did not set a specific date for this goal), but it is kind of weird, kind of impressive, to see the effect of my visualizations and actions like writing to Mitsubishi, where the strangest thing is that in my imagination my Mitsubishi Pajero came closer and closer, like first going up Malasag Road, then going up the driveway and now standing in the driveway and ‘just being used’. And maybe even more weird that there is an actual black Pajero right now in Cagayan de Oro City, which makes it even ‘come closer’ to me, especially if it would really stand in the driveway somewhere this week or next week.

So let’s see. I’ll keep you posted.

Update

I was just organizing my photos and saw a photo named Mitsubishi Pajero 2015. And no, I don’t have my own black Mitsubishi Pajero yet. And yes, I am worrying a bit that this model will not be there anymore when I would be able to buy one, as I know kind of know something like that will probably not just be given to me. That is not what they call reality.

But maybe I am getting closer, as I may have found the first user of my DoctorsConnect software and that is an important milestone for further progress of that project, my main project at the moment.

And I did not really re-read this post right now, but I am sure many things in it are still valid, even though I often lost and loose the belief that I can go where I want to go and be who I want to be. Somehow these things are indeed related to belief, any belief.

And often I forget to be grateful. And yes, I think I need to let go of this punishing God of mine, the God from my youth, the God that is still in my mind and still rules my life. Not healthy, or at least not convenient, a punishing God, as it just puts me down, puts me down in everything I do. Better to have a loving God, a supporting God I guess.

So where will I find this positive Higher Power, this loving Higher Power, this loving God?

Home safe

Leave a reply

It seems I still miss the passion or determination part of things as right now I just feel tired and want to stop, enjoy, go to bed and not write here, especially as Id don’t have or feel any inspiration about writing an inspiring post here.

And still, while thinking about the above, re-reading the above paragraph, this is not fully true. As somehow I still want to write inspiring stuff, still want Inspiration for Success the thing I had in mind when I started it. But somehow I don’t know how, somehow I don’t know how to get through this dip.

So what is the main issue here and, maybe more important, how to deal with it. I think the main issue here is something like running a marathon, at least that is the sample that comes in my mind. And I am in the middle and have long forgotten how it all started and why I wanted to run it and a finish line is nowhere in sight. And maybe more important, I seem to have lost the idea of where the finish line even is. And on the way I lost my team and also my supporters are nowhere to be seen or heard. So pretty lonely out here, even though somehow I feel the need to continue, even though I have lost all sight and all feeling about where this is going.

So is this what Seth Godin calls The Dip? And yes, I bought the book, read the book, but I can’t find it at the moment, even though it came in my mind quite a lot of times recently. And I know it says something about not quitting when you feel like quitting. But I don’t feel like quitting, I just feel like this is somehow going nowhere, even though I know deep down that it is going somewhere as e.g. the number of visits go up constantly a bit and the number of pages goes up constantly and, contrary to the Dutch site, seem to be all being indexed by Google. So I am making progress and it is going somewhere, except I’m not sure if it is going where I wanted it to go and how I wanted it to go.

And yes, maybe that is where the answer is, that I kind of lost contact with the original goal or goals of the site. Like inspiring people for success. Or more exactly, giving people a real life success coach, whether in person or in the form of (the content of) this site.

And next to these goals also giving some kind of real time report of my road to success, writing while I am not yet successful so people who are in a similar situation as I am at the time of writing an item, would be given hope or inspiration to continue on their road to success. But the problem is that I didn’t really achieve the success or successes I am looking for, things like fame and money and things like that, the goals I intended to write about and the goals I still intend to achieve.

And yes, I achieved quite some successes, like writing every day, like making my bed every day, like sending a daily inspirational quote every day, like changing my attitude, my mindset into a more positive attitude and mindset. But the ‘I am there’, the ‘this is what it was all about’ is still not there and even nowhere to be seen. And one of my major concerns or weaknesses, I still do this all alone, still do this again alone. As I tried to create a team, a Master Mind group, as I considered that one of my biggest weaknesses, something like team building, being a team leader, being a team member, working in a team. And I still didn’t solve that, at least not in this site, with this project. and also not in my main business, my web development and internet marketing business.

And I still feel tired and some kind of lost, like most of my life, like during most of my career, even though I have learned a lot and even though I know many answers. But until now just living a joyful life has not become reality, the basic thing I think I have been looking for all my life. And I know it can be done as I see some people, or maybe even most people, do that. Just live their life, without the amount of suffering I feel.

And strange, while writing this somehow I feel answers are coming closer, success is coming closer. As somehow I changed something, the last two years. As I know I gained an awful lot of self confidence for example. And this writing has given me an awful lot of analyzing power. As e.g. while writing this post I can somehow feel all the stuff I wrote before and somehow learn from it, learn from my experience in a better way than if I hadn’t written it down here, in public, in this site/blog.

