Author Archives: Guus

Slowly but surely?

Well, today I worked further on the software to store and display the pages top inspirational sites and top motivational sites. And I didn’t feel like uploading what I had made, but I just did, as I was thinking to write a post about it. So what I can produce now from the database is:

Zen Habits

Alden Tan

Evaluation Chris Guillebeau

Marc and Angel Hack Life

The Law Of Attraction

And the kind of funny thing is, that this will change when I add more sites to the database. As the text I have entered above is [inspirational‑sites‑list]. And right now I only see two sites. And I have to use a trick here to display that text [inspirational‑sites‑list], otherwise that would also be replaced with the above list.

And in the mean time I have been doing what programmers are not supposed to do, just solve like twenty errors while writing this post. Or actually not only solving errors, but also adding missing functionality.

And well, I don’t think WordPress is the most efficient system to do these kind of things, at least not the way how I did it just now, but at least it works. And yes, everything I made is still WordPress compatible and for the individual pages for the inspirational and motivational sites I even use a WordPress feature I was not aware of. And yes, I am starting to see that WordPress is indeed a very powerful system with which you can indeed any type of website, although I still think the way how I normally build websites is a bit more efficient.

But well, over time I also learned that if something works then it’s okay. So for now this works, even though not very efficient, but nobody will notice as I think that with the current server and the current traffic nobody will notice that the stuff I added to deal with the inspirational and motivational sites is not optimized for speed, on the contrary.

Anyhow, my post was not about slow computers, but about the slow progress I made with the stuff for the inspirational and motivational sites. But apparently I have been faster than I thought, as the basics has been implemented here now, so I can start with fine tuning the stuff and entering the data. Which of course will create very structured and presentable pages for the top inspirational sites page and the top motivational sites page.

So yeah, I am pretty satisfied now that it’s working and even implemented here, although you can only see a little result here in this post right now. But pleas notice the links work and point to the pages with the relevant information.

Change?

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Well, it seems something is different with my new project, with DoctorsConnect, so I decided to push through (again) and buy the domain doctorsconnect.ph. But of course I am a bit scared as it seems I am going full speed and my business partner seems to go a bit slower. Which is logical as, fortunately or unfortunately, I have the time for it and I think my business partner doesn’t. And I don’t really mind doing more, as I like the project, believe in it and also like working on it, but some memories of previous projects come into my mind. Memories about where I was in similar situations, working very hard, investing even, but finding myself alone in the end, without a business partner and with a product I did not know how to sell.

Some things are different though, as I have a better feeling with my current business partner. And I think the project is easier to market, even if I would have to do it alone. Also I learned from my previous projects to protect myself better with better legal agreements, written down agreements.

And maybe the most important is a changed mindset, as I know know the Principles of Success, where one of the principles is that every failure, or maybe better use the word defeat, brings me closer to my goal. And yes, I believe now more than ever that with persistence there is only one outcome possible: success. And I know more about leadership and that keeping a harmonious relationship with your team, with your Master Mind is crucial. And I am a bit scared writing about being scared, about repeating the same situation again, as I fear that that may damage the harmony with my partner. Especially as he asked me about the name of this site today, meaning he will probably read this and read more about my failures and mistakes and feelings. Things some people say I should not share with especially business relations.

But I guess I will just take the positive outlook. As I have nothing to hide and my feelings and my situation and my past are just my feelings, my situation and my past, nothing more, nothing less. And they have nothing really to do with my future, at least not in a negative way I think, as what I am bringing to this project is all my experience and knowledge and even a large part of the product, as the new system builds of course on the things I built for the other projects. And looking at what I have built in the time of a few weeks, not even full time, I think I can be proud of myself and I think hardly anybody in the world could build something like what I have built, especially not with the same quality, the same robustness.

So yes, I am carefully optimistic, optimistic that this project will succeed, where previous similar projects failed. And yes, maybe this is part of the help that was promised, by God, by my Higher Power.

So thank you Lord, for this new opportunity.

South Pole

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South Pole speed record I was just watching a documentary about an expedition to the South Pole to break some speed record reaching the South Pole in a vehicle. And there are two things in my mind right now, as I also just wrote to someone that somehow if God or Infinite Intelligence or whatever Higher Power is in charge of our life in the end does not want something to happen it won’t happen. But while watching the documentary I also realized that if you just push through, if you just persist, you can get what you want. And the documentary did not show the end of the record attempt as it kind of stopped at a severe moment of breakdown and I can’t find a confirmation straight away of what happened after on the internet, but I only know this, that if you push through you will succeed, no matter what. And looking at the images right on http://www.jasondecarteret.com it seems they made it, as it looks they are putting or showing a flag on the South Pole.

Anyhow, there seems to be some weird contradictory thing here, as I indeed believe that if God does not want something, or does want something, it won’t or it will happen. But I am also starting to believe more and more that if you really push through with something, if you really persist, you will get it.

