Tag Archives: Principles of Success

Don’t take no for an answer

I am getting more and more confirmed that a (first) no that you mostly get from people when asking something. And of course this idea goes back to the story of R.U. Darby and his uncle at the very beginning of Think and Grow Rich. And I didn’t really understand how it would work, as I often encountered “no’s” in my life and just took them for a no. And even when (stubbornly) trying to push something, the ‘no’ stayed ‘no’. Until recently, especially when I started working on my project Connect Mindanao and started sending e-mails to many people I wanted to ask for help or involve in my project. Or more recently, sending e-mails to find an initial investor or initial investors for my project.

And somehow something changed, as with these e-mails I decided to get answers from all people I tried to reach. And especially with this decision something changed. As suddenly e.g. I became more structured with keeping track of the e-mails I sent and the e-mails I received. And suddenly my approach to people became much more careful, more kind, more, I don’t know how to say, maybe just less stubborn, less controlling.

And it works, it pays off. As I learned more about persistence (vs. stubbornness). As I just keep going like sending follow up e-mails if I don’t get an answer or don’t get an answer that satisfies me. So I do get answers. And I get satisfying answers. As if an answer is not satisfying I just continue following up or asking questions or something like that.

Ah, and I can be very impulsive, so I developed the habit of not replying e-mails on the same day I receive them, at least if they are important e-mails. And I developed the habit of following up e-mails after two weeks if they are important. And I developed the habit of following up anyhow, even if I did not do so yet after two weeks, for whatever reason. So I do get answers. And I do get satisfying answers. From everybody I am writing e-mails or letters to. And that is very satisfying, for both parties I guess. As I get the answers, and the other party knows I am serious, that I am a person, and not some robot or something sending thousands of e-mails. Ah, yes, maybe last but not the least, I sent much less e-mails, as I am much more careful what to send and whom to send them to. As I know I am going to follow them up, as most have to be followed up. As most e-mails I send go to people who as far as I figured out right now, never reply to the first e-mail. Indeed, as some kind of persistence test. As indeed, also, described in Think and Grow Rich.

So don’t take no for an answer. But do it in a kind way. And make sure you ask the right thing from the right person.

Patience needed?

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Today and also yesterday I had some very nice and interesting conversations with several people visiting the party that was being held at our house. So especially this morning I felt very inspired with all kinds of subjects we discussed, especially related to this site, to success, to inspiration for success. And yes, I think I wrote a nice post earlier today on my dutch site, my dutch blog. But right now I don’t know what to write anymore. Yes, I remember the subject that the only law a human should obey is ‘though shall not steal’. As almost anything can be related to that, like if you take some of the Ten Commandments like you should not kill someone, you could say you should not steal his life. Or about cheating in relationship you could say you should not steal someones wife. And I always admired the Ten Commandments, as, no matter if you are Christian or not, I think most people would agree that those ten commandments cover virtually everything or maybe even really everything about how we should live our life, treat each other. In my opinion all other laws go back to those principles, somehow. But today I was really amazed, stunned, that you could basically even put that into one law: “Though shall not steal”.

Another subject we discussed was ‘success‘, one of the major subjects of this site, of even my project Inspiration for Success. As I already long time ago, just after starting with this site, with the page about success, I already found that success is something that is personal. And related to that, being Dutch and living in The Philippines, I am still wondering if people are really different than in more Western cultures. As mostly when I ask people here what they want in life, especially younger people, they answer something like ‘I want to take care of my family’, mostly meaning providing money for the family. And even when I try to ask further, something like, ‘but if you leave your family out of the equation’ or ‘if you leave money out of the equation’ I still don’t get answers I would get from people from other cultures. Often I just don’t get an answer at all, so today, when discussing this issue, I was thinking that the question of ‘what do you want in life’ is just the right question here, in Philippine culture.

And for a long time I already have in mind to do a study about success, about when people would consider them successful, especially younger Filipino’s and people from lower classes. So maybe I should push through with that, find a way to get that done. As that question is really important to me, especially as that answer might give me some more clues on how to build the site, how to inspire people for success.

But right now I think I did pretty well writing the above, if you look at how I started this post. So maybe I should just stop now and let those things rest in my mind, as I am sure the discussion of this afternoon will inspire me for more, for better.

Decision, persistence, repetition and more

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I am more and more amazed with what is happening to me and what has been happening to me for the last two years. As it seems there is an enormous power in decision and persistence. As those two in combination with imagination and repetition are somehow creating like determination and belief. As somehow, the last few days, weeks, I saw my black Pajero coming towards the house, through the gate. And the last few days I can already imagine it standing in the, well, not sure how to call that in English, car park area in front of our front door. And until recently I didn’t really believe that there really would be a black Pajero of the current model in the car park area of our house. But somehow I am starting to believe, which is kind of crazy, as I have no clue how I would obtain the necessary funds to buy one.