So is this an inspiring post? I am not sure. But it does bring me closer to the thing or the things I have been looking for, searching for all my life. And yes, indeed, things like holidays without worries, things like feeling rich, being rich, yes, with money. Things like having an expensive car like the Pajero I have in mind, and being able to drive it without worry. And having parties in the house an being able to just invite guests without having to ask them to pay.

So maybe, going back to how I started this post, I just have to continue going, ‘running’, like a marathon. And looking to other parts of this post, maybe I should redefine or visualize better or again where I want to go, what would be the exact end goal, what would make me happy and make me feel like I reached what I wanted to reach.

And yes, going back to you, maybe you should ask yourself what marathon you are running. And if you are still on track, if you still know where you are going, what finish you were planning to reach.

As somehow I guess we all have some kind of finish in mind that would make us happy. And maybe that finish is just much closer by than we think, as we just had forgotten how that finish looked like and where it was.

Crime thoughts

Leave a reply

We had quite an exciting night last night as the house of the friend where we stayed to be able to attend the funeral of the mother of another friend was robbed. And it was a very strange robbery where nothing seems to add up. As somehow there was too much coincidence like a large amount of money hidden in the quarters of the friend where we stayed. And another relatively large amount hidden in another place. And not too many places searched or disturbed so much except especially the room where the money was. As also some of our stuff was searched, but not really that thorough.

And of course now, my friend in panic, emotionally disturbed has all kinds of thoughts how this could have happened and who could have done it, of course including the four of us, who stayed at her house at the time.

So with my newly learned knowledge of looking at the positive side of things the first thing I tried was to calm my friend down, which of course didn’t work, as she was just robbed and was very upset. And as the hours passed I tried to search for something positive in this, for her or for any other person. And I couldn’t really find anything as there was quite a lot of money gone, some expensive and valuable equipment and worst of all of course a feeling of betrayal as it seemed the robbery had been done by someone who knew either our friend or the apartment.

What I did see over the day was that the negative thoughts of some of the people involved in this whole thing somehow seemed to make things worse, especially for themselves. And basically I was not really involved as nothing I did or didn’t do would have made any difference, so of course for me it was relatively easy to not involve myself in the whole negative thing I saw develop, although at a certain point I also got kind of angry at all those people blaming themselves and others for what had gone wrong, where to me in the end this was nothing more than some kind of burglary with or without inside knowledge, nothing more, nothing less.

And yes, interesting to somehow be more a spectator than someone participating in all the emotions and stuff going. And the most interesting thing for me was that basically everything was based on perceptions and hardly anything on ‘reality’ as until now nobody, of course except the people involved in the robbery itself, knows what had exactly happened and why and how. And despite me as indicated not being really involved, although of course I am a suspect as I was staying in the house when my friend was not there, I think with my recently learned skills of being more, well, disciplined, and more observant, more analysing what was going on and what I could learn from it, I think I did pretty well in handling this situation, where I saw almost everybody else somehow being drawn into this drama, a drama that was just created around perceptions around the actual event.

So I saw a lot of negative thoughts and feelings mainly backfiring to the people having them. Where to me in the end this was just a simple burglary where someone must have entered the house, took some stuff and then left the house. Nothing more, nothing less. But what was the worst around these feelings based on perceptions of the persons themselves or based on the perceptions of others were doing an awful lot of damage to some relationships, either developing or already existing for a long time.

So maybe the positive of all of this, at least for me, is to learn how dangerous perceptions are and how damaging actions based on those perceptions can be. And yes, I know I was not the person having been robbed and also not the person who might have made a mistake, so it is relatively easy for me to stay calm. But somehow I know that with my current knowledge and discipline and such I think I would have reacted much calmer and dealt with it much easier than the person involved.

So what stays in my thoughts related to the Principles of Success is to do things based on facts and not based on presumptions. So whatever happens, first analyse and figure out what is really going on, and then act.

Discipline

Leave a reply

Tonight I was kind of confirmed that everything related to success, at least business success, seems to boil down to discipline, and maybe persistence. And something like looking to people who are successful, who apparently to the person I was talking with seemed to be disciplined. So yes, I am writing a post right now and have just sent the first batch of my daily inspirational mail with quote, even though I am at a party and a bit drunk. So I don’t really feel like writing now, or more like I think I should stop now

But I did send the e-mail and will send the second batch later. And I did write a post, took the effort to get the computer, connect it to the internet, open WordPress and write a few words here. And yes, somehow it feels that is important, so better do.