Tag Archives: Progress

Self analysis, question 31

I just read an early version of my desire document and I realized it is all about hope, at least right now for me. As I passed most of the initial deadlines and my biggest desire is kind of in ruins as of the moment, even though I decided not to give up yet to really achieve it.

And right now I am thinking how important it is to really read my (or your) desire document aloud twice a day or at least regularly, as it keeps your mind focused on what you want and how to achieve it and what you are willing to give. And I didn’t do that for a while as I was scared as some things start to take long, too long for me feeling comfortable.

But somehow just reading it right now again the whole thing just comes back, the thing or things I really want in life, the things I decided to do some two and a half years ago, starting from the ideas of Napoleon Hill. And somehow there may be a reason for reading it now, realizing what is going on now, as lately, especially the last few days, maybe weeks, I was very down and a bit confused, which seems to go back all to fear. And fear is what the end of Think and Grow Rich is all about, as fear seems indeed to be the biggest enemy of all as I see and feel now, especially the last few days, weeks, how destructive fear is or can be, as it seems most of my misery goes back to fear.

And also maybe there is a reason I am going through this right now, as Napoleon Hill writes that in order to conquer something we need to know all about it. And I am starting to know more and more about fear and I see more an more how destructive it is. So maybe I am given this period to write about it or maybe just experience it so I can work on overcoming it, dealing with it.

So let’s continue with the next self analysis question:“Has today added anything of value to your stock of knowledge or state of mind?”. And I think I just confirmed with the above that I did, as I know a little more about fear again and also what effect it has on my state of mind.

So that’s a nice end to this post where I though I was writing about something else than the subject I was planning to write about, but I was wrong.

And yes, maybe worthwhile to ask yourself this question every day, every end of the day. Which may even lead to a good start for the next day, to be aware if the day, the things you are planning to do or are doing, are adding something to your stock of knowledge or have influence on your state of mind. And if it is improving your state of mind or not.

So maybe something to print and put on your desk or your mirror so you can see it in the morning or if you are at work.

Photos

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Well, it doesn’t happen often, but last night I was so tired and so late that I just went to bed and let the daily tasks related to Inspiration for Success for what they were and also my regular meeting with my virtual private cabinet. And thinking about the last, some strange things have happened lately. As the ordering of the seats, the people around the table has changed. And that just happened through the initiative of some people who wanted to sit closer to me, at the head, the end of the table. And while writing it were indeed the stronger personalities who just took their place closer by and kind of forced the other people more to the back. So it is true what Napoleon Hill describes about things like this. That the images you create in your mind kind of come alive by themselves. And yes, I am wondering if there is some real relation with those people related to some remark I read from Napoleon Hill about that.

Ulla and YokYok So no progress with my self analysis questions as I just wanted to put some photos here I made with my new smartphone, my new camera. And one of the things I always wanted was to have some more photos of the dogs, so I’ll put one next to this paragraph, even though I didn’t make the photos I had in mind. But it is a start and right now it is dark and I noticed the flash is not so strong or something as photos made in the dark are not that clear.

Selfie And I tried to make a ‘selfie’, something I heard a lot about, but never did as I didn’t have a suitable device for that. And it doesn’t look that good I think, but I’ll just share it here. And with ‘doesn’t look good’ I mean that apparently I didn’t look in the lens and my eyes are closed, but I have the feeling that has partly to do with that the camera was so close to me and that a flat lens may not be as good as a ‘real’ lens, although apparently technology progresses very fast. And somehow I was pleasantly surprised that this ‘app’ thing I never wanted to deal with is able to put photos I make straight into Dropbox so they are available automatically on my computer shortly after I make them. So there are advantages of a smartphone above a normal camera. I still hope for the normal camera though, although for now I can at least share things more visually.

And no, I don’t really plan to use my smartphone privately, like using Facebook all the time, be online all the time. And for now I pretty well managed, but again, I am making good use of my phone/camera for my business as I was able to support my internet marketing project with posting photos in Facebook.

So well, somehow I am making progress, somehow things are changing, as my main project is going well and as also yesterday I got a payment from a new customer. But yes, all of this made me feel very tired, exhausted even last night. And I am still tired, but slowly getting back to normal.

Self analysis, question 25

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My desk I was just thinking I have a smartphone now so I can make photo’s, something I longed for for quite a while as before I regularly wrote posts where I would want to add photo’s about things I was writing about, like the view or the house or the surroundings or the water system. But since I have a camera (through this smartphone) I didn’t see any need for posting photo’s with any of the articles. Strange isn’t it? So even now I wouldn’t know what would be an appropriate photo for this article as I am still working my way through the self analysis questions, but who knows where this article goes, so maybe I’ll add something. And if not I am quite sure in the future there will be many occasions where I could add photo’s. Or maybe just make a photo of my desk right now?

And strange to see how technology evolves, as I installed Dropbox on my smartphone and allowed it to put photo’s I am making straight ‘in the cloud’. So while writing my photo’s are being copied from my smartphone to the internet to my computer, so they go a long way while the devices are just next to each other. And that makes me think about distance as recently I saw some shows on TV about the Universe. And the Universe is huge, meaning reaching anything even with the space of light is still very slow, where for humans the speed of light is unimaginably fast. So yes, in a way the distance my photo’s just traveled are very small compared to the size of the Universe, almost the same as the distance between my smartphone and my computer. Where to me the distance the photo’s traveled is enormous, as they probably traveled out of the country and back into the country, maybe even through the United States, which is fifteen thousand kilometers away.