And yes, somehow I feel a bit like cheating on the people from Mitsubhishi I am in contact with. As they presume I am a normal customer who is just looking to get a proposal for buying a Mitsubishi Pajero. And that I would have the funds available to buy one if I wanted to, which is not really the case as of the moment.

So yes, somehow I feel a bit guilty about that. But I have been very careful in stating what I want and how I want it and yes, that of course I am willing to give something in return for a Mitsubishi Pajero. So yes, according to the real world thinking of course anybody would presume that I am a customer with a lot of money, especially if I am from the marketing and/or sales department of Mitsubishi Motors. But it is all presumption, as I never said I wanted to buy a black Mitsubishi Pajero of a certain type. I only stated I want to acquire, want to drive, and implicitly, want to own a black Mitsubishi Pajero.

And don’t get me wrong, I have no intention to cheat on anybody or tell half truths or something. Of course I would love to just buy the car I have in mind. And no, I don’t even want or need a discount, which again, people within Mitsubishi presumed. But right now I just can’t, so I am trying to find a way to acquire the Mitsubishi Pajero that I have stated I want to own. And that is what I have been doing, telling them what I want.

But I don’t want to write about some stupid car I want to own, some very expensive car most people won’t be able to afford (‘in the real world’). I want to write about that some time ago I made a pretty detailed description of the car I want to own. And I have been acting on that, like writing to Mitsubishi to inform them what I want. As I was, and still am, scared that I won’t be able to acquire the funds in time to be able to buy the car I have in mind. And often, when driving up to our house, mostly using a habal-habal, I close my eyes and I imagine sitting in my own black Pajero, driving my own black Pajero. And before I just imagined the car driving through the gate. And no, I didn’t really believed it.

But the strange thing is that quite recently something changed. As somehow I am really starting to believe that that car is really there. And also recently I can imagine it standing in the driveway and me going in and out of it, going to the city. So keep in mind, I kept repeating those things, as suggested in Think and Grow Rich, even though I didn’t believe it, even though I felt kind of stupid and was doubting that just repeating those things without really having the right ‘feel’ would work.

And no, I don’t know where this is going to end and if I would really be able to realize this dream of having a black Mitsubishi Pajero, highest type, current model, brand new, manual transmission and diesel.engine. But it is pretty amazing what is happening especially recently, after I kept repeating, imagining and acting upon this desire, even though it is ‘impossible’ and I didn’t really believe it.

Ah, so much more to tell, like all those things just seem to become their own self fulfilling prophecy. And somehow my self confidence has skyrocketed, even though nothing really changed in my real life situation. And that improved self confidence seems to arrive with other people, so somehow other people react different to me, different to what I say, different to the ideas I have, no matter how crazy they seem to be. And again, other people reacting differently, more supportive, also boosts my self confidence again. So it really seems I am moving to the other side of the stream Napoleon Hill talks about. And indeed, it doesn’t take more effort or something, on the road or in the stream towards riches, towards success. So keep reading, as if I can really achieve success, anybody can.

Another day has passed

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Another day has passed and it is late again. And yes, I did some useful things for Inspiration for Success lately, even today, as e.g. I changed the categories into tags in my personal blog. And I think last Saturday I added two sites to the page about top inspirational sites. And just now I added a paragraph about not so inspirational sites on that page, even though after writing it I realized it was kind of a negative paragraph and I try to avoid negative things.

But right now, with this post, with my daily post, I am still confused and a bit lost how to continue with it. As I want it to be inspirational and not some kind of complaining diary, even though while writing this that is kind of the origin of my daily writing of a post in this site. As I wanted to take you with me on my journey to success, so you would know how I got there, through all my struggles and doubts and such. I wanted you to find my site, my writing based on what I am going through, or was going through, as when you read this of course today and my current situation are past history.

So where do I stand with this, with my journey towards success? In my feeling not that good, as I still don’t have money, my business is still not doing well and my relationship could also still be better. But on the other hand, ‘only’ two years have passed since my deepest down in life, since I had the feeling I had nothing left, no relationship, no money, no friends, no place to stay, no nothing. But even though in a more material way I didn’t make any progress, in a spiritual way I did. As somehow my mindset changed and somehow I developed self confidence. And I am wore aware of my negativity, my negative thoughts and feelings, meaning I have developed awareness of those things and that means again that I can change them, control them. As indeed, the start with those things is awareness, as of course if you’re not aware of how negative your thoughts are and how negative (or positive) thoughts influence or even define your life, you can’t make changes.

