Author Archives: Guus

Self analysis, question 25

My deskI was just thinking I have a smartphone now so I can make photo’s, something I longed for for quite a while as before I regularly wrote posts where I would want to add photo’s about things I was writing about, like the view or the house or the surroundings or the water system. But since I have a camera (through this smartphone) I didn’t see any need for posting photo’s with any of the articles. Strange isn’t it? So even now I wouldn’t know what would be an appropriate photo for this article as I am still working my way through the self analysis questions, but who knows where this article goes, so maybe I’ll add something. And if not I am quite sure in the future there will be many occasions where I could add photo’s. Or maybe just make a photo of my desk right now?

And strange to see how technology evolves, as I installed Dropbox on my smartphone and allowed it to put photo’s I am making straight ‘in the cloud’. So while writing my photo’s are being copied from my smartphone to the internet to my computer, so they go a long way while the devices are just next to each other. And that makes me think about distance as recently I saw some shows on TV about the Universe. And the Universe is huge, meaning reaching anything even with the space of light is still very slow, where for humans the speed of light is unimaginably fast. So yes, in a way the distance my photo’s just traveled are very small compared to the size of the Universe, almost the same as the distance between my smartphone and my computer. Where to me the distance the photo’s traveled is enormous, as they probably traveled out of the country and back into the country, maybe even through the United States, which is fifteen thousand kilometers away.

Anyhow, that is not what I wanted to write about as I wanted to write about “Do you have a definite major purpose, and if so, what is it, and what plan have you for achieving it?”. And while reading this question I can straight away see a relation with the photo of my desk, as you may see that there are some photo’s around my desk that represent things I want to achieve. And on the window on the other side, the direction I am looking at, there are more photo’s and they are all related to my definite purpose or things I want to achieve.

So yes, I do have a definite major purpose and until now I decided to keep it to myself as I consider it something private, even though some friends may be able to guess what it is. And maybe you are able to guess what it is or could be as sometimes I make some statements about it in this site. And strange, as I always think I don’t have a plan how to achieve it, but somehow I have as there are things written in my definite purpose document I always relate to, so somehow my definite purpose is slowly being cut up in smaller peaces that are more easy to handle.

And funny, looking at the photo, as Iwa is sitting on the chair in front of them and she is the one I was thinking about when thinking about making photos with my smartphone and posting them in this site or my Dutch blog. So again, the subconscious mind or Infinite Intelligence seems to be at work here, tonight.

So what is my definite purpose about? Well, simple, about love, romantic love. And about sharing that in the world. And in order to achieve that I need money and fame. And I also found out that I just want to be rich, really rich and enjoy that. So somehow I also fitted that in. And somehow also things like giving are part of it, and being patient.

And yes, the strange thing is that since I started with that document, wrote the initial version and later refined it, somehow I am living it, somehow I am getting closer to my goals, to my definite purpose. And while writing this is that somehow Infinite Intelligence is helping me and answering one of my desires in my desire document. As one of my requests to Infinite Intelligence in that document is to help me with planning, as I consider planning one of my weaknesses.

So again, while writing this article I see my desire document unfold, come to life.

God is great! Thank you, Lord.

Self analysis, question 24

Today a big step forward with DoctorsConnect and also a lot to tell, but I am not in the mood for a random post so I’ll just continue with my self analysis. And today’s question is an interesting one, at least for me: “Dos anyone ‘nag’ you, and if so, for what reason?”.

And the first thing that comes into my mind is “yes, my partner nags me” and the second thing is that I have no clue why, even though lately I think I have a better idea about the reason or reasons than before. And the third thing that comes into my mind is the question if my mam also nags me. And then of course the next question would also be ‘why’.

And talking about the reason I think the answer is that I don’t stand up for myself, that my self confidence is very low, especially when dealing with my partner. So it seems that somehow I am (still?) setting myself up as a victim, meaning my partner can’t do anything else than overrule me, overpower me.

And this is strange as I thought my self confidence increased a lot over the last few years where before I even presumed I had a pretty okay level of self confidence. As in general I did and do my own thing and don’t bother so much about what other people think. But as said, that’s what I thought. And right now I am not so sure anymore as it seems that most of the things I do, most of the thoughts I have are about what other people would think if I do this or that.