But yes, watching the documentary I kind of saw that things that often appear so logical, so ‘successful’ don’t come easy and that you mostly or always go through an awful lot of breakdowns and setbacks. So it gave me courage again to push through with the things I want, no matter the setbacks and no matter that lately I got the feeling again that nothing seems to change, that I am further away from what I want than ever before, although slowly I don’t believe the last anymore, as I keep on moving and didn’t change my goals anymore. Strange, isn’t it? Or isn’t it?

Christmas eve

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It is Christmas Eve here, but I don’t feel like making posts about Christmas or send Christmas quotes, although the fireworks here just fifteen minutes ago made me search for a fireworks quote. I couldn’t find an inspirational though, so I decided to send something else.

Ah yes, and that brought me to forgiveness, something I still have a lot of difficulty with. But that may be related to my codependency, as I understand I need to learn to accept mistakes or something. And today I participated in a meeting of Codependents Anonymous, which at first scared me a lot as it makes me think of alcoholism as it is related to Alcoholics Anonymous. And one of the fears I had was ‘being sick’ as I don’t consider myself sick. And of course alcoholism scares me, as I guess it does many people, as it is no fun being an alcoholic or dealing with one. I had a friend once who was alcoholic and it was terrible to see what was going on. And I couldn’t do anything, I really felt powerless. As I found out that just throwing the alcohol away didn’t make any difference. Or even talking about it or asking my friend to throw it away, which he may have done at that moment, but I don’t remember the details.

But slowly I am starting to see the benefits of participating and indeed admitting to myself and to the group “I am Guus and I am codependent”, as that is how you are supposed to start to share. And it took me a while as ‘I am not just codependent’ and I don’t like labels, any labels, and certainly not of some weird sickness. But somehow I got there and I am starting to see the reason to start sharing like that. As somehow it is very liberating to admit something in that way because then you can start dealing with it. And of course it doesn’t mean something like “I am only co-dependent”. And as one of the group members pointed out to me, everybody has ‘something’, everybody is different and has ‘negative’ things he or she needs to find ways to deal with. And of course it is completely irrelevant if it is a sickness or not: I am very unhappy and have been so most of my life and if these meetings, these steps can help me be more happy, then why not. On the contrary.

And what kept me going and what finally made me kind of participating now are the promises that are given. And somehow something seems to have changed, not a lot, but changed. As I think this is the first time in my life that I belong somewhere, that there is a group of people that just listen to me and seem to have similar feelings and maybe experiences. So isn’t that wonderful, having a feeling of belonging, having a group of people happy listening to you and you listening to them?

Yes, those twelve steps programs seem to be really powerful, as I understand there are many of them. So if there is something you want to deal with or improve, maybe you could look for such a group. And related to the people welcome in Codependents Anonymous are just people with the intention to have better relationships, with themselves and with others. And who wouldn’t want that?

And yes, alcoholism still scares me. But if you have problems with alcohol, and deep within you you know, then you may just participate in one of the programs or groups of Alcoholics Anonymous. As I guess that would be the same experience I have now: finally some kind of a solution for a problem I can’t solve on my own.

Writing inspiring

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My mind is still with a recent post of Leo Babauta. And about how Alden Tan writes. And Marc and Angel. And many more famous bloggers. As they all seem to write in a way I recognize, and obviously many people recognize. And as they seem to have a large audience. And yes, their stuff is often, mostly, inspirational. And I believe my stuff is mostly not. And I don’t have a lot of followers, hardly any, I guess.

And yes, I realize most of them started quite a while ago, when it was much easier to get a blog started. As there weren’t so many yet. And yes, I know they have a different focus, mostly spend a lot of time on their blogs, their sites, where for me it’s just a sideline. And yes, they want to be writers, where I don’t think I want to be, although of course with my everyday writing I am.

So I am often wondering how ‘they’ can convert their bad experiences, their mishaps, their ‘what life throws at them’ in some kind of positive message. As I have difficulty with that. As I often just don’t feel good. So it doesn’t feel good to only tell half my story, just the nice stuff. And until now I didn’t find any real solution to be more happy, to do better. So it seems I just end up in complaining how bad life is or how bad I feel. And indeed, I guess that’s not very inspiring to read.

So yes, I also often wonder how ‘they’ have felt when their traffic went down, when things didn’t seem to move. And what they did, like if they were able to write about that, about how bad they felt.

And then again, I am starting to ask myself how real all those positive stories, those positive quotes are. And if it is really true if you can ‘get there’ with determination or hard work. Or something else. And I am starting to realize that it is all much more personal than what you just find on the internet. As I know in my case that ‘hard work’ didn’t work, until now, even though I also did some test where I found that my feeling about working hard does not match ‘reality’. And I am starting to believe that indeed if God or Infinite Intelligence or your Higher Power, or whatever name you have for that which is bigger than us, does not cooperate, does not want something for you, you can do whatever you want, follow all the advice of all people in the world, whether successful or not, but it won’t happen.

So maybe indeed, before you do anything, first pray, or meditate, find calmness. But yes, that is indeed, also, what I find everywhere, in all advice. So maybe that’s the common thing, maybe that’s the common start.