So yes, I made quite some progress. But still, if I compare myself with Justin Bieber or Leonar DiCaprio or Steven Spielberg(?!) or many other people who became famous or rich at a relative young age, then I am far behind. Ah, and of course I forget people like Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg. And I guess these people are exceptions, just being fortunate enough to be somehow priviliged being born at the right time, being at the right place at the right time with the right skills and meeting the right people and such.

And don’t get me wrong, this is not contrary to the Principles of Success I am writing about. As these principles say that you somehow can create your own break, meet your own right people and be in the right place at the right time. Except for the average person that may take a little longer than for those famous people who did something very fast or at very young age. It may take up to twenty or thirty years for the bigger kinds of dreams and successes and this figure is mentioned by Napoleon Hill himself, but also e.g. by Seth Godin.

So well, I guess there is hope, for you as well as for me, if you did not achieve the success you are looking for yet. Even though once I was taught ‘there is no hope’, which I guess is very true. Again, confirmed by Napoleon Hill and many, most or all successful people. As Napoleon Hill states that ‘there is no such thing like something for nothing’ and most famous and successful work or have worked very hard to get where they are. And no, I don’t believe in ‘hard work’. On the contrary, as there were periods in my life where I worked very hard and very long. And it did bring me money, quite a bit, but certainly no lasting success.

So right now I believe more in doing what you love and following your heart. And then the ‘work’ goes by itself.

So listen to your heart first, if you didn’t do that yet.

How to write an inspiring post

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Yes, it is still in my mind how to write an inspiring post. And I still don’t know how to do that, as it is quite late and I don’t feel like writing. But of course that is none of your business as an inspiring post should inspire you, and knowing about my current feeling or status is probably not that inspiring. Or is it?

As I just finished installing Caesar IV on the PC of a friend of mine. And over the day that started to worry me, as it was one of the few things on my planning list for today. And it was supposed to be a pretty straightforward thing as I had done it before on one of our own PC’s here. So I knew a bit what to expect, except the PC of my friend runs Windows 8 where our own PC I installed Caesar IV on runs Windows 7. But as the game, a pretty old game not made for newer versions of Windows, ran on Windows 7 without too many problems, I expected the installation a bit similar to the one before, not really straightforward, but doable within a few hours and without too much effort. How wrong I was, as the installation of .NET 3.X is quite different on Windows 8 compared to Windows 7. And it needed to download something, which didn’t work and that didn’t make much sense to me.

Anyhow, I did manage to install the game, and that is kind of the inspiring part of this post. As I used quite some of the Principles of Success to get this task done today. At first I used the principle of decision, as I decided quite a while ago that I will finish my daily to do list, no matter what. And I have become pretty good at that, as it is very rare that I fail to finish all the items on the list that I have marked as ‘definite’. So with this list I have developed the habit of planning things and finishing them at the time specified. And keep in mind that this is not particularly difficult, as when I started with this habit I started with just one little thing per day. So I was 99% sure I could finish that thing. And I did that for quite a while, weeks, if not months, to get started with this.

And still, recently I didn’t feel like doing a lot of things. And I have been on a short holiday. So for the last weeks, months, my daily planning has been pretty empty, like many days where I planned nothing. And over time I learned to specify things more specific, like adding the word ‘maybe’ or ‘probably’ or stating something like ‘if pushes through’. As I noticed that for some things you depend on other people and as I don’t think it is healthy to force other people to follow your planning I am very careful making statements about that (thanks Mike, for pointing out to me how this works).

So also today I thought I had a pretty simple list that could easily be finished. How wrong I was, as somewhere during the evening I really started to believe that this game installation might not work out today. However, for those things the principle of persistence comes in handy, together with the earlier mentioned decision. As those two things just made me push through where other people, or I myself before I learned all this, would stop, would declare defeat or failure. But I didn’t, as somehow I have developed to just go further, a lot further, than I used to before. And finally it did work out, although in this case it might not have worked out today. But it did.

And most important what I learned, what I can confirm also from what Napoleon Hill and many other famous ‘self help’ writers state, is that it doesn’t really take a lot of effort or energy. As it is just a habit I developed. It is just ‘something I do’.

So well, even though it is later than I wanted, expected, and even though I feel a bit tired and didn’t really feel to write a post, I think I managed to write something useful which even might be inspiring. So maybe I am also slowly developing the habit of writing, writing inspiring posts. How successful is that?

And what about you? Do you finish things? Have you developed habits that help you finish things? And yes, looking back it is all worth the effort. As with all these things I have changed, where the major change has been that I have an awful lot more self confidence, which I think is a big thing.