Anyhow, that is not what I wanted to write about as I wanted to write about “Do you have a definite major purpose, and if so, what is it, and what plan have you for achieving it?”. And while reading this question I can straight away see a relation with the photo of my desk, as you may see that there are some photo’s around my desk that represent things I want to achieve. And on the window on the other side, the direction I am looking at, there are more photo’s and they are all related to my definite purpose or things I want to achieve.

So yes, I do have a definite major purpose and until now I decided to keep it to myself as I consider it something private, even though some friends may be able to guess what it is. And maybe you are able to guess what it is or could be as sometimes I make some statements about it in this site. And strange, as I always think I don’t have a plan how to achieve it, but somehow I have as there are things written in my definite purpose document I always relate to, so somehow my definite purpose is slowly being cut up in smaller peaces that are more easy to handle.

And funny, looking at the photo, as Iwa is sitting on the chair in front of them and she is the one I was thinking about when thinking about making photos with my smartphone and posting them in this site or my Dutch blog. So again, the subconscious mind or Infinite Intelligence seems to be at work here, tonight.

So what is my definite purpose about? Well, simple, about love, romantic love. And about sharing that in the world. And in order to achieve that I need money and fame. And I also found out that I just want to be rich, really rich and enjoy that. So somehow I also fitted that in. And somehow also things like giving are part of it, and being patient.

And yes, the strange thing is that since I started with that document, wrote the initial version and later refined it, somehow I am living it, somehow I am getting closer to my goals, to my definite purpose. And while writing this is that somehow Infinite Intelligence is helping me and answering one of my desires in my desire document. As one of my requests to Infinite Intelligence in that document is to help me with planning, as I consider planning one of my weaknesses.

So again, while writing this article I see my desire document unfold, come to life.

God is great! Thank you, Lord.

Self analysis, question 15

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The question of today is a hard one for me as most of my life I have not been happy, actually quite down. And maybe that is the more sad as my main keywords are “Joyful, loving and powerful”, meaning I didn’t encounter or gave a lot of joy.

So today’s question is “Are you sometimes ‘in the clouds’ and at other times in the depths of despondency?”. And I know the feeling and I guess it kind of applies to me, but somewhere, somehow I ‘lost it’ in life and from that moment on it seems my whole life was about negativity, about unhappiness. And yes, there have been a few times where I was really happy, where I really enjoyed life, really had hope, really was ‘building’, but most of my life I have felt very gloomy, like living within a dark cloud of unpleasant things, of ‘unpleasancy’.

And something comes up in my mind right now what a friend of mine recently told me, that she remembered me as gloomy. And that was in my childhood, when I was six or so. So my negativity, my gloom must be very old, must go back to my early childhood, baby time even. And I don’t remember so much of that anymore, except some stories that have been told to me. So it is very hard to figure out what is reality and if it was really my own experience or if it relates to things I am told, even though recently some of the ‘real’ memories come back to me, like the time I was hiding under the bed when I was staying with someone who took care of my as my parents were not there. As far as I know that was during the time my mam was in the hospital because of giving birth to one of my sisters.

And I know I can still do that, hiding, still even do that. And I always considered that bad behavior, but is it really?

And today in my Dutch post I was contemplating if things were changing (for the good), and somehow they are, even though it is not really visible in reality yet. As I am starting to take my feelings seriously and with that my wants and needs, where until now most of my life was about others, pleasing others. And even tonight I did that, thinking what the other would think as I declined a meeting. And the more I think about that the stranger it seems to even consider that you know what the other would feel or think. And putting the others wishes above your own wishes, the others wants above your own wants, the others needs above your own needs. But that’s what I seem to do most of the time, still.

And I was raised as a Christian so I know the Ten Commandments, including “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself”. But somehow the world seems to have made something out of it like “you shall love your neighbor more than yourself”, as everywhere I look and read people say and write to first focus on others (and not on yourself?), including Napoleon Hill in Think and Grow Rich. But the more I think about it, the more it doesn’t add up and ‘pleasing others’ certainly didn’t work for me, at least not until now. And I know more people who are doubting the concept of first thinking about others (and then about yourself).

So where am I going with this now? Did it answer the question? No. But I think what I wrote above gives me some more insight on what is going on in my life and where I am going (and where I want to go).

So let’s change direction (more), as until now it didn’t work.

Strange

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It is strange what has been happening the last week or so as somehow it seems something has changed, really changed. You may remember the post from last week or so that I saw myself on the other side of the stream, flowing to success, to riches, instead of poverty, that I had (have?) been able to move to the other side. And that was scary, as it felt so fast and there was nobody there, just me.

And I don’t have that image so much in my mind, but somehow in my real life also things changed, as some people are responding to me now, helping me now, where that never happened before. And just now, fifteen minutes ago also something strange happened, as a client on oDesk had filed a dispute and I expected an e-mail related to this dispute that the client was right and that I would not be paid for my efforts. And to my amazement the message was that the client was not eligible for a refund, so that I was right, not the client. And this was even the message I had been scared of for a few hours, made me hesitant to open my e-mail.

So a lot of positive, but yesterday I again missed my daily Inspiration for Success things within a week, which is very, very uncommon. And there was not even a good reason for it, as I just had visitors and had some fun time with them, which made time fly, so it as around six am this morning that I went to bed, where I had earlier decided that it was no use to fit my daily tasks in.

So a lot going on here and indeed, I am starting to see more and more how fear affects many, many things in a very negative way and that reality can sometimes (or often) turns out positive instead of negative, instead of the thing we are afraid of.

So exciting times and I hope that this will lead to (more) success, so this blog would finally get value, describing someone going from the deepest downs towards success.