And still, of course it is natural that we humans are mainly focused on what other people think. And that means, at least in our own mind, that we are thinking about what other people think or would think. As in the end the whole world, humanity, is about interacting with each other. So other people are important.

So that is still the main subject of being human: the relation between me and the other, the relation between inside and outside.

Self analysis, question 23

It is very late and I don’t know what to write even though there is a lot in my mind and a lot of things happened today. And it was a good day as I have the feeling I made and am making a lot of progress even though ‘reality’ didn’t really seem to have changed yet, at least not related to money, income, wealth, riches.

But something changed, so maybe the ideas in Think and Grow Rich are really starting to pay off and maybe indeed riches will follow, even though I don’t feel the last so much recently.

So for now with this post the easy way out: just continuing with the self analysis questions. And today’s question is “Do you resort to liquor, narcotics, or cigarettes to ‘quiet your nerves?’. If so, why do you not try will-power instead?”. And this is a question that has been bothering me a lot, been in my mind a lot, especially the term will-power. As somehow I don’t seem to have much will-power and I think I even have less than I had before. And while writing this I realize that somehow the term will-power reminds me of have to and have to is something very sensitive to me as it reminds me of my dad forcing me to do things.

So do I resort to things like alcohol or narcotics or cigarettes to quiet my nerves? Yes, I certainly do as I pretty often drink alcohol to quiet my mind or my nerves as Napoleon Hill states it. And I have no clue how I would use will-power to quiet my nerves, my mind when I can’t sleep. As I don’t believe forcing things works, where again I relate will power to forcing things.

So looking back I went away from will power (in the sense of forcing things) towards things like the Law of Attraction, where the Law of Attraction is more about visualizing things, feeling things first and then naturally let them come to you or evolve.

And I just did a search on will-power and it may not be the thing that I thought it was: being forced to do things you don’t want to do. So I think I have some researching and reading to do.

Thanks for reading.

Another post

Already for a few days I wanted to write something else than about the self analysis questions so just now I decided to do that just now. And the funny thing is right now I don’t really have a subject in mind where the last few days I had. And right now I am even distracted as I am working to understand how to develop (Android) apps, something I didn’t do for a long time: learning a new programming language and/or tool. So not sure if that’s a good thing, but at least I’m excited to know to learn that, even though it is costing a lot of time to get started, as usual, but this time even more than usual as the setup of Android programs appears very weird and complicated at first.

But I know I will learn fast and soon I won’t know any better. And yes, of course I am thinking of complaints again, as to me these things are big things, things like learning a new software framework. And I never understand why people, especially commercial people, are so easy on that, as it is a big investment, at least to me.

Anyhow, I’m tired and don’t really feel like writing here, but at least I’m having fun and am learning something new, something people have been pushing me for for a long time: apps.

Self analysis, question 22

It is late and I am very tired and I am not sure if I am sacrificing my private life too much, but I still want to stick to my daily writing, so I’ll just continue with question 22: “How many preventable disturbances annoy you, and why do you tolerate them?”.

And here again, a small detail, as with some questions before: the word preventable. So again Napoleon Hill implies there are things you cannot prevent, you cannot control, something I believed is not true.

And that is still the hard part of life I guess, deciding what is preventable and what is not, what is controllable and what is not.

And next thing that makes me think here is what a disturbance is. As the first thing that comes in my mind is ‘debt’ and the second thing is ‘house’. And the third thing is partner. But these things are not ‘disturbances’, or are they?

And are they preventable? Yes, I could sell the house and pay all my debts. And I could leave my partner and live ‘free’. But those two things happen to be the most important things in my life, as I believe in lifetime relationships and I believe in something like ‘home’. So why do I allow the disturbance ‘debt’ in my life, well, because there are things that are more important to me than that.

Still, I am suffering from that and I still don’t fully know why. As somehow I made and make definite decisions about this. And again, there is a preventable disturbance related to ‘debt’, even if I want to keep the house and stay with my partner. As I am quite sure there are better places in the world to earn money than Cagayan de Oro City in The Philippines. So I could just leave and pay off my debt and return when I have enough money to live from or invest in something new or existing.

But again, what keeps me from doing that is that I don’t believe in long distance relationships and that I don’t want to run away anymore and make it work here, not somewhere else.

But are these wise choices? I guess not, at least that is what most people would say? But who are